In honor of Han Jin's search for a new BFF, I am like, ADOPTING A KITTEN!!!
LIKE THIS IS MY KITTEN!!
Her name is LOSYL!! She is named after the cleaning product because like I LOVE TO CLEAN!! I like, named her LOSYL because it's LYSOL spelled backwards and like its really exotic if I spell it backwards versus forwards, like I am all about throwing in a little MYSTERY like such as you know, like sometimes I put on trench coats and walk around with a magnifying glass and like, sexy pose and stuff like that so yeah like LOSYL is her name and she is like MEGA MEGA presh, like I can't even begin to tell you how like, super presh she is like SO precious, like can't even.
Like we have to buy stuff next for our cat but like honestly like, if you want a cat $100USD is just simply like NOT enough, you know?? SO LIKE I went to the drugstore and bought lottery tickets, like 100 dollars with, and won like a TON OF MONEY like so much, so like I bought myself some cute dresses and like bras but then I went to BED BATH AND BEYOND to look for furniture. Like a pet is truly like a part of the family and like for ser therefore deserves like a little glitz and glam, you know? I SO KNOW YOU KNOW!! LIKE OMG so in my spare time I do a little INTERIOR DESIGN with like my Mom and stuff, it's like, kind of like, a business like we are for ser partners and like I help people make their houses and stuff pretty like I SO do like I am the design queen, like hear me roar ya know? SO LIKE I just like thought to myself SINCE I LIVE IN A SUPER EXPENSIVE CONDO IN WEST PALM BEACH like thanks so much for asking, like I AM JUST going to like let my cat have her own ROOM, so here is the room I designed for LOSYL!
LIKE AS YOU CAN see its like TOTALLY a pink palace like I for ser like, can't even begin to describe how pink and fabulous it is so like I WILL TRY THOUGH! Like, its SO pink and fabulous like I am almost gasming at all like the pink and stuff and the room gives off a very like PRINCESSY feel and like that bed is obvi hers and has silk sheets like HELLO? I can't make Losyl sleep on sheets that are NOT silk, like what kind of cat owner would I like, BE? LIKE NOT A GOOD ONE EL OH EL!! SO LIKE
MY NEXT STOP WAS FOOD!! Now I don't eat catfood so like HELLO?? Neither can my kitty cat, like cat food is definitely of the forser DISGUSTING variety like I just like, don't eat catfood like I sometimes you know like tuna, but only if its like caught fresh and then made into sushi or something because I like LOVE sushi, like its asian and fishy and like, I feel like, SO retro when I'm eating it because like it's like HEEEY I am eating SUSHI like I'm so LOS ANGELESlike, its totes awesome like I am like SO hip when I consume raw fish. SO LIKE if I like raw fish, WHY NOT MY CAT?? So I am hiring her a SUSHI CHEF!! Like this chef will live with me and like he will be SUPER sexy and hot to look at but like, you know like, I totally can't have sex with him because you know what they say about asians, like, WEE WEE PEE PEE amirite or amirite. IM SO RIGHT!! Its like, one of those little sausage things they have in those cans that you can eat, like those mini weiners like I DEFINITELY prefer something with a little more force, thats why I really like Scandanavians.
LIKE THIS IS SO COOL OF ME because like its SENSORY UPDATED so like, whenever Losyl goes over she can just be like OMG HEY CAT FEEDER like IM STARVING like ME-YOW!! Like and it will so feed her, like this is the way to go.
Like of COURSE all of her accesories will be DIAMOND STUDDED WITH DIAMONDS OF THE REAL VARIETY, LIKE DUH!! Like IMAGINE she went to use the litter box in FAKE DIAMONDS? No no, like not happening.
THIS COLLAR has like EMERALDS and DIAMONDS, and thats like a LOT of jewels so like, Losyl is definitely going to like ADORE wearing this and like ME-YOW, ME-YOW BLING BLING LIKE EL OH EL!! OMG!! Like I just LOVE to BLING like one time I went to this super cool nightclub and I had on a diamond necklace and I went up to all the PIMPS and HOS [Holds up peace sign] AND WAS LIKE OH MY GOD CHECK MY BLAAAAAANG and then they just looked at me like I was on cocaine but like they TOTALLY THOUGHT I WAS SUPER COOL!!
Okay here is my LITTER BOX like let me just take time to tell you all that like litter is SUPER bad for the environment like we do NOT need yoru used cans and like garbage and everything like such as spread out over the highway like that is SO unenvironmental like it actually makes me want to cry because like I ADORE nature like its so naturfull and like I just like, love it, you know? So like, don't litter or else you are going to be condemned to live with like illegal immigrants in hell, okay? so like, watch it.
AND I LIKE LOVE cleaning cat poop like its like digging for buried treasure so I am DEF looking forward to sweeping her terds.
LIKE THATS SO IT!! Like thanks SO much for reading my manual like, I totes appreciate helping like as MANY people as I can becaus elike I'm just a helper who like, enjoys doing stuff that like is of the aids well like not AIDS because like then you DIE and stuff and like seriously, people all over our world are like seriously affected by AIDS, like it's really baaaaad. So like I don't know what you want to do but like always wear protection and like, for real guys like, never stick drug needles in your arms like snorting is SO much easier like you don't need those needles
OKAY LOVE YOU ALL!!
Comments
WOW! You are so dedicated! This is like BFF potential!
LIKE OH MY OF THE GOD!!
