Am I the only one who thinks this cast is dogshit? I already miss BB Canada. I mean, yeah, BB Canada had their stinkers and this season of BB America has their peaks, but this show has only been on for two days and I already don't want to watch this anymore.
So you know how I said that Tengaged seemed angry? Well SurvivorFan37 was voted out of a group game Survivor yesterday, and in his parting messaging he said this:
"I was playing with the stumblefuck brigade, so there wasn't much I could do.
Regardless, you're all idiots and deserve to lose."
Quickly followed by this:
"I'm sorry the rest of this season is going to be so terrible for you, Ben. Best of luck - I know how it feels."
Now, I responded, naturally, but he was having none of it. Problem is I don't feel as though he quite understood my point, and I don't want to message him because he's angry. So instead I'm going to channel my studies as a future psychiatrist and make a psychological diagnostic for Will.
First of all, something that must be known is that Will used the word "stumblefuck", meaning "the act of being so drunk you can't stand up or talk", according to a dictionary I found. Understanding that Tengaged is a website, I do not understand how my ability to walk is at all relevant, so my belief is that Will believes that Tengaged, or more specifically Survivor group games, are real life. Either that or he meant another word such as "clusterfuck", or "fuckwit", but given his delusions of grandeur, which we shall get into shortly, this seems unlikely.
Next, his outburst was immediate and insulting. This is the typical behavior that can be found in such games as "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 6 or some shit", and leads me to believe that he is either a twelve year old boy who's convinced himself that he's had sex with my mother, or that he is a thirty year old unemployed fat man who's also convinced himself that he's had sex with my mother. Either way, this covers both anger, as both of these stages of life are particularly harmful, as well as delusional. Now onto the grandeur.
Upon his initial outburst, this was my response:
"You thought to turn on someone who openly wanted you on their tribe, it didn't work, and you didn't try to redeem yourself. Why did you think this would be different?
You are an incompetent player"
To which he replied:
"Jordan has some big and important thoughts for us all, everyone!"
Now, I don't have to be a psychiatrist (and I'm not) to tell you that this is an anger fueled statement, but it also illustrates something interesting. Given how he only views importance in his own sentiments and values, and immediately dismisses mine upon statement, I can only assume that Will is a pathological narcissist who has never felt love in his life and is sub-consciously very sad. This is further proven by the fact that he was told who to vote for by three people, told them all no, and somehow expected his stubbornness to win out over rationality.
In conclusion, Will seems like a trouble lad, who has far too many delusions about having sex with my mother. I request immediate counselling as well as heavy doses of antipsychotic medications. This has been Dr. Jordan, and I thank you for joining me today.
I have decided to take it upon myself to list some activities to make some of the angrier tengaged users happier, or at least calmer.
1. Complete an escape room. I find that anger can be used to channel determination, leading you to get out of a room you're locked in by solving puzzles quickly.
2. Meditate. As an avid meditator (meditater? Meditatee? Idk) I find that this helps calm me down after a particularly irritating league of Legends game, or after a smelly person takes up two seats on a bus.
3. Watch old cartoons. Who the hell stays angry when bugs bunny is in the picture? Heartless people, that's who.
4. Volunteer at your local fire department. Let your hatred for your landlord fuel your hatred for fires as you help save lives in the process.
5. Have sex with your enemy's significant other. If possible have it filmed.
6. Sit by a fireplace in a bath robe with a nice book. I like bath robes, they soothe the soul.
7. Become a cyber man. This way you cannot experience anger, or any other emotion. Though you still have outlets to kill people, so do with that as you will.
8. Eat some hot wings. Make sure they're good hot wings. Good hot wings act as a cooling agent when the psyche is overheated. Ironic, I know.
9. Have a bath. Having a nice hot bath will melt your troubles away. For added affect, you may add bath salts, a bath bomb, or your enemy's significant other to enhance the bath experience. Be sure to use your nice bath robe after exiting to tub. I like bath robes.
10. Make a video discussing the reproductive activities of the common giraffe. I don't know if this'll help, but I'll appreciate it.
11. Go on a date with Brodster2321 and then write a blog about it. Don't think I've forgotten about our date, brodster. You owe me a kangaroo.
And that's my list! Please offer any additional ideas in the area below.
I don't care that James is my favorite person left in the house, no no, Victor has become the only competitor in history to come back twice (I think), and I would ADORE it if this led to Victor clawing his way to the win now. I didn't like him at the start, after he came back the first time I liked him, now that he's back the second, he deserves the win.
This is only including the last two of each and the current Big Brother.
BB 15: McCrae, because obviously McCrae. I also liked Judd, and thought Helen was okay and if she came back she's probably do well. Everyone else was either "okay, but wouldn't have a good time coming back" like Elissa, or "die in a fire", like Aaryn.
BB Canada 2: I think that Adel should be allowed to come back to every season of Big Brother for the rest of his life. Other than him, I'd like to see Rachelle and Neda back, they were fun too.
BB 16: I had already decided that I wanted Zach and Nicole to come back for another season while I was still watching it. I'd also be okay with seeing Amber again, I think she got screwed. I would say Donny, but going on Big Brother the first time lost him his job, I don't want to bother him.
BB Canada 3: Johnny, Pilar, Bruno, Kevin. I didn't name four people because I had more people that I'd want to see come back. I named four people because these are the only four people from last season I would enjoy watching again at all. Big Brother Canada 3 sucked, I didn't like anyone who made it into the final four (although it would be wrong to say that I disliked Ashleigh, I'm indifferent with her), I didn't like Zach, I LOATHED Sindy, and I absolutely hated Jordan, which sucks, because Jordan is my name, and I had high hopes for him. And then he fucking stabbed my hopes and threw them into a sewer.
Fuck Jordan Parhar.
Big Brother Canada 17: The season's still going, so I still like a lot of them, but mainly the one's I'd like to have back would be John, James, Becky, John again, Jason, Jackie, John again, Steve, Meg, and John a fourth time. Basically I just want John to have his own show.
