lexeyjane that’s what I think too!! I honestly don’t think it’s a bad thing. It’s also been weird with the pandemic but I think that wasn’t a factor in this case. Would you still hug if like they’re sitting / you’re standing? Or is that weird LOL
woeisme yeah true I was thinking of giving her arm a gentle squeeze but I’d have to move to do that and I thought that’s too small of a thing + it was either a hug or nothing situation…. I’m too awkward and overthink things too much :(
well im an empath(not by choice) so probably yes. i cant handle people crying though id cry more than them.
But in general im not a hugger at all unless im intoxicated. my friends laugh at me cause of the way i greet them. they force me to hug them when i dont want to.
Oh minie I was like 99% gonna tear up but I have to like control myself because I didn’t want it to become about me being weird. But I totally get it. It hurts to see others sad / in pain
i legit cant help it girl. i cry when i see a cartoon character cry. its not on purpose lmao. empath things. i really wish i knew to control its ways. kindred7
Honestly for us Brazilians give hugs is something really really natural (specially for those who live in my region bc we're known for be more friendly) so doesn't matter the situation I'd hug them if I feel that it won't make them uncomfortable ofc.
Something like this has happened to me a few times when I have encountered someone and they were visibly upset: I hugged them because they looked like they really needed someone to kind of physically be there for them during a pretty vulnerable moment. And usually right when I embrace them, then that's when they will really kind of start to let it all out and just have a good cry
Sometimes people are holding onto/carrying a lot of baggage. And it is just so emotionally exhausting
If you think it could be a nice gesture given the situation, no harm in asking (especially if you feel on good terms with that person). Even if they don't want the hug it's just gonna be a "no thanks" but they'll probably still appreciate the gesture!
tonym101101 yeah asking seems fair honestly. I know some people def don’t like hugs even when they’re in a good mood + esp if you’re not close to someone you don’t know how they feel about this
Thirteen LOL well… I suppose that’s a good tactic - I guess that’s essentially what I did today + just tried to console them
StraightLoonie ya outright asking might be the best strategy - and yea ikr as long as it’s not a weird hug, hugs are great!
brunodrads you’re right there’s also a big cultural component. In some countries like there’s a bigger emphasis on community, and in others it’s every person for themselves. I think unfortunately North America is more focused on “self” and so it’s not part of social customs to hug a lot (maybe even when you say hello in some cultures you hug or give a kiss on the cheek - you don’t do that in canada/US most of the time). But I think it’s nice that for you it’s a default to hug :)
systrix and benjaminb you both seem to have a similar mindset - yea honestly you’re right if esp they’re crying and not saying much, I feel like it warrants a hug and I’d do the same. In my case yesterday, the girl was actually talking a LOT so I guess I didn’t feel awkward because I was listening to her too. I suppose each situation is different in that sense too
shadowrider I can always count on you for the best advice donaam true maybe I should’ve just asked. Lol I think I overthought it esp bc she was sitting down in my situation but I’m sure a lot of people would want one but wouldn’t ask themselves
ive only hugged someone once bc they were upset and i could relate but now i just stand awkardly and wonder what to do but thats bc i cant bring myself to do it anymore ,and some cry for nothing...also ive almost never been hugged while crying but i usually used to hide bc its embarrassing so yea
