Whats people's opinion on large age gaps in relationships?
EDIT: I believe love is love and age is irrelevant. I was just playing devil's advocate and wondered people's opinion. Nothing wrong with a healthy discussion.
my nan was 15 years younger than my granddad, so when she was born, he was 15. when she was 10, he was 25. it sound horrendous! but when she was 20 he was 35 and she was 50 he was 65. does sound so bad then. i think age, once you are an adult, is irrelevant if you are both happy and you both want the relationship equally gilby
It's honestly not that bad, like most people in England have an age gap (I think you're from here!!!!!!) from like 5-20 years so I don't get anything wrong with it, if he was like sleeping around with people 20 years older I'd get it, but he's obviously in a committed relationship with him and wants to be with him, let them be I guess.
I own Tom's autobiography in which he discusses quite a few personal things, this sudden change in sexuality is really confusing me. I think was 75937563748 right he's looking for a father figure, something he lacks in his life atm. This huge gap could be evident of that.
Vans I'm from Scotland. I mean I generally date older people anyway. It's just interesting to see people's actual thoughts and opinions on the matter. I agree with you because he is in a committed relationship.
Anas I think when he was writing his book he would of had people advising him of what to put in. Obviously he was not out at the time and didn't plan to announce it anytime soon so it would have been kept out of his book. I think the only reason he did a Youtube video is because he was being pressured by the Media and no doubt a paper was going to run a story on him.
Gilby that is true, but what i meant was from what i read he was extremely close to his dad, and how lifeless he had become after he went. He even kept saying how 'safe' he felt. Tbh He's the oldest sibling so I'm guessing he spent the most time with his parents.
gilby, its a very emotive issue. when you are the one involved, its easy to justify the age gap, but on the outside, its easy to judge. im sure if mini bibs came home with someone with that age gap, my opinion would probably change. i think that anas may have hit home with that one, hes looking for a father figure.
what surprises me more, is how it made the news. i thought we were striving for an all encompassing society and yet we still have to announce these things, we just cant accept it. having a girlfriend would not have made the news, so this shouldn't have either!!
Bibbles - exactly! I mean in an esccence i understand people now being supportive towards it because a celebrity they are fond of has become a part of that community.Which does benefit LGBT's (is that the right abbreviation?:L) but he's dated people before! Its sad he's now known as some guy who came out on youtube rather than for everything he's achieved in his life.
bibbles I agree that celebrities "coming out" shouldn't be big news in this day and age. However I believe Tom's story is justified as he is a sporting celebrity and it's rare for sports stars to come out whilst still competing within their chosen sport. Also because he is a well known Olympian will have contributed to it being a bigger story.
i still find it sad gilby and anas, that in this day and age, he cant be an Olympian, a sports star, someone who you can aspire to without his sexuality being an issue, is shouldnt make any difference what he is or what his profession is. none of his team mates make the papers cos they are dating the opposite sex, so why should same sex dating be any different.
I just realised I'm spamming out in the comments, but the fact i followed him before this hit the news makes me want to comment lol
GilbyBibbles : i don't think his occupation has anything to do with it :L like he said, the main intention of the video was to dismiss all the rumours written about him. That's where the question is posed 'does he really need to justify himself?' and should him being gay be classed as a 'rumour' to begin with.
Anas I just mentioned his occupation because he was no doubt advised to remain straight because there are still prejudice's attached to being gay in certain industries. Hence why there are still no out gay footballer's.
I don't think he should have to justify himself but as I said the media was continuing to push rumours which must have been aggravating for him. I mean now that it has been brought to public attention the story itself is already dying down because like both you and bibbles said it's not as big a deal to people these days.
ok what. i looked at this blog earlier and there were 5 or 6 comments and now it's a top blog and there's like a huge argument lol, what's going on here..
I think it is quite interesting in my experience of gay relationships in many cases younger guys tend to like older guys and then when the younger guy gets older they like younger guys and become the old guys.
When i was younger i dated older guys (e.g when i was 24 i had a longish term relationship, 2 years with a guy who was 35, when i was 21 a guy who was 27).
I think as long as there is no "power issue" e.g. Teacher/pupil then i see no issues here as long as the people involved are happy.
I don't care at all. People that do are just nosy and have nothing better to do that worry about it. If someone is 13 years old and wants to date a 30 year old, like yeah, it's odd, but I'm not God. I don't have no right to judge. Let people be happy with who they want.
Age difference as fine as long as he is not like 14 and the guy is 30. They should both be older that way they are both developed/mature and know what they are getting themselves into. I don't see the problem with it. Also money obviously has nothing to do with it since they are both rich....
Yeah I know Gilby I realized that after I actually read the comments lol. It's just when I scrolled down at first and saw all this text, I thought it was an argument.
I'm 25 but when I was 17 turning 18 I dated a teacher. It was wrong in a way, not that he was my teacher, but I was immature. He was 21 but still. Age difference matters because of legalities and statutory rape. Now I'm in an relationship with 4 and a half years difference (older than me, but looks young). So sometimes age is just a number, but not if you're underage.
i saw a pic of dustin and i assumed he was the same age as tom. the pic they showed of him made him look like he was fucking 19 and turns out he's almost forty
LittleMix I agree that love is love no matter the age. I was just playing devil's advocate and seeing people's opinions. I didn't expect it to become a top blog.
PortlandPookiie If you read through some of the comments you'll see I also say it's no big deal. I was literally just pointing something out and decided to play devil's advocate and see what people's opinions were. Nothing wrong with having a healthy discussion.
EDIT: I believe love is love and age is irrelevant. I was just playing devil's advocate and wondered people's opinion. Nothing wrong with a healthy discussion.
I think it's gross. Plus that man is a creeper who stalks other male celebs to get with them. He's pretty much dating his dad #ByeDontCareIfMyOpinionIsUnliked this situation is just gross to me.
personally I find anything beyond 5 years strange just because then I feel you'd be at different points in your life, so like what do you share? and also I wouldn't want my soulmate to die like 20 years before me
but then again my parents are 10 odd years apart and been married like 23 years so idk man
MikeRORO I never said it was fucked up. I date people older than me and the last guy I dated was 9 years older than me. I don't know if the comment was directed at me or just people who had a different opinion on the matter.
Teddybear What do you disagree with? Obviously if someone is underage and there is a huge age gap I disagree. But if both people are consenting adults I don't really see the issue.
LoveLife I know. I wish there were more blogs that brought up fun discussions. Not just one's related to gay culture either.
Gilby 9 years is one thing, that's not a huge difference when two people are adults. But I think there's a difference between a 19 year old and a 39 year old, for example. These people are at completely different stages in their lives - like 20 years changes someone and it's weird to me that someone who is 39 years old is basically dating someone who could be their child. Yeah I know "love is love" or whatever but I dunno, a 39 year old adult is getting involved with a teenager. There's always the exception but I think people should consider age more than they do.
but teddybear IF they have considered it and decided it isn't a problem then why should someone else say it is? I mean, your statement implies all 19 year olds and all 39 year olds are at different stages (and generally i would agree) however that isn't always the case. Some may well be at the same stage in their life.
Personally i wouldn't date anyone younger than 25 but that is personal choice, i wouldn't judge someone who did.
Teddybear They may well be at different stages of their lives. But in the same respect Tom may be really mature for his age and his boyfriend less mature for his age. It's something we won't ever know. It must work for them as they have been dating since Spring. I just get what you mean about changing over the period of 20 years, as I already feel completely changed from when I was 18/19 and I'm 26. Lets not forget though this is his first gay relationship and that alone can be quiet intense for someone.
knixukGilby
Yeah I think maybe I was being a bit presumptive, I guess to clarify my point, personally I would not date someone with a huge age gap from myself. But I don't normally judge other people, ESPECIALLY 10 years which I don't believe is a huge difference. 20 years I feel is pushing it, not for Tom, but for the 39 year old he's dating to be seeking out a 19 year old.. there is just something unsettling about that to me. I do see your points, though.
Teddybear I understand where your coming from in regards to if it seems like his boyfriend seeked him out. I was also going to use Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison as an example of age difference. Doug married Courtney when she was 16 and he was 51. However that's a bit irrelevant now as they are now separated/getting a divorce.
