HEY BITCHEZ ITS ME PARIS, IM GONNA RELEASE MY FOURTHHH AUTOBIOGRAPHY, AS YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW THE LAST FEW MONTHS HAS BEEN HELL FOR ME, I ACTUALLY LOST MY FAME AND FORTUNE BASICALLY PEOPLE FORGOT ABOUT ME AND I WASNT FAMOUS ANYMORE, I'VE ALWAYS WROTE MY BOOKS ABOUT WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE A STAR BUT MY NEW BOOK WILL BE ABOUT HOW LIFE WAS AFTER DA FAME, I WILL TALK ABOUT HOW I WOULD SIGN ON THE DOLE ON A TUESDAY MORNING AND GO FOR A MCMUFFIN LATER ON, ALSO I WILL TALK ABOUT HOW I HAD TO GET ME TAN FROM HOME BARGAINS AND CALL UP DA PAPPARAZZI AND TELL THEM I WAS LEAVING POUNDLAND AT 3 BUT NOBODY WOULD COME, I DECIDED TO MAKE A COMEBACK BUT I NEEDED A PLAN, PARIS HAD ALWAYS BEEN A BITCH SHE NEEDED TO SHOW SOME RESPECT SO SHE DECIDED TO HELP OUT AT THE LOCAL ANIMAL SHELTER BUT GOT SACKED BECAUSE THEY GOT ME TO WASH THE CATS BUT I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERENT COMPACTABLE WITH DA STAFF DISH WASHER INIT ALSO I WILL TALK ABOUT MY NEW CAREER AS A TV PRESENTER AND HOW IM IN TALKS WITH MY VERY OWN SHOW, I IZ GONNA BE THE NEXT OPRAH, IM GONNA HELP PEOPLE LIKE LARRY WHO IS GAY MAN BUT HASNT COME OUT TO HIS PARENTS WE'RE GONNA PAY FOR HIM TO HAVE A SEX CHANGE AND USE HIS MOTHER'S BANK CARD TO PAY FOR THE COSTS, I CANT WAIT :D
Its rednose day on friday hello!!!? trust that little bitch of a moderator to get it wrong ... take it off now please hunny had this nose for months now and we all know its because im black kthanxbye
Oh and while your at it give Bbdamien a brown nose cos' that bitch is always up someone elses arse!!
I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE INVITED TO THE TENGAGED NEWS AWARDS SO HERE I WILL GIVE YOU THE LOW DOWN ON WHAT HAPPENED, WHO WORE WHAT, ETC!
WHEN YOUR A CELEBRITY, YOU HAVE LISTS, A, B AND C WELL THE HIGHER THE LIST THE LATER YOU ARE, THE SHOW DIDNT START UNTIL ABOUT 10PM SO PARIS WAS THERE AT 6:30PM AND BECAUSE PARIS BE A BIG STAR SHE BE ON THE D LIST WHICH IS DE BEST LIST OF ALL, I WORE A VERY SLUTTY DRESS BY AMAZING DESIGNER CALLED PRIMARK WHO IS LIKE THE NEW GUCCI! THERE WAS ALOT OF CELEBRITIES THERE LIKE KESHA WHO IS A TOTAL SKANK, BRITNEY SPEARS WAS THERE AND AS MUCH AS PARIS LOVES BRITNEY SHE TOTALLY SEEMED ABIT HIGH AND ALSO SOME OF THE JERSEY SHORE CAST WERE THERE, I WENT IN THEN BECAUSE IT WAS REALLY COLD AND I GOT VODKA AND COKE ALL NIGHT THEN ME AND MY GURL FIONA89 WHO WAS MA DATE FOR THE NIGHT WENT TO THE TOILETS BECAUSE WE WANTED TO SCIZZOR BUT WE CAUGHT KESHA ON THE SINK HAVING A PISS BECAUSE ALL THE TOILETS WERE BEING ATTENDED THEN LINDSAY LOHAN WHO FUCKING HATES ME CAME ALL IN MY FACE LIKE ' WHAT DID YA SAY ABOUT ME IN UR BLOG YOUR FACKING SLUT ' AND AT THIS POINT I WAS SHITTING MA NICKERSSS!!!! DRUGGED UP BITCHES LIKE BE DANGEROUS THEN MARYKATE OLSEN CAME IN AND WAS LIKE ' OH LINDSAY, YOU GOT ANY COKE? ' AND AT THIS POINT I KINDA WISHED I BROUGHT MY GLASS OF COKE IN AT THAT POINT JUST SO I COULD FIT IN BECAUSE IF I GAVE IT TO HER I'D HAVE SOMEONE ON MA SIDE FROM THIS CRAZY BITCH WHO IS LINDSAY ANYWAY THE BITCHES GOT SOME SHERBET AND THEY STARTED STICKING UP THEIR NOSES, PERSONALLY I EAT MY SHERBET WITH A LOLLY BUT THESE BITCHES ARE HARDCORE, THEY STICK THINGS UP THEIR NOSES AND THEY DONT CARE THEN MARYKATE TOOK SOME PARASETIMOLS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND THEY WERE REALLY HAPPY TO SEE ME AND FIONA, WE BOTH HAD A WEE AND WENT BACK TO THE PARTY BECAUSE WE FELT LIKE LINDSAY MIGHT PREV ON US WITH HER LITTLE BEADY DYKE EYES IF WE DID SCIZZOR! EMINEM DID A SONG ON STAGE WHICH WAS PROPER GURD COS' RIHANNA CAME ON DA STAGE AND SANG TOO.
THAT WAS IT REALLY, OH AND YOUR NEVER GUESS WHAT?! I SAW EMMALEIGH WHEN I WENT TO THE BAR, I SMILED TO BE NICE BUT BITCH NEVER EVEN GAVE ME EYE CONTACT AND WALKED RIGHT PAST ME!!! MAGGIE WAS WITH HER AND THEY BOTH LOOKED AT ME WHILE WALKING AWAY SO AT THIS POINT I HAD A LITTLE TOO MANY VODKA AND COKES SO I SHOUTED BACK AT THEM SOMETHING LIKE ' OI YOU FUGLY CUNTS, AT LEAST SMILE BACK AT ME, YOU GOT LOOSE BEACON STRIPS FOR A VAGINA ' IT WAS QUITE A GOOD NIGHT REALLY, IT WAS FIONA AND I FIRST DATE TOGETHER SO WHO KNOWS IF WE WILL BE OFFICIAL OR NOT.
I WANT TO BE HER LESBAIN PARTNER BUT WITHOUT LOOKIN LIKE A UGLY FAT DYKE! IT MAY WORK FOR MAGGIE BUT FOR ME, ITS OFFENSIVE. WE COULD ADOPT LITTLE BABIES FROM CHINA AND NAME EACH ONE FROM THE JERSEY SHORE AND EAT LOTS OF KFC EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK! EXCEPT FRIDAY BECAUSE THAT BE MC DONALDS DAY.
day four...
PUBLIC EVICTION.
Ant and Dec walk into the main camp where both camps have now joined, Ant and Dec call out all the people staying and leaving two to be evicted...
Chris
Nadine
Jamie
Jenna
Lance
Paris
Leaving Aaron and Alicia to be evicted from their camps, camp rock and camp nigel are collapsed into one Camp...
Jenna- hey guys!
lance- its only me and Chris left out of the boys now haha
jamie- im shocked Alicia went, I thought the public would have put someone else out.
chris- who do you mean?
nadine- I dont know about your camp but we've had some heated arguments in our camp
chris- haha really? we've all got along, its early days still!
lance- I can guess who your on about.
paris- are you guys on about Nadine because if you are... I totally know what your saying!
nadine- shut it Paris, your getting on my nerves now.
paris- such a racist b***h
chris- who's racist?
nadine- paris likes to call anyone racist who she p***es off!
paris- im such a victim, I feel like f**king shilpa shetty!!!
jenna- here we go again!
lance- its obvious your only on here paris to p*** everyone off!
paris- im the only one here who's famous actually hunny, what have you done since going to the f**king moon?
nadine- thats lance armstong
paris- so who the f**k are you?
lance- who are you?
paris- im dame paris f**king travelodge! Chris is the only one I know here out of all of you and thats only because b**ch beat up Rihanna.
chris- thats out of f**king order, thats out of f**king order, your stupid F**king b*tch, dont ever speak to me like that again!
paris- hell no gurl! you didn't just speak to me like that, wha cha gonna do, bite me?! BITE ME BABY! BITE ME!
lance- Paris you are the most ill mannered person I have ever met.
nadine- you know what your famous for paris, this! this is what your famous for, good for you! good for youuu!
paris- you may be in the spice girls hunny but in this country you will be only known for meeting the great that is Paris Travelodge, im your claim to fame in ths country hunny, good for f**king you!
Later on in the day Paris is asked to leave the camp by producers as viewers complained to watchdog with 3,405 complaints over her behaviour on the show and is evicted from the show with full pay.
