Before we start, I just want to say that this was very a fun round, and there were no bad songs. Keep that in mind for the rankings, because I genuinely enjoyed every song in some fashion.
Thanks again to Braden for taking the time to guest judge. He enjoyed it so much he ended up writing comments for every song. Since I agree with a lot of his takes, I'll forgo my comments and get straight to Braden's thoughts.
Hi everyone! Very excited to judge this round, I see only a few modern entries so I’m hoping y’all at least picked good classics :))
Kill the Lights - I expected this song to be submitted and am fully okay with that :) This is a bop even if the club remix is objectively better, I love the use of the triangle and feel it isn’t used enough in music, Alex Newell is just an absolute QUEEEEEEN whose energy can’t be matched and was so needed for whoever put out this bop :) Loved this!
Funkytown - Love the harmonies, the beat (is that a cowbell?? Lovesssss if it’s a cowbell) is so fierce. I think it’s good, just not very interesting tbh and the length reallyyyyyy doesn’t help. After awhile it all starts to blend together
Kissing Strangers - BAWPPPPPPP I can’t tell if this is pandering or not because this has been on my top five most played songs for the past few months or so. I don’t even know what it is about this song tbh. It’s just such a bop, it’s just the truth that lesbians making songs about lesbians >>>>>> disco inspired pop at its best I love this :)
Kiss of Life - BAWPPPPPPPPP GET IT JESSIE GET IT KYLIE this is sooooooooo hot. The choir effect is great, their voices sound great and I just love the rhythm and tempo, it made me feel like I was supposed to dance to this all night :)
Young Hearts Run Free - It’s solid! It’s got a good beat! It’s a little forgettable? It needed a moment tbh but it was fine.
I Feel Love - YESSSSSSSSS This bop is so underrated in her discography, this servesssss I love this beat and is so ethereal, I honestly believe after hearing that you genuinely love this song which after *some* of the entries is refreshing and great to see and it shows, you made an awesome pick! :) However…same critique that boy does this drag after awhile. I know it’s cuz disco is like club/house music at its core but I’m not at the club rn so idc.
Super Freak - I know it’s a classic and stuff but God do I not like his voice. I like that this is, at its core, disco inspired 80s music, which is a new and honestly really fun interpretation I haven’t seen so far yet (I mean, who doesn’t love 80s music?) but like…this is fine. “Cant Touch This” was better.
Fantasy - Yessssss funky. Love that you didn’t just submit their most listened to song tbh. This bass thumps and grooves so well here.
Voulez-Vous - THESE ARE THE DANCE BOPS I WANTED YESSSSSS ugh these VOCALS kill me, I love that you picked a song that may not have been their biggest bop but most embraced disco here. The DRAMATICS are everything I needed and I absolutely LIVED for this pick :)
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough - …does this count? I’m gonna start off with the bad news: I don’t count this as disco. This is, unfortunately, Motown. And when I think of Motown I think of Barry Gordy putting the Supremes in fluffy blue dresses to sing for Ed Sullivan, meanwhile, disco is supposed to evoke images of now Supreme-less Diana Ross snorting coke off a wobbly table at Studio 54 with Cher. And those are two completely different feelings involved with these images, unfortunately. Now, the song is good, I mean it’s a classic, but it’s giving elementary school choir recital. Like, it’s cute, but I wanted excitement from guest judging this round and this, unfortunately, didn’t give it to me :/
September - Cool. Bop. Objectively it can’t not be a bop, it’s played every September 21st by the girls who think they’re quirky for listening to a single disco song. This, like the song before, also gives very elementary school choir recital. Like it’s cute, but disco is supposed to be EXCITING and full of life and I think by picking the most mainstream and kinda generic song for this category I feel like this song has lost its freshness and “full of life” feeling.
Gamesofluck - So this is the legitimately only song I hadn’t heard before in this lineup and this SERVEDDDDDD AHHHHHHH THAT SYNTH AND BASS omg I live. This feels so fresh tbh and feels indicative of the modern take the music scene is putting onto disco now. It’s a little weird and experimental but that’s what makes disco disco, I love this I wish I was a stoner cuz I’d be losing my MIND to this high.
We Are Family - I’m so sorry but this song has also been ruined by how overplayed it is. I gave the critiques to two of the songs prior that their songs were giving elementary school choir recital and what other way to round out those submissions than the song that plays as all the parents leave the auditorium? It’s objectively great, I forget how funky and good that bass is, but it’s just so played I don’t feel any excitement from it anymore.
I Wanna Be Your Lover - I love that Prince is here, even if he was not the umm best person he was such a musical genius. This song is just good vibes all around how can you not love this song? I could’ve used a minute less of the instrumental? But overall it bops :)
Anyways, thanks y’all for having me!!! Stream “Children” by Billy Porter :)
You are safe and moving to the next round. Congrats!
Sorry BBlover96, you have been eliminated. Jayson, you may have been the victim this round, but it was a pleasure having you. While your Phineas and Ferb song was cute, it just wasn't enough to put you through. We also must continue without Maxi1234 and CarolinaSteele who both did not submit in time. You have all been great contestants. Thank you all for playing <333
Round 6 Theme: The Midas Touch
Some of you may be familiar with the story of King Midas, the king who wished that everything he touched turned to gold. Like King Midas, some artists are so good that every track they appear in becomes gold. This round, the challenge is to submit a song with a featured artist that outshines the main artist. I want to hear a song that is gold because the featured artist is so good.
Reminder to also submit a free choice song! And if there are any questions or confusion behind the theme, please feel free to ask me. As always, I'll send out reminders before closing submissions. Good luck everyone!
Overall (avg score):
Kissing Strangers (2)
Voulez-Vous (2.5)
Kiss of Life (3.5)
Kill the Lights (5)
Fantasy (6.5)
Young Hearts Run Free (7)
September (7.5)
Gamesofluck (7.5)
I Feel Love (8)
I Wanna Be Your Lover (8.5)
Superfreak (10)
Funkytown (11)
We Are Family (12)
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough (14)
Tim's Ranking:
Kissing Strangers
Young Hearts Run Free
Voulez-Vous
September
Kill the Lights
Kiss of Life
Fantasy
Gamesofluck
I Wanna Be Your Lover
Superfreak
We Are Family
I Feel Love
Funkytown
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough
Braden's Ranking:
Kiss of Life
Voulez-Vous
Kissing Strangers
I Feel Love
Kill the Lights
Fantasy
Gamesofluck
I Wanna Be Your Lover
Funkytown
SuperFreak
September
Young Hearts Run Free
We Are Family
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough
Free Choice Ranking:
Hot Stuff
Caution
Baby Blue
Million Dollar Bill
Red Eyes
Mood Ring
Fallin
Holy
Happy Endings
Blame it on the Kids
Can’t Let It Show - up for elimination
Lost Kitten
Disco Miniature Golfing Queen - up for elimination
El Tejano
Sorry for the hiatus. Sometimes life deals us cards and makes everything taste like it's salt, but everything is gucci and we are back now.
Here are the tops and bottoms for this round.
#NewNightmare7: No One Knows - I do really enjoy this song. The bass is subtle during the verses but still manages to come through in an impactful way. Then as the song goes on, it really does get better and better. My favorite bit is the bass part right before the outro - it’s simple but it works so well.
#txashaun: Young Dumb & Broke - Sometimes Khalid voice works, other times it’s just kind of monotone and boring. For me, it’s the latter in this song. The bass on the track is pretty barebones and simple. I just wasn’t very excited or impacted in any way by this song.
#PennyTrationStan: Like I Do - Oh she pops off! The bass in the first verse is great and really sets the tone for what’s to come. And I love her voice. This was great all around.
#Heavenlee: Radioactive - I’m not super into Imagine Dragons, and this unfortunately was never a song I really enjoyed. The track just sounds kind of messy. The bass is so heavy on the track it kind of sounds like it’s splattering everywhere - not sure if that makes sense lol.
#CarolinaSteele: Rule of Nines - The bass was kind of hard to hear but when I could, there were definitely parts that were pretty cool. Like the part right after the bridge slaps. What put you in the bottom was the vocals. I didn’t love her screaming, and even her normal singing voice didn’t really resonate with me.
#computer3000: The Less I Know the Better - This song has the sound I was hoping to hear this round. It’s super groovy and has a fun ethereal sound to it. I hate the abrupt ending, but overall I really loved this.
And the winner of Episode 4 is...
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#PennyTrationStan! That was a standout song this round, and I'm super glad I was introduced to it. Congrats!
After listening to the free choice songs, one of you submitted a song that actually topped the free choice rankings. That person will be the final person moving on to the next round, and that person is...
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#Heavenlee! Mid Years was a bop and secured your safety.
Unfortunately, txashaun, you have been eliminated. You had a really good run with two top three finishes and some phenomenal free choice selections. But unfortunately, your free choice song - while it was quite nostalgic for me - just wasn't strong enough to keep you around. We also have to say goodbye to oswordo3 who did not submit a song for this round. It was great having you both - thanks for much for playing <33
Before introducing the next round, I want to introduce our guest judge for the next round: FromAWindow! Braden and I will be ranking your theme selections and the average placements will determine the final theme rankings. HOWEVER, only I will be judging the free choice songs for elimination - just keep that in mind.
Round 5 Theme: Disco
Braden and I are both in our disco queen era right now. For this round, just post any disco song. It can be classic disco, modern disco pop, or anything disco adjacent. If you have any questions, please let me know. I'll send out reminders before closing submissions, so just submit when you can.
Like I Do
The Less I Know the Better
No One Knows
Come As You Are
L.O.V.E Me
Nightride
My Own Monster
The Fix
False God
Do I Wanna Know?
IDGAF
Kids
Shut Up and Dance With Me
Commander
Rule of Nines
Radioactive
Young Dumb & Broke
Free Choice Rankings:
Mid Years - up for elimination
Human
Straight Up
Sister
This Mountain
Alibi (Under the Starlight)
Watching You
In the End - up for elimination
Let’s Be Friends
Wildest Dreams
Carnivore
There is a Light That Never Goes Out
Red Flag
Teenage Dream
Where Is My Mind
If We Ever Meet Again
