Ok I'm sorry
Dec 20, 2018
- this blog isn't really being written for responses. I'm more so just writing this because I hate not expressing myself, but I have a hard time expressing myself to my close family/friends.
Anyways, I'm having a really hard time this holiday season, and tonight was probably the roughest so far. I can handle constant depression, but the extreme fluctuation of highs and lows, day-to-day, has really been bothering me. December is a month of togetherness, but I feel like I'm constantly rejecting it. It's a very selfish thing to say, but it's hard for me to see so many families, couples, and people so damn happy everywhere I go, while I physically struggle to feel the same way. I guess it just sucks, because I know a lot of depressed people "fake it 'till they make it" and act happy, which works for them, but I can't do that. I know 'being true to yourself' is a technically a good quality, but it is also my downfall in some aspects, as although I am staying true to who I am...I feel like I just generally don't care for myself.
Anyways, I just needed to type all of that out, and I apologize. I don't like feeling like the grinch lol so I will most likely be deleting. Goodnight.
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