I'll keep this PG-13 though. But it should be fun!
#Singsongers - Your username is a lie. You can't sing, like, at all. Not even alone with your cat, and at birthday parties, you always excuse yourself to go to the restroom before people start singing Happy Birthday so you don't embarrass yourself.
#tycoon1234 - You have 6 toes on one foot, and 4 on the other. None of the men you've dated have ever seen you without socks.
#Jaxon - You're a world class tic tac toe player. Like you have traveled around the world for championships. You see X and O every time you close your eyes.
#Midiaw - You've never even BEEN to France, you were actually born here in the US and only pretend you grew up in Paris to sound cool.
#Lynn12 - That cute cat you sometimes post pics of isn't yours. She is a cat instagram model. You wanted us to think you were cool, so you pretended to have a beautiful cat, and now you are in too deep to tell the truth.
#KrisStory - You've been working on a memoir for years. It details both your wild teenage years, and your 87 stars attempts, and it's actually called KrisStory.
#pinkiepie512 - You're a woman. All of your claims of being a man were in fact lies, and you are a reverse gender faker, times two. A female pretending to be a male, pretending to be a female.
#PaulaDeen - Everyone thinks you're named after the southern lady who likes butter, but your name actually is Paul Deen. You wanted some anonymity when you made your account, so you made it Paula, not even realizing there was a well known person named that. Awk.
#iiGalaxyii - You're not real. Your account is actually a shared multi for your entire friendgroup. You have the privilege of being every member of privilege <3
#Allison - You're working on developing an app, called OnlyPets, where people pay to subscribe to the instagrams and twitters of really cut pets. You'll probably be a billionaire.
#Yawnha - You can't swim. All your blogs where you claim you're going to swim practice are actually lies, you're actually attending boy scout meetings, but you think swimming sounds cooler.
#_Matt - You're actually a famous Brazilian underwear model. But between shoots you grace us with your presence here. Obrigado.
#3pi14159 - You hate math. You failed algebra and calculus. But you want so badly to be a cool mathlete, so you try to live it out online. You had to google what pi even was before making your username!
#Jessie_ - You secretly have a wife and 3 children, but like to play a flirty gay alter ego online. Busted.
#CarolinaSteele - You're an up and coming underground female rapper, and Carolina Steele is your stage name for that.
#sosyomomma - You're single now, but up until last year you were dating 5 people at once, all of whom had no idea the others existed. Very risque.
#ahea7561 - You're not actually diabetic, you just wanted to sound cool. There is a high demand for hot diabetic men, and you wanted to enter that world as an eligible bachelor.
#islandman22 - You're a compulsive grape eater and thief. Every time you enter a grocery store, when no one else is in the produce aisle, you steal a couple grapes out of each bunch and eat them. You even have a little notebook where you tally how many grapes you have swiped over time. You're hoping to hit one million.
#joey65409 - You're super strong and can bench press 300, but you don't like to tell people, because they never believe you and ask you to prove it, and it's not like you walk around with all of the bench equipment!
#varlto - You live on a cat ranch. You have a giant ranch-style house, and 200 acres of property, and there are just so many cats everywhere. You're thinking of converting one of the barns into a themed Airb BnB.
KingB24 - You collect the paper crowns from every trip to Burger King you've made in your life. Your count is currently 247.
hellocat - You once won a spaghetti eating contest. You ate 3 pounds of pasta in one sitting, with 17 meatballs.
captainzacsparrow - You have psychic powers. You can't control them, they just sort of come and go, but you will get very vivid premonitions.
tbrown_47 - Today is your 47th birthday. Happy birthday, Tim. You look AMAZING.
Marilise - You keep a Burn Book where you write the secrets of every single person you have ever met. It's currently 34568 pages long.
CocoVanderbilt - You make your own wine. You have a small vineyard, and you're experimenting with different flavor combinations. Your favorite is blackberry.
Treeko - You own 17 pet lizards, all named after Pokemons.
Answerable - You were a professional tap dancer as a child. You were sabotaged at a dance off, someone tampered with your shoes backstage, causing you to slip and slide your way into second place.
rowjone - You know for a FACT the Loch Ness monster is real. You've even met her several times, distant relative. You're not 100% human, but you do a really good job of hiding it most of the time.
Ciurrra - You and your cat have a psychic connection. You can turn your brain to autopilot and then tune into your cat's brain instead and see the world through her eyes.
JonoB - Despite being from another country, you are fascinated by American coins. You have a jar with 4327 pennies under your bed. Hoping to expand the collection before the penny gets discontinued.
stanleyhouseseven - You have 6 siblings, you're the seventh child in your family, and you all have nicknames after the 7 dwarves. Yours is Dopey!
FromAWindow - You've never even BEEN to a Starbucks. You said you worked there as a joke once, but people seemed interested, and so you built your fake job into being your entire personality trait. You don't even like coffee!
PureEssence - You have been working on releasing your own brand of makeup, which you are hoping to release on Etsy, under the name Ess.
BengalBoy - Your first encounter with a woman was actually three at the same time, and you kept them all happy like a good lad, innit.
Jujubee - Your rainbow avatar matches your look in real life as well, you have rainbow dyed hair, wear rainbow makeup, and striped rainbow sweaters. It's beautiful.
Kiara_xoxo - Everyone assumes the xoxo in your username is just being cutesy and sassy, but your middle name actually IS xoxo. Causes a lot of trouble when you have to put your full name on forms, because people think you're trolling!
MmabatlokoaMolefe - You are embarrassed to admit it because she is so disliked, but your favorite BB player of all time is Christmas, because you're both named after holidays.
Cheeseman2468 - You have been designing a retro style video game called Cheeseman, which is a sequel to Pacman. A wheel of cheese eats other little cheese pieces.
Olympia - Many of your think-piece blogs are actually excerpts for the book of essays you are working on, covering hot takes on popular culture.
liamwd18 - When you were a child you saved your used bubblegum and pieced them all together to make a ball. It was almost as large as a basketball before you got caught and your family made you get rid of it.
ParvatiS - You collect Barbie doll shoes. Not the dolls themselves or the rest of their outfits, just the shoes. You have a mini closet for them, which currently holds 412 pairs.
wheatbread - You grew up eating only whitebread, and did not try wheat until you were 17. You loved it! So much it became your new favorite food, and a slightly unhealthy obsession. You promptly abandoned your old tengaged account to create a new one, named after your new passion in life. You hope to someday open a bakery devoted entirely to wheatbread.
charrison790564 - You're an aspiring special effects makeup artist! Your specialty is weird noses.
spikedcurley - Time warp. You're simultaneously living in 2021 and 2005. You've been 22 for the last 16 years!
Crocadilly - You have a collection of Crocs shoes. A pair in every color!
Maxi1234 - You've been giving yourself at home perms in the bathrooom since age 13 <3
