UNROLL THE TADPOLE 🐸UNCLOG THE FROG 🐸UNLOAD THE TOAD 🐸 UNINHIBIT THE RIBBIT 🐸UNSTICK THE LICK 🐸 UNIMPRISON THE AMPHIBIAN 🐸UNMUTE THE NEWT 🐸UNBENCH THE KENCH 🐸PERMIT THE KERMIT 🐸DEFOG THE POLLIWOG 🐸
On May 28, 2016, a three-year-old boy visiting the Cincinnati Zoo fell into the moat at the Gorilla World habitat. Witnesses said they heard the child say he wanted to go into the gorilla enclosure. The boy then climbed a 3-foot-tall (0.91 m) fence, crawled through 4 feet (1.2 m) of bushes, and then fell 15 feet (4.6 m) into a moat of shallow water. Zoo officials immediately signaled for the three gorillas in the habitat to return inside, and two females did so. However, the third gorilla, the inquisitive 440-pound (200 kg) male silverback, Harambe, climbed down into the moat to investigate the child splashing in the water.
Over the next 10 minutes, Harambe became increasingly "agitated and disoriented" by the screams of onlookers. He dragged the child through the water, occasionally propping him up when he sat, or pushing him down when he stood. Harambe exhibited "strutting" behavior—walking around with legs and arms stiffly extended to appear bigger—a bluffing move, though one with inherent danger should he throw or drag the boy around too roughly. Harambe then carried the boy up a ladder out of the moat onto dry land. Afraid for the boy's life, zoo officials made the decision to kill the gorilla, doing so with a single gunshot. Cincinnati firefighters said the boy was between Harambe's legs when the shot was fired. Harambe was killed one day after his 17th birthday.
The Animatronic Fox On Splash Mountain Addressed Me By Name And Told Me He Was Going To Marry My Dad
1. The Time The Animatronic Fox Made Eye Contact With Me:
I was riding Splash Mountain, and the animatronic fox was doing his preprogrammed speech about how he wanted to catch the animatronic rabbit. The fox said, “Now’s our chance to set a trap for Br’er Rabbit!” Then it turned and looked me right in the eyes and said, “I’m going to marry your dad, Ryan.” Then the fox leaned in real close to my face, which I’m pretty sure it was not programmed to do, and he said, “Call me ‘Mrs. Dad,’ Ryan. I’m going to be your dad’s bride at his wedding.” Before he could say anything else, I had floated away from him to enjoy the rest of the magic of Splash Mountain.
2. The Time The Animatronic Fox Kept Talking About How Long The Wedding Would Take When He Married My Dad:
The big drop at the end of Splash Mountain was so fun that I decided to get back in line and ride it again. I was having a blast listening to all the robotic animals sing and move around until the animatronic fox once again turned to me as I floated past. It started to say, “You sure done made a fool of yourself, Br’er Bear!” but about halfway through the line he trailed off, turned around, and said, “Welcome back, Ryan. I’m going to marry your religious dad and the wedding is going to take forever. Everyone’s going to talk so slow and your dad and I are going to kiss 100 times. Your dad is going to get down on his knees and thank Christ for making his wedding to the robot fox take so long.” I tried to tell the robotic fox that I didn’t want that to happen, but I had already floated away from him.
3. The Time The Animatronic Fox Told Me That He Was Going To Wear My Clothes When He Married My Dad;
I had decided not to go on Splash Mountain anymore, but then I remembered how fun the big drop at the end was and I got back in line. I was hoping the animatronic fox would just do his clockwork movements and prerecorded lines, but instead he popped up out of the water in the middle of the ride and said, “Your dad is my fiancé, Ryan. I’m going to wear your shirts and your pants when I marry your dad. Your dad’s going to wear a wedding dress and we’re going to be bonded in the eyes of Christ. Enjoy the rest of Splash Mountain, Ryan.” After the ride, I told the Disney World employee working the line what had happened, and he just said, “That sounds bad.” But he didn’t do anything
4. The Time The Fox’s Voice Came Out Of The Animatronic Goose:
I just couldn’t stay away from that incredible drop at the end of Splash Mountain, so I got right back in line. There is an animatronic goose on Splash Mountain who mostly sings and babbles about being careful on rivers. One time, when I was floating past the goose, it stopped singing, swiveled on its metal hinges to face me, and said to me in the fox’s voice, “Ryan, it’s me. It’s the fox. I’m going to marry the ever-loving shit out of your religious dad. Listen to me, Ryan. Our wedding will not have any refreshments. Guests will be permitted to bring one bowl of warm water from home, but that’s it. Once I marry your dad, I’m going to become a huge part of your life. Have fun on the big drop.” Then the goose’s voice returned to normal and it sang a song about fishing. I do not want to attend a wedding where there is no food, especially since the fox said it was also going to be very long.
5. The Time An Animatronic Model Of My Dad Appeared Next To The Fox:
I had promised myself I would never ride Splash Mountain again, but on the last day of vacation, the siren song of the big, fun drop lured me right back into the den of the clockwork fox and his wet carnival of torment. When I got to the animatronic fox, he was standing next to an animatronic model of my father, which sparked and sputtered as he moved back and forth in repetitious motion. My log boat stopped right at that scene, which it hadn’t done any of the other times before, and the animatronic fox started saying things like, “Hello, Ryan. Your dad and I are going to be each other’s wives,” and, “You’ll have to watch me marry your dad through the window of the church because you’re not allowed inside, Ryan.” Then the animatronic model of my dad said, “I love marrying the fox more than I love having a son!” and then it burst into flames. As the ride finally lurched forward on the river and I floated away from this horrific scene, the fox called after me, “I’ll see you and your real dad at the wedding, Ryan!” I tried to call back, “Please don’t do this!” but my voice was drowned out by the sound of the robot porcupine singing about the dangers of being foolhardy.
Wii Sports Baseball is the best baseball video game
1. Its the best selling single platform video game of all time
Sure it was a pack in title but it still counts
2. It only requires one hand
....so you can do other things with your other hand...like editing Astros cheating compilations and DMing Luis Arraez on instagram that you want to have his babies
3. You can be anyone
Wanna play as Babe Ruth? Make a Mii! Wanna play as Jimmy Hoffa? Make a Mii! Wanna play as Danika Patrick? Play Sonic and All-Star Racing Transformed, thats not a joke shes a playable character
4. Its on the Wii and the Wii can play Gamecube games so you can play Spongebob: Battle for Bikini Bottom
Getting tired of hitting for the Cycle as failed presidential candidate Walter Mondale? Well pop in Battle For Bikini Bottom the best platformer period end of sentence, if you disagree you hate Mike Trout
5. I can make my little niece cry because im that good
Stupid kid cant tell when im throwing a Curveball
6. You can name your Mii PenisButt
Heh gottem
7. Games are only 3 innings long
Ew, 9 innings? Seems excessive, I want a game to not last longer than an SNL Cold Open and normal MLB games cant do that
8. No Yoshi
Stupid OP little sh-
9. The Announcer gives me encouragement unlike my dad who while coach of my 5th Grade Basketball team said I wasnt “doing enough”
I might not be able to shoot a 3 but at least im not divorced! HA!
10. Bowlings on the same disc
Wii Bowling is fun. Wanna Come over to my house and play? I got Capri-Sun and Cheez-its. Please im lonely
