Before we start, I just want to say that this was very a fun round, and there were no bad songs. Keep that in mind for the rankings, because I genuinely enjoyed every song in some fashion.
Thanks again to Braden for taking the time to guest judge. He enjoyed it so much he ended up writing comments for every song. Since I agree with a lot of his takes, I'll forgo my comments and get straight to Braden's thoughts.
Hi everyone! Very excited to judge this round, I see only a few modern entries so I’m hoping y’all at least picked good classics :))
Kill the Lights - I expected this song to be submitted and am fully okay with that :) This is a bop even if the club remix is objectively better, I love the use of the triangle and feel it isn’t used enough in music, Alex Newell is just an absolute QUEEEEEEN whose energy can’t be matched and was so needed for whoever put out this bop :) Loved this!
Funkytown - Love the harmonies, the beat (is that a cowbell?? Lovesssss if it’s a cowbell) is so fierce. I think it’s good, just not very interesting tbh and the length reallyyyyyy doesn’t help. After awhile it all starts to blend together
Kissing Strangers - BAWPPPPPPP I can’t tell if this is pandering or not because this has been on my top five most played songs for the past few months or so. I don’t even know what it is about this song tbh. It’s just such a bop, it’s just the truth that lesbians making songs about lesbians >>>>>> disco inspired pop at its best I love this :)
Kiss of Life - BAWPPPPPPPPP GET IT JESSIE GET IT KYLIE this is sooooooooo hot. The choir effect is great, their voices sound great and I just love the rhythm and tempo, it made me feel like I was supposed to dance to this all night :)
Young Hearts Run Free - It’s solid! It’s got a good beat! It’s a little forgettable? It needed a moment tbh but it was fine.
I Feel Love - YESSSSSSSSS This bop is so underrated in her discography, this servesssss I love this beat and is so ethereal, I honestly believe after hearing that you genuinely love this song which after *some* of the entries is refreshing and great to see and it shows, you made an awesome pick! :) However…same critique that boy does this drag after awhile. I know it’s cuz disco is like club/house music at its core but I’m not at the club rn so idc.
Super Freak - I know it’s a classic and stuff but God do I not like his voice. I like that this is, at its core, disco inspired 80s music, which is a new and honestly really fun interpretation I haven’t seen so far yet (I mean, who doesn’t love 80s music?) but like…this is fine. “Cant Touch This” was better.
Fantasy - Yessssss funky. Love that you didn’t just submit their most listened to song tbh. This bass thumps and grooves so well here.
Voulez-Vous - THESE ARE THE DANCE BOPS I WANTED YESSSSSS ugh these VOCALS kill me, I love that you picked a song that may not have been their biggest bop but most embraced disco here. The DRAMATICS are everything I needed and I absolutely LIVED for this pick :)
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough - …does this count? I’m gonna start off with the bad news: I don’t count this as disco. This is, unfortunately, Motown. And when I think of Motown I think of Barry Gordy putting the Supremes in fluffy blue dresses to sing for Ed Sullivan, meanwhile, disco is supposed to evoke images of now Supreme-less Diana Ross snorting coke off a wobbly table at Studio 54 with Cher. And those are two completely different feelings involved with these images, unfortunately. Now, the song is good, I mean it’s a classic, but it’s giving elementary school choir recital. Like, it’s cute, but I wanted excitement from guest judging this round and this, unfortunately, didn’t give it to me :/
September - Cool. Bop. Objectively it can’t not be a bop, it’s played every September 21st by the girls who think they’re quirky for listening to a single disco song. This, like the song before, also gives very elementary school choir recital. Like it’s cute, but disco is supposed to be EXCITING and full of life and I think by picking the most mainstream and kinda generic song for this category I feel like this song has lost its freshness and “full of life” feeling.
Gamesofluck - So this is the legitimately only song I hadn’t heard before in this lineup and this SERVEDDDDDD AHHHHHHH THAT SYNTH AND BASS omg I live. This feels so fresh tbh and feels indicative of the modern take the music scene is putting onto disco now. It’s a little weird and experimental but that’s what makes disco disco, I love this I wish I was a stoner cuz I’d be losing my MIND to this high.
We Are Family - I’m so sorry but this song has also been ruined by how overplayed it is. I gave the critiques to two of the songs prior that their songs were giving elementary school choir recital and what other way to round out those submissions than the song that plays as all the parents leave the auditorium? It’s objectively great, I forget how funky and good that bass is, but it’s just so played I don’t feel any excitement from it anymore.
I Wanna Be Your Lover - I love that Prince is here, even if he was not the umm best person he was such a musical genius. This song is just good vibes all around how can you not love this song? I could’ve used a minute less of the instrumental? But overall it bops :)
Anyways, thanks y’all for having me!!! Stream “Children” by Billy Porter :)
You are safe and moving to the next round. Congrats!
Sorry BBlover96, you have been eliminated. Jayson, you may have been the victim this round, but it was a pleasure having you. While your Phineas and Ferb song was cute, it just wasn't enough to put you through. We also must continue without Maxi1234 and CarolinaSteele who both did not submit in time. You have all been great contestants. Thank you all for playing <333
Round 6 Theme: The Midas Touch
Some of you may be familiar with the story of King Midas, the king who wished that everything he touched turned to gold. Like King Midas, some artists are so good that every track they appear in becomes gold. This round, the challenge is to submit a song with a featured artist that outshines the main artist. I want to hear a song that is gold because the featured artist is so good.
Reminder to also submit a free choice song! And if there are any questions or confusion behind the theme, please feel free to ask me. As always, I'll send out reminders before closing submissions. Good luck everyone!
Overall (avg score):
Kissing Strangers (2)
Voulez-Vous (2.5)
Kiss of Life (3.5)
Kill the Lights (5)
Fantasy (6.5)
Young Hearts Run Free (7)
September (7.5)
Gamesofluck (7.5)
I Feel Love (8)
I Wanna Be Your Lover (8.5)
Superfreak (10)
Funkytown (11)
We Are Family (12)
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough (14)
Tim's Ranking:
Kissing Strangers
Young Hearts Run Free
Voulez-Vous
September
Kill the Lights
Kiss of Life
Fantasy
Gamesofluck
I Wanna Be Your Lover
Superfreak
We Are Family
I Feel Love
Funkytown
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough
Braden's Ranking:
Kiss of Life
Voulez-Vous
Kissing Strangers
I Feel Love
Kill the Lights
Fantasy
Gamesofluck
I Wanna Be Your Lover
Funkytown
SuperFreak
September
Young Hearts Run Free
We Are Family
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough
Free Choice Ranking:
Hot Stuff
Caution
Baby Blue
Million Dollar Bill
Red Eyes
Mood Ring
Fallin
Holy
Happy Endings
Blame it on the Kids
Can’t Let It Show - up for elimination
Lost Kitten
Disco Miniature Golfing Queen - up for elimination
El Tejano
Okay my Midas touch submission is Kanye west Monster, with Nicki Minaj obv being the feature that outshines the others. Not posting link cuz I can’t find a clean version:/
Theme: Get on Your Knees - Nicki Minaj ft. Ariana Grande (as amazing as Nicki is on this song, Ari's vocals, hooks and harmonies dominate the song and the production fits her voice well) https://youtu.be/6RAFvLSRieg
