2 splozojames50, May 10, 2022
as some of you may or may not have read the previous installment (linked below)
the CRISPY POTATOES LADY returned to the 'rant for a THIRD time.
long story short the first time she ordered the CRISPY POTATOES they werent crispy enough for her and she sent them right back while constantly nagging about how horrible we were based on how not CRISPY these potatoes were in an unsolicited fashion.
The second time they returned with their whole family and i greeted them and malfunctioned for .2 seconds as the sepia tone flashback of miss crispy potatoes played in my head. again, she made unsolicited comments about the (not) crispy potatoes and they ordered it AGAIN but i forgot to ring it in. it got to the table late and they sent it right back.
Last week she RETURNED and sat at the bar. Again it takes me a second to recognize them and when I do i see in front of her... the crispy potatoes. I ask her straight up "are the potatoes crispy this time" and she laughs and is all like "oh you remember???". word for word i told her "i will never forget that for the rest of my life maam" and im not sure if she picked up on how serious i was.
drumroll... the potatoes WERE crispy this time and she enjoyed them. I did look on their ticket at the expo and the bartender rang them in "extra crispy" like lol.
so yea, the age old question has been ANSWERED and for once there is a happy ending to a karen's saga.
backstory that i kinda explained in pretty much full detail in this blog anyways: https://tengaged.com/blog/splozojames50/9845221/the-return-crispy-potatoes-lady
#RantRant
1 splozojames50, Apr 4, 2022
occurred yesterday at the 'rant and i am in a bit of awe
so pretty much this table of five comes in, and i say hi to them and from where im standing i look at the gentleman to the right of me and the lady to the left of me and im like "ok hmmm... i think i know them". (foreshading: whenever i recognize people 9 times out of 10 its NOT because they loved everything and everything went smooth.) as the gentleman recognizes me all of a sudden the sepia tone flashback occurs in my brain to the VIVID memory of where i know them from
long story short the couple in question came in to the 'rant like 2 months prior. the gentleman ordered mezcal in an EXTREMELY extra fashion and made a stink about it as if thats the default way to drink his well mezcal... all while the lady was making a stink about how we dont serve the guava cocktails from the other restaurant also in the hotel. then the lady ordered CRISPY POTATOES and sent them back. when i asked her about the NEW item she ordered INSTEAD she then went ranting about these crispy potatoes "you know those potatoes really werent crispy... if this is the standard this restaurant is running on then you guys are in trouble!" like ok i didnt ask about that nor do i care
this memory plays vividly in my head in this .2 seconds like a vision from thats so raven and not 5 seconds later i shit you not the lady goes "are the potatoes still not crispy?!?" again refusing to engage with this woman ("im disengaging" - dr holly --me) i smile and laugh while not saying a WORD.
everything goes smooth enough. except when a different gentleman at the table ordered crispy potatoes that i FORGOT TO RING IN! and when they eventually came they sent it back because it was too late lol oops, but honestly they would have complained about it so i kinda won there. then at the end of the night the gentleman pulls me aside and is all like "do you work wednesday?" again mouth agape that im just like HOW do these people like me all they do is complain and i actually actively fucked up this time.
anyways the answer is maybe because i might work wednesday so this story MIGHT continue and we might get a finally get an answer as to whether or not the potatoes truly are crispy
#RantRant
3 splozojames50, Mar 3, 2022
As the title of this blog denotes/implies/foretells, a Real Housewife of [Redacted] came into the 'rant today. Not one of the relevant ones at ALL so not that serious but that point is a bit of foreshadowing in a sense. N ty ways she orders a gin martini with a gin that we didnt have after she didnt look at the spirits list and as i was opening it up she was all like "just make it with the best of the best of gins"
okay fine i ring up a 20 dorra gin for her DIRTY martini. they order food and while they are ordering i cannot get a word in because this lady is like the motor-est of motormouths i have possibly ever come across? like i seriously think she might have been on drugs because she would just speak in minute long run-on sentences at the speed of highly edited reality tv "that girl is annoying" montages but irl. foreshadowing foreshadowing foreshadowing.
she drinks her whole martini, orders another one, they finish their first course and onto the second. the second martini arrives and she takes a sip or two before i check in on them again. "what gin did you put in this martini?" i respond with monkey 47 and shes all like "it tastes FRUITY" with a million fluff words before asking me what kind of gin it is. Naturally, i have no idea, so i go "A classic london dry gin, little hints of citrus" just to bullshit with buzzwords. to which she responds with "citrus? with olives? not a good combination"
ok fair you got me there bitch i say ill get her another with a different gin. At this point the manager informed me this whole table is comped as per the GM so everything she doesnt like is free money for me.
She starts eating her steak and the cuntplaints cuntinue. she starts to tell me how CHEWY this steak is as she asks me for paper napkins to spit out the piece that is so impossible to swallow currently in her mouth. i bring them to her and she continues going all "every bite is chewy i cant even swallow one bite!" as im TRYING to be all like "im sorry maam anything else i can bring out that you would like better" she continues to cut me off before she iconically goes "this is so CHEWY. whats the name of this place Chewy Mc' Joes???!?" in a dead serious tone. at this point she has cut me off in the middle of me trying to get her something she would like at least 2-3 times so i just apologize, remove the steak from the table and then tell my manager that exact wording to which he responds with "haha thats a good one havent heard that on before" before NOT going to talk to them whatsover lol
5 minutes later the bitch is all "what else do you have, i havent even eaten dinner!" before asking for a pasta 10 minutes after the kitchen was closed. After immedietely asking for salt and olive oil and taking one bite they asked for the check "ASAP!". i told them it was already taken care of and the tipped me fitty dorra..
0 splozojames50, Jan 26, 2022
with an onion allergy
when really all the guy wants is no onion on his steak but they say allergy so you go through each and every item with the chef to make sure there's no onion (its in a lot of things) and you tell them specifically one certain appetizer has onion.
the allergy in question immediately starts eating from said plate and since the kitchen is ov the open variety they can see it and start freaking out and call me over and i have to re-iterate it HAS onion and the lady is all like "on no its fine hell just eat around it ^_^" when there's no visible pieces of onion and its all been cooked with onion.
and this table was a ~vip~ table like ok like the whole kitchen thought they were about to kill this man over not wanting chunky onion on his steak that he complained about anyways
#RantRant
3 splozojames50, Jan 16, 2022
cue the wall of text 'Rant Rant that "nobody will read" but 1-2 people sometimes do?
So yesterday at werk I got a table before the rush. It was a couple and they were waiting for their friends to join them. Lady orders a drink and the man orders water. they order a hummus and eventually another pita bread as they soak up my section for over an hour.
the rest of their party strolls in in the middle of the rush. of course they arent ready to order for like another 40 minutes at which point half of them order appetizers at entrees (one of which reads "Spicy [redacted pasta shape]" on the menu *foreshadowing). i say this not because i care that im not rlly making anything off this table but their priority is quite low rn.
N e ways long story short i forget to ring in 2 drinks for them whoopsy and as i bring them to the table late right before food gets there the suspect in question is all like "and his wine..." in a very aggressive "you fucked up" tone/body language. ok fine i can take that that one was my fault
so theyre eating and i check back and theyre all good. theyre very awkward and they all clearly dont like me especially the man who made the previous comment but whatevs. At the end of the meal spicy pasta lady hardly ate any and the plate isnt even in front of her anymore. i go into you know "did we not like the pasta very much... anythign else i can bring out that you would like better" mode before the man cuts me off and is all like "you know this pasta was SPICY." im all like "oh im sorry we didnt like i-" before hes all like "no no no, this is for YOU to know because YOU should be telling people its spicy.
at this point im all blinks mouth agape under my mask. i really wanted to say "you know it says spicy [redacted pasta shape] on the menu but obviously i couldnt so instead i was just all "absolutely *insert julie pic attatched to this blog*"
ofc they got some free dessert out of it but like damn. i think the best part that came out of this is that their experience was bad enough that they probably wont come back ever again but not bad enough to leave a bad yelp review... i won?
#RantRant
