I hope God forgives you for all the harm you cause to others because those you harm repeatedly are either out of patience or are fast running out. I don't know if they whom you have harmed will forgive you once they snap. You've broken so many people and so many hearts that I think there are some who may truly be done with you. I don't know why others think you so entertaining, but you're not funny. Have you ever considered that people are laughing at your absurdity and high levels of social ignorance rather than laughing with you? It's a lesson I had to learn for myself and maybe you are at the point in your life where you need to be enlightened about a few things.
There's a difference, you know. I don't know why you think it's funny to cause hurt to people who have defended and claimed to love you, but you think it funny enough to do it repeatedly even after people have set boundaries by telling you that your behavior isn't funny or acceptable. I wish you would listen to people and the well-intended advice that they constantly give you about how to improve yourself and help yourself be a happier person, but you don't feel like you need to because you think you know everything there is to know about life. When people try to educate you, you should thank them and apply their gifts of knowledge to your life instead of viewing their advice as an attack and responding with attacks against their character, personal life, etc. People give you advice because they care about you and want you to be better. They don't do it to attack you and make you feel bad about yourself. Of course, the narcissistic part of your brain isn't capable of seeing people's kindness as anything but a personal attack, but the good thing about narcissism is that it is curable. Choose to live by helping yourself!
Sweetie, you are barely an adult and you actually know very little about life and life experiences. I think it's high time you listen to people who have had actual life experiences and who have experienced hardship because they are wise and could teach you a great deal. Whenever you have a bad day, you lash out at people who have given their all to care about your needs, your wants, your crazy days, and your meltdowns. This is actually very poor social etiquette and you need to know that while such behavior might work among online gamers, this behavior will not get you anywhere in the real world. When you piss people off in the real world, there are real world consequences and maybe it's a lesson you need to know and understand. If you can't see or understand how hurtful your behavior has become, then I hope you enjoy being alone socially because you have truly exhausted people. You have exhausted me. I am sad for you and sad about the fact that you have fallen this far from grace. You had such potential and I am sad that you are wasting it over behavior that is within your power to change.
Take this letter as an offering of grace and an opportunity to better yourself. You are capable of accepting this grace and fully embracing change if you want to. If you can't change by yourself, I encourage you to seek professional help and there's nothing wrong with doing that. I used to be you and I faced my demons, so it is truly possible to face demons, beat them, and rise above personal ashes to be much better!
I hope, for the sake of yourself and your future, that you will truly look at yourself and see that you need to do and be better.
