stupid black mirror ranting
7thJun 17, 2019
- jacksonjoseph99 I was gonna mail this in response to you but then it became my suicide note so i figured I would post it for the world to see
to answer your question all three new black mirror episodes were GARBAGE honestly
i'm not gonna pretend i went into the season with necessarily HIGH expectations. Black mirror and its basic mantra being old people afraid of smartphone can only be beaten over the head so many times before it gets old. however I have continued watching the show despite only truly enjoying a few episodes because it DOES maintain a reputation to pull out a true gag-worthy twist almost every episode whether or not it makes sense writing-wise. But right so the new season's three big concepts for episodes I feel could have been done MUCH gaggier? Like there was never a gag for any of the three.
Like first episode acts like it's gonna be about age/sexual potency and ALSO race and ALSO gay and trans in the frame of old people traumatized by smartphone but instead they bank on everyone being like ohohoho, yeah my friend who plays as a girl is definitely gay (which had some value for me but that's where it stopped this episode) and what COULD have been a very good gag of someone being a tranny at the end of the episode or at least a discovery of the infidelity shown on screen? was wasted in favor of a lazy half-measures ending where it's "open to interpretation" in the laziest sense and they avoid making any actual commentary about any of the things they build up.
Episode 2 aka old guy traumatized by iphone the manifesto, is played WAY too straight and I understand what this show is trying to tell me enough 5 seasons in to need to hear atmospheric phone beeping for 10 seconds to demonstrate someone feeling trapped by technology. This episode also probably the MOST tragically acts like it's gearing up for a gag the whole time, like WHY does he wanna talk to Eric from that 70's show? with all the stupid buildup over the levels of bureaucracy in the company and filters of communication the dramatic buildup for ME personally seemed to imply the company had a much more direct/insidious role in death of Wife, which would have made SENSE if Protagonist was trying to figure out what went down OR knew something was fishy and was on a revenge mission. BUT, we finally get him on the phone with Eric from 70's show and he's just like "I'm sad because smartphones, look at the road Eric!" like WHAT? The whole episode was for absolutely nothing and i honestly don't give a shit if the black intern was shot or not because his character was NOTHING more than an extremely basic stockholm syndrome trope (which also to me looked kinda bad given the racial dynamic?)
then we arrive at Black mirror's big advertising piece the Miley Cyrus episode, which just TONALLY makes 0 sense to me, I understand that they kinda go all in as far as the Disney movie cliches and plot contrivances, but that doesn't really make sense for Black Mirror to me? Like I was expecting they would go a MUCH more satirical route if that was the subject matter but instead the aunt is just a disney villain and we have to stop her by crashing into her hologram party with dad's exterminator van in a stupid police chase scene? mmk. The whole allusion to nine inch nails didn't make sense to me either, their covering the ACTUAL song at the end hit the nail on the head way too hard and like I get you're trying to tell me Miley is a tortured emo soul but did you have to go THAT basic with it that she dreams nine inch nails? again mmk. the writers clearly did not care about the teenagers' plot (they were also both horrible actors btw) and aborted their storyline act 2. ALSO the fact that miley was clearly too expensive for them that for their ONE hour-long episode including her (why do we need it this long anyway?) they have to write her character out with a coma 20 mins in to get her off the screen hastily in an age-old shortcut is NOT lost on me in any sense. idk the only thing remotely "black mirror" about the episode was (1) the VERY thinly veiled merchandising grab with miley cyrus the robot and (2) we're gonna read miley cyrus's nine inch nails dreams with my iphone. also i could not have rolled my eyes harder when the plug is pulled and Miley ass wakes up. again the robot being on a suicide mission could have been a REASONABLE gag for this episode but instead we got to pay miley a small percentage less for this scene because our horrible child actor extras are holding her up and she doesn't have to walk
so in conclusion kill yourself jackson
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