Inky's blog

The Inky's blog

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WINNER #61 - OWEN (TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND) Feb 12, 2013: Let me touch on two things.

Technically, yes, this isn't a reality show, it's a cartoon. However a) it's a cartoon OF a reality show, so I'm including it because it covers all bases and b) I need list padding and filler for the list.

And technically, yes, Gwen could also be considered the winner. However, I am Australian, and Owen's win aired over here. While the ending where Gwen wins is one of my favourites ever? Owen winning is what aired on television. I love Gwen, but unfortunately she's a runner-up.

Now, onto Owen - Owen is a parody of Richard Hatch's archetype. Fat. Kinda obnoxious. Gay.

Oh, and the most annoying cartoon character on the face of the planet.

Because the animators/writers/everyone on the writing staff loves the guy. They can't get enough of him. If he's voted off, they'll just bring him back in a few episodes with some half-ass explanation. If he is voted out, there needs to be some several-minute long dedications to how everyone loved him and didn't want him to go. Now I'm all for that, if you are a good likeable character. But Owen was not. He was obnoxious, loud, unfunny, and nearly everything he said appealed to the lowest common denominator. Other characters in the series may have been well-written and likeable and had good stories, but Owen needs to win because he's "funny" apparently. Screw a surprisingly in-depth story of personal growth, we need the fat guy to make fart jokes! Because that's funny.

I was not a fan of Owen. I'm never going to be a fan of Owen, because I loath him with every inch of my being. To this day I wish Gwen's win had aired here so I could mentally refer to her as the winner instead of Owen.

#61. Owen (Total Drama Island)
#62. Eric & Danielle (The Amazing Race All-Stars)
#63. Freddy & Kendra (The Amazing Race 6)

Number 60 is from a season filled with twists.; Points: 15 2 comments
WINNER #62 - ERIC & DANIELLE (THE AMAZING RACE) Feb 12, 2013: The Amazing Race All-Stars is easily the best CBS All-Star season out of their big three reality shows. Survivor ended with so many personal relationships destroyed and feelings hurt, Big Brother had the same. The Amazing Race had no chance of that, what with being the 11th season and all and only like 2 teams being from the same season racing together. But it still got afflicted with the same curse that all All-Star seasons must have.

The shitty wtf winner.

The thing that make Eric and Danielle unique is that they never raced together before The Amazing Race All-Stars. They both raced in Season 9 (a highly underrated season) on seperate teams. Eric was with his original partner Jeremy, where they came in second place, whilst Danielle was with her partner Dani, where they placed a distant 8th. But the producers wanted a "Frankenteam" of sorts, a teammate from two seperate teams working together because of relationships forged over the course of a season. Their first choice, Flo and Drew from Season 3, declined, because Flo didn't want to race without Zach aka one of the best Amazing Race contestants ever. So who else was there? Well, the producers hadn't cast a team from Season 9 yet. And Eric once slept with Danielle. So despite having a girlfriend, he was cast with Danielle for All-Stars.

Now let's just look at this. Danielle is about as far away from an All-Star as you can get. She was a terrible racer, whined about every little thing even before All-Stars, and she only made it a few rounds in. She never placed higher than 7th before being unceremoniously Yielded out of the race. Is that what qualifies as All-Star material? Really?

Now here's the thing - I watched All-Stars recently, and I don't have anything bad to say about Eric. He's quite the underrated character in fact. But unfortunately, his win was furiating just because it meant Danielle had to win. And if he won, and Danielle won, do you know who didn't win?

Well for starters, Dustin and Kandice. Coming back from a stint in Season 10 where they pulled off stupid boneheaded moves all season and made everybody in the cast hate them (although the audience ate that shit up), they went on to play perhaps the first flawless game of The Amazing Race at that point in the series. They were so far ahead of the pack at some points there needed to be 12-hour equalizers just to let another team catch up. They are, to this day, the strongest female team to ever race, with racing records that remain unmatched by a female team.

Oh, and that's not even getting into Charla & Mirna. To those who are unfamiliar with The Amazing Race, but familiar with Survivor, let me put it this way - Charla and Mirna are basically Coach, but female. They're naturally larger than life characters, and turn any scene they're in into comedic gold. They feuded with everyone, but they (mainly Mirna) were relentless in their strategy of scraping and clawing their way through the race by getting every opportunity available. They would not stop until they got on flights that would put them almost a day in front of other teams. They got locals to help them out in nearly every country. They were playing a kickass game (well Mirna was), and either them or the aforementioned Beauty Queens winning would have made All-Stars one of the indisputable Top 5 seasons.

But instead, Eric and Danielle. It's not so much the fact that I hate Eric or Danielle as racers (even if Danielle is particularly horrible), it's the fact that they beat out four other teams that would have made great winners. Not only Dustin & Kandice and Charla & Mirna, but Uchenna/Joyce were still as amazing as they were in Season 7 and would have made great two-time winners, and Oswald/Danny had so much more spirit in their second game that they would have made kickass winners as well. It just so happens that one of my least favourite teams won and beat out teams that would have made ten times better winners than Eric and Danielle were destined to be.

All-Stars is a great season. However, it is an All-Stars season. So naturally, the winner was always destined to be shitty.

#63. Freddy & Kendra (The Amazing Race 6)
#62. Eric & Danielle (The Amazing Race All-Stars)

Number 61 is from a show who's inclusion on this list is dubious at best.; Points: 15 6 comments
WINNER #63 - FREDDY & KENDRA (THE AMAZING RACE) Feb 12, 2013: It's hard to explain how frustrating a season of The Amazing Race can be just by its winners. But you need to look no further than Freddy and Kendra.

First of all, Season 6 is a shitty season. It had a shitty cast, shitty locations, shitty tasks, shitty everything. There was barely any hope to save it from being shitty. Why was the cast shitty? Because 7/11 of the teams were couples. And do you know what couples bring to the show? Bickering. Constant bickering. And subsequently, 6 of those 7 couples made the final 6. So do you know what the second half of the season was? NON-STOP FIGHTING AND BICKERING.

And Freddy and Kendra were the worst of them all. Not because they were horrible, no, but because they were offensive. And not just offensive, boring as well. How in the name of god's green earth does a team manage to be both offensive and boring at the same time? Hell if I know, but Freddy and Kendra did it. They fought constantly while remaining constantly uninteresting. They insulted nearly every country they went to (culminating in Kendra basically calling for the genocide of "Ghetto Africa" so they, in her words, would stop "breeding and breeding"). They got along with nobody, they got upset over everything, all the while managing to be the most boring team in a season of boring teams.

Who would I have wanted to see win over Freddy and Kendra? LITERALLY ANY OTHER TEAM IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. Well not to that extent, but every other team in the season would have made a better winner. Avi and Joe were likeable enough first boots. Meredith and Maria sucked beyond recognition at anything that involved movement or driving, but they were kind of plucky. Lena and Kristy were one of the most likeable female teams in the series. Don and Mary Jean were kind of rootworthy. Gus and Hera were also likeable. Jonathan and Victoria may have screamed and fought and physically assaulted each other, but they brought enough energy for seven teams. Lori and Bolo were a hoot. Hayden and Aaron were constantly entertaining and self-aware (and had the best boot episode ever). Adam and Rebecca would have been good for the lolz, and there wasn't a person on the face of the planet who wasn't cheering for Kris & Jon - I think they nearly topped the popularity poll records for the series at that point.

But no, the worst team had to go and win. A season with an awful start begat an awful end. The show about togetherness and experiencing other cultures had winners that went against everything the show was about. When the train cut out Kris and Jon from overtaking Freddy and Kendra at the finish line I almost smashed something I was so pissed.

I couldn't think of any winners that I hate more than these two if I tried.

#63. Freddy & Kendra (The Amazing Race 6)

Number 62 is from an All-Star season.; Points: 0 3 comments
Ranking the RTV Winners (That I've Seen) - Intro! Feb 12, 2013: So I've been working on this list for a while, a ranking of every reality television winner for the seasons that I've seen, when about halfway through I realized I didn't have anywhere to post it. Then I remembered while commenting on the best tengaged blog in the universe (< 3 zimdelinvasor < 3) that oh right, I have a Tengaged account. So I'm gonna post it here now. Because this place seems cool.

I have a total of 88 winners spread over 63 spots in this ranking, and I'll probably be adding winners if I happen to finish any reality show seasons in between now and the end. The winners included will be:

24 winners of Survivor (Sandra only being counted once)
21 winners of The Amazing Race
3 winners of Big Brother Australia
3 winners of Total Drama Island (YES THAT COUNTS)
2 winners of The Amazing Race Asia
2 winners of The Amazing Race Australia
2 winners of Australian Idol
2 winners of The Mole (any edition)
1 winner of The Voice Australia
1 winner of The Apprentice (any edition)
1 winner of Big Brother US
1 winner of Scream Queens

Alright, so let's get this going

Hint for the worst winners out of any reality show ever: they won in 2005.; Points: 5 1 comments
No title Feb 12, 2013: Points: 0 0 comments

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Inky's blog

The Inky's blog

1...171819 Posts 113 posts

1...17 18 19
Posts 113 posts