Hey, hi, hello, my musiqué queens. Are you ready for your critiques? Before that, I must announce that it has come to my knowledge that the participant Hunty has quitted the contest due to the fact that she is now too busy playing frookies and has no time left for us. Sad to see her go but... the show must go on. Sashay away, my queen.
Now, let's get it started. When I call your name, please step forward: spinfur.... _Matt.... and Brandonator....You're all safe and you may go back to the Gerusa's Illusions Lounge. Here are your critiques:
_Matt ━━ Slayyyter ‘’Celebrity’’ ━━ Girl! You know I love this bop… I totally get the roast part of this song as if Gerusa is one of those 2000’s celebrities-it-girls and she was being negligent about hosting a Tengaged blog game because she was blowing all her money right up her nose & too busy handling the paparazzis while she attends parties during pandemic times… And maybe you’re kinda right? Just kidding.
spinfur ━━ P!nk ‘’Stupid Girls’’ ━━ First of all, I must confess that this is not one of my favourite songs of P!nk. BUT, when it comes to a roast, the lyrics fit very well with the assignment even though you didn’t really answer the questions I gave in the description. Gerusa being a negligent and f*cked host definitely makes her a stupid girl.
Brandonator ━━ Kimberly Cole ‘’Smack You’’ ━━ You went for a rough roast and I must admit that I loved the BGC tribute here. The song is definitely hilarious, the only thing that I didn’t quite get was if you were sending this message to Gerusa or if you were putting yourself in Gerusa’s shoes as if she was the one saying that tonight she would smack a beyatch. Either way, it was a cool choice for the episode.
*6 queens remaining on the stage...* You all represent the tops and the bottoms of the episode. Here are your critiques, in no particular order:
Lukesaur ━━ Kali Uchis ‘’Dead To Me’’ ━━ This is by far my favourite song from Isolation. I need to say that, at first, when you chose this song to walk down the runway I didn’t get at all the reason why you did it and even thought that you would end up at the bottom… But, after analyzing it, I think that I do understand where you were trying to take me… maybe to a classy type of roast? Yeah, Gerusa is dead and obsessed with you…However, when you compare your choice with the others, it is just not strong/rough/funny enough.
boyfriend ━━ Lana Del Rey ‘’High By The Beach’’ ━━ Hey Maya! You were actually the only one who gave me a clear answer for what I asked for this episode’s task. Not only you earned some points by getting the assignment right but you also got it right what Gerusa was doing. Yeah, she was getting high by the beach and sending a lot of f*ck offs to everyone else, plus the fact that I’d love to have Lana Del Rey’s weapon to blow the whole world. The only thing that kept you from getting higher stats is the fact that you didn’t really bring comedy to your runway… but that’s okay, the rest of the factors make it up for you.
tswiftlover13 ━━ Nicki Minaj ‘’Stupid Hoe’’ ━━ This is such a fun track and one of my favourites of Nicki. I see that you didn’t answer the question I asked in the assignment but at the same time I also see that the description I gave was kinda confusing so, I don’t blame you. After that read, I’m sure Gerusa would be devastated because Nicki's shade is fierrrrrrrrrrrce. Based on that, I need to recognize that this would be one of the best roasts when it comes to stomping a biatch. As Jennifer, maybe Gerusa was searching for Brad… who knows?
ponga ━━ Ashnikko ‘’Daisy’’ ━━ I met Ashnikko through her song ‘’Cry’’ featuring Grimes and even though I didn’t like it at first, she grew a lot as an artist in my perspective. However, judging your choice for the assignment, I don’t really think it fits because the lyrics aren't roasting me but, in fact, are putting Gerusa as a fierce girl, a bad biatch who is ready to kick some asses and will not bow down to anyone. I’d love this if the task was to tribute me… but it is not, so, it is a no-no for me.
mathboy9 ━━ City High ‘’What Would You Do?’’ ━━ Math, I have to admit that I cackled so hard at this. The fact that the song is trying to translate a serious message makes the roast even better than it already is. Maybe Gerusa is a hoe, but I demand everyone to call the Social Service because I was just trying to buy some milk for my baby… and I prefer not to tell the sources where this milk is from… if you know what I mean, lol. Nice job Math, another amazing episode for you.
Eoin ━━ Nicki Minaj ‘’Stupid Hoe’’ ━━ Well, I don’t really think that you want to be here anymore because you didn’t even notice that tswiftlover13 had already posted this song… but hey! I don’t blame you… I knew that many people wouldn’t like to keep the show going before my 2-weeks-hiatus... It's my fault.
Based on that, I've made some decisions: #boyfriend... You're safe and you may join the other girls...
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. #tswiftlover13, you called me a STUPID HOE and the feeling is MUTUAL...! #mathboy9, you've got me wondering WHAT WOULD YOU DO to Gerusa...!
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. #tswiftlover13, you're safe. #mathboy9, Congratulations, you're the winner of this episode's challenge. You won a cash tip of 1 dollar and a copy of Britney Spears first album.
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Unfortunately, Lukesaur, Eoin and ponga... you are the bottom 3 of this episode... and all I can say is that #Lukesaur... You are safe.
Two queens stand before me. Ladies, you had your chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination...
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. #ponga: Shantay, you stay. #Eoin, I'm sure you were no stupid hoe by not wanting to continue on the show anymore... now, sashay away, my queen. AND LET THE MUSIC PLAY. Forever.
INCOMPREENDIDA!!!!