HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BOO!!!! I love you so much. You've quickly become one of my best friends, not just on Tengaged, but in the whole world. I love our private calls while I drive to/from work, listening to music together for hours & watching each other play silly games on screenshare.
You've been there for me through some of the really rough times I had while off of the website & I'm forever grateful for all the times you listened to me vent, gave me advice & helped me in any way that you knew how to. You're the person that I know I can reach out to no matter what & you won't judge me.
I'm so thankful to have someone like you in my life. I can be myself unapologetically around you & you show me that you love me even more when I do. You're the best girl that a guy could ask for to be his partner in crime. Never ever change.
I love you & I hope you have an amazing birthday, Ess. ❤️
AND NOWWWWWWWWW for some messages from some other people that wanted to wish you a happy birthday on your special day :)
SmoothStalker12 - Happy birthday essence! Crazy to think I have known you since the pink hair days, oh how times have changed. I hope you have a wonderful year and you continue to test negative for covid and for the baby. Lots of love!
brightongal - Happy birthday ess! I hope you have an amazing birthday and get spoiled. Love ya unproblematic queen!
SAWCHUK55 - Ess! We used to talk for hours about everything and anything! Even though we don't talk as much you are easily one of my favorite women on tengaged. Your so smart pure and beautiful!!! Have the best day ever . Love you so much
Bluejay7622 - Happy birthday Ess!! I have really enjoyed getting to know this year and you truly are one of the sweetest human beings ❤️ You deserve the world and I hope you have an amazing day. I can't wait to celebrate when you come visit toronto hehe!!
Thumper91 - Happy birthday esss you have grown up so much since I’ve known you and you’re always such a sweetheart I hope you have the best day ever bc you so truly deserve it ❤️
Tyler93 - I don't know WHAT the girl word for zaddy would be, but yeah!!! Happy birthday ess! Don't be lame today. Represent us Canadians and do something different and fun tonight!
AmandaBynes - Happy birthday to the Essence of my life! You are so pure in every being of your soul. Thank you so much for being you & never forget that you will always be more beautiful, funny, sophisticated, brave, adventurous, comedic, star like, cheerful, compassionate, ambitious, empathetic, generous, authentic, empowering, fearless, gracious, intelligent, jolly, loyal, motivational & opulent than brookie_cookie. All the best on your day & remember to shine shine shine ✨ AmandaBynes
peace123 - We dont talk too much ess but i think ur beau and always putting out great energy!! I hope u have the best birthday a gal can ask for 😊 u deserve it!!
_Matt - OMFG ESS HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 💝 ilysm hope u had and amazing day! _ 🎉🥰
Jessie_ - Happy birthday! All the best to you. Enjoy your day
sosyomomma - Omg my little sister, I've seen you grow up on this site ( God were old now) and you've become such an amazing, smart person. You're always with a positive and nice attitude to all and really deserve the best in life.
teamclay - Ess our only interaction was from the Essentials and during my time in there you were absolutely one of the best people I have ever met. You’re so kind and so sweet, you’re honestly too pure for this cruel world. I love you girlie 💙 live it up and don’t party too hard haha
Colter - Don’t know you all too well, but happy birthday girlie ❤️
ConstanceMarie - We don't know each other much at all, but I know of how beautiful and amazing you are toward others. I hope your birthday is a great one and hope to become friends, Ess!
iiGalaxyii - happy birthday ess!!! tysm for being one of my best friends on this site and always being there for me and all ur friends. ur a joy to be around, and anyone that has u in their life should be GRATEFUL. i’ve had my WEAKEST moments on and off this site and you’ve known what to say each and every time to make me feel better. i really lucked out finding someone on this website that has IDENTICAL tastes as me in music, shows, just EVERYTHING. ur hot, smart, and just perfect. u deserve the entire 🌍 and i hope u have a GREAT day, ily 🤍
turkeylover - happy birthday ess!!! you’re so nice and very pretty, i kinda hate you!! but you’re just lovely person all around, hope you have a great bday bestie!!!
iSandeh - happy birthday ess!!! tysm for being one of my best friends on this site and always being there for me and all ur friends. ur a joy to be around, and anyone that has u in their life should be grateful. i’ve had my weakest moments on and off this site and you’ve known what to say each and every time to make me feel better. i really lucked out finding someone on this website that has identical tastes as me in music, shows, just everything. ur hot, smart, and just perfect. u deserve the entire and i hope u have a great day, ily 😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
A picture of me in boxer briefs where I'm literally flaccid & standing far away from my mirror makes this website "unsafe." I'm tired of this topic & I wasn't going to address it any further, but do not group me in with a list of things that are dangerous to this website.
I was one of the main people speaking up against the KNOWN pedophiles (#Tigger, #Imthtawesom, #RoboZoe & others) that were still lurking on this website just MONTHS AGO. I got endless backlash, countless hate blogs made about me & dozens of people calling me a liar when I shared my experiences, even when met with screenshots/proof. I never saw the people who are coming at my weight loss picture come to my defense to "protect the website's minors."
I can understand where people are coming from. Could I have thrown on a pair of shorts? Sure. In my mind, it's a picture showing my weight loss progress & honestly I don't think it's revealing AT ALL. Nothing about that picture is UNSAFE & calling it that is extremely disheartening.
To the people who have a lot to say about the safety of minors on Tengaged, just think back to the last time you got involved in something to help the community as opposed to snagging a quick top blog & some clout. You guys hopped on a bandwagon for 0.5 T$ while simultaneously trying to tear someone down & turn what should've been an extremely positive blog into an unnecessary scandal. I hope some of you reflect on your actions & realize how dangerous what you're doing really is.
(ya idk why the pic is huge but whatever)
This morning I officially hit my next major milestone in my weight loss journey which was to lose 50 pounds!! I started trying to lose weight back in August, but never thought that I could really get back to a healthy weight in such a short amount of time. I still want to lose a few more pounds, but I'm so proud of how far I've come.
So many people on here have been so supportive of my journey, so I wanted to share me OFFICIALLY hitting this milestone with y'all!! Love you guys =)
It's been a few months since I decided to take a much-needed break from Tengaged. I wasn't sure how long it would be until I logged back on, but here I am I guess! Since I was last on here, so much in my life has changed.
Not only did I move out to live on my own, I moved 11 hours away from my home state of Massachusetts to West Virginia. Now, I live across the street from eliserose & her fiancé, who helped me immensely when I was moving out here & are two of my absolute best friends out here.
I've also lost almost 50 pounds since this summer when I decided to really try and get my body back in check. I'm still looking to lose about 20 more by my birthday in March, which is super attainable as long as I stay consistent with my diet & exercise plans!
I'm only 21 & I feel like I've made huge changes in my life that I didn't expect to have to be making for a few more years, but I'm so happy & proud of myself for where I'm at. And now here I am! I don't really know how active I'll be, but I've taken some time to get settled into my new life & I'm ready to jump back into the action!
I'm looking forward to reconnecting with friends that I lost touch with since I left & hopefully mending some fences that may have been broken from stupid shit that didn't matter. Either way, I'm excited to be back on Tengaged for the time being! Hopefully I don't regret this (:
Is looking really weird claiming that I typed up a blog about something extremely personal while I was having a really hard night for... Stars support...?
It's a pretty disgusting claim to make & it was brought up completely unprovoked for no real reason other than to try to hurt my feelings. Mexash tried to delete the message, but luckily Sam_Hamwich took the above screenshot before it was deleted.
It's just really weird because I know you ran around saying this other people INSIDE & OUTSIDE of the Stars game. I don't know what I did to you, but I've never spoken to you before & I will never speak to you again.
This blog may be long, I don't really know, I'm just going to type & see where it goes because I need to get this off my chest. If you're going to be triggered by recollections of child abuse, stop reading now.
The past 10 days have been incredibly hard for me. Some of my close friends know what's been going on, some were even there for me on call when it all started. 10 days ago I had to call the police on my mom & stepdad for abusing my 10 year old sister (we have the same mom, different dad, but I'll consistently just refer to her as my sister). My sister texted me from my brother's phone, who also still lives at home, and told me that she was hiding in the basement scared to leave because her parents have been hitting her. She told me she was scared to fall asleep because she didn't know what would happen in the morning. I talked to her for over 2 hours before calling the police.
This was apparently the 4th incident in recent times of my sister's parents attempting to or actually hitting my sister. My mom had hit her once for taking too long to get ready, my stepdad had slapped her across the face for saying "okay" with an attitude, my stepdad (who is her softball coach) also grabbed her by her helmet's face mask and dragged her by it and then this day he had tried to hit her, but she moved out of the way in time and ran away so he couldn't hit her. These are all my sister's personal recollections.
I have 6 siblings, I'm the exact middle child of all 7 of us. When we were growing up, I was abused. I have an older sister and she got the brunt of the abuse. Her & I were best friends as kids because I was the gay brother & she was my only sister. We did everything together, so when she would get hit, I would stand up for her and try to help, which would just lead to me being hit as well.
My older sister left when I was 11 and I actually just saw her for the first time since then earlier this year. After she left, I got abused the worst. I'm talking locked outside barefoot and being forced to walk to my dad's house, being thrown through doors, being forced to the ground and kicked by both my mom & my stepdad at the same time and screaming for help. They told me nobody would hear my calls for help and even if they did, they wouldn't care. Those are just a few of the worse events that I can remember vividly.
When my sister told me that she had been getting hit, I was in shock. My siblings never thought that they would start hitting my sister because she's 10+ years younger than all of us and was my mom/stepdad's miracle baby. I never thought the same, abusers don't change. It's mostly my mom getting upset with her for dumb reasons & then my stepdad taking it to the next level by threatening her (i.e. he threatened to "knock her teeth out" recently too). However, this is the first time that I'm being told it's getting physical.
I'm extremely scared for my sister because I know what my mom & stepdad are capable of. They abuse, then gaslight and make you think that you're the reason you got hit. I struggled with this for a long time through my teen years. It's the main point where my anxiety/self-doubt stems from, trying to beg teachers, counselors, therapists, police officers for help and nobody listening to me or any of my other siblings.
Unfortunately, I'm really the only one of my adult siblings (all but my younger sister) that turned out semi-okay. Two of them have kids, none of them have real jobs and none of them are in school pursuing careers. Not to knock on my siblings too much, but I'm scared that my younger sister won't turn out okay because a track record of 1/6 doesn't look good.
My sister has been staying at my house with my grandma and I since last Tuesday night, but my grandma is honestly horrible. She's my mom's mother & she's very susceptible to my mom's gaslighting/manipulation tactics. She's turned some random little thing into a huge argument with my sister every single day that she's been here without fail. I've had to step in a few times too to defend my sister, like tonight when my grandma started throwing chairs because my sister was "taking too long on her iPad." My sister told me that triggered her because "that's what her dad will usually do."
My family is fucked up. White trash. Bottom of the barrel. Unfortunately, the systems we have in place to protect & help victims of child abuse are broken. There's already been a social worker that's come to our house and had already talked to my mom/stepdad, then talked to my sister, then to me. As soon as she started talking to me, she questioned my motives, asking if I was only getting involved because of my current court case with my stepdad (I have a restraining order against him & he has a criminal case going on for domestic assault & battery).
The social worker told me that there's no reason my sister shouldn't be at home right now & asked me to encourage her to start thinking about going home. I replied that my sister has made it clear that her parents are hitting her & she feels unsafe going home, so until that changes I will not encourage her to do anything. I told the social worker that all of my siblings & I were hit growing up, to which she typed something on her Chromebook & said "yup." She clearly didn't care about anything but taking the easy route by letting my sister go home to her abusers.
I don't know where to go from here. I feel powerless in this situation & I feel like I'm the only one that's been willing to grow a pair of balls and stand up for my little sister. None of my other siblings will openly get involved & my other family members don't think it's their place to step in.
I'm lost. I'm sad. I'm angry. All I want is for my sister to be safe. She doesn't deserve to go through what I had to go through my entire childhood. I'm scared that I'll never see her again, just like with what happened with my older sister & that she's going to be stuck with nowhere to go.
I don't know if I need advice or just needed to rant and type this up, but it's been a LOT lately. This has brought up so many old emotions for me that I thought I had processed, but rehashing my entire abuse story to my sister's therapist, social worker, police officers, has been extremely taxing on my psyche. It's not something I enjoy talking about, but it's something that needs to be shared for the betterment of my sister.
I'm doing the best that I can with the current cards that are in my hand, so I can say that proudly and know that no matter what happens, I did everything I could to protect my sister. I love her more than anything & I just pray to whatever god or higher power is out there that she turns out okay at the end of all of this, even if I can't be involved in her life.
PureEssence
