discrod crashed. i couldnt live. my egirl, eboy, ewhore, e sidechick, eteacher, ehomie, eplug, edealer, emother, edad, esister, estepsister all gone. i dont know how i made it past. i feel regret. i had to actually breathe fresh air. and i cant tell you how refreshing it was. now. i think to myself. is it worth all these internet relations, when nature is right there? infront of my eyes? is it worth it? or should i embrace the beauty of nature. this crash, really made me rethink my entire life. i. dont. know. what. to. do. how do i say bye to my kitten? my eboy, my dearest luca (16m, fortnite lover)? is it my fault for going outside? should i have thought of this before? my life. is ruined. i think that the true meaning of life is, to by the time you die, think of, and find the meaning of it. some try to find it in drugs. friends. alcohol. i used to think my home was discord. that it was my safe haven. but now, rethinking, i have thought, what have i done with my life. why am i such a failure? the true meaning of life, at least to me, is touching grass, enjoying and embracing the beautiful outside. i have now started to train and get used to outside more. the chirp of the birds, the smell of grass, it has filled the empty spot within my soul that i thought monster and discord could fill. ive quit masturbating, and have started going out more, but nature does have its tendencies to rain, and so do i, i still do it occasionally, but to the construct of power and nature now instead of hentai. but the reason for all this? i. want. to. fit. in. fit in what you ask? society, the social constrct, life's clockwork, a way to fit into nature ans gods ways. but nevertheless most importantly, your mother.
