Last night I was eliminated from All Stars, and my boot lines up perfectly with another big event in my life regarding the series, so I feel it's time to finally open up about a very serious issue:
I've struggled on and off with an addiction to painkillers since I was in high school. At times I could go without, at times I needed them to get through the day. About a year ago I was at the worst place I've ever been with them, and given everything that was compounding at the time (depression, divorce, family issues, etc) it was easy to fall into it.
I only really opened up to 2 people about it at the time, Paige/ Oreo270 and Zach/ IceMakeRampart. Both stuck with me and tried to help as much as they could but it was watching back a tribal from YT Survivor season 5 that led me to see just how badly I was consumed by them. I got to see, directly reflected in the video, the toll they had taken on my mental state and how affected I was. I quit the next day and never looked back.
As of today, April 7th, I am 8 months clean.
Cut to present times, I was invited to All Stars, and though I felt undeserving of my spot I went in with 1 goal in mind: redemption. Not of the gameplay or anything but to prove to myself how much I've improved since then. And, looking on the season, I can say that I'm proud of myself and how far I've come since battling addiction. Nothing will wake you up quite like being able to see from a secondhand perspective just how messed up you are.
With that, my journey in this series comes to a close, but how it rescued me as a person is forever appreciated. Good luck to everyone remaining.
