it's 3:33am in a dark forest potentially in florida and 11 talented(?) singers/songstresses have awoken. groggy and confused, they gradually notice one another's presence and start to become concerned…
"WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?" kelela cried out, her screams echoing through the forest so far that even the most vague ethnicity songstress formerly of chairlift could hear.
"qué pasa…" a bewildered aitana mumbled to herself as she scrambled through her pockets for that burger she'd saved as a midnight snack.
ethel cain scanned her surroundings to find a clue as to what the hell was going awn until… something in the shadows… caught her eye. something so disturbing, so horrifying, so scary…
it was ashley nicolette frangipane.
ethel let out a ptolemaea-esque scream, the volume of which could only be replicated by lara luisa. adele began to hyperventilate. jeffree star was shaking so hard. sebastian yatra's bussy fell out.
"so like is this ramsgate or…" alice chater furrowed her eyebrows as montserrat bellido durán looked at her with nothing but scorn and slight lord-forbidden lust.
"hiiiiii," ashley began, "i'm ashley!"
cloe from bratz rock angelz began to quiver, "who the fuck are YOU?"
"girl i just said i'm ashley be serious oh my GOD," ashley snapped at the doll, "i'm your friend! and we're here in the forest to play a game! you've all heard of big brother, right?"
ice spice began to speak up, "no bitch i hav-"
"didn't fucking ASKKKKK," ashley interjected, "okay so like for the less educated among us i will EXPLAIN the rules and no you don't get a choice you're HERE now like deal with it or DIE…. or like…. maybe you're gonna die anyway… hehe…"
sebastian yatra had just finished gathering his bussy up before it fell right out again, "w…. what do you mean….?"
ashley's head rotated 360 degrees to look directly into sebastian's soul, "so FIRST will be the head of household challenge. you will all send a song that fits the given theme and i will score each of the submissions based on how much i like them. the submission i like the best will become the head of household! this person will then get to nominate two people for eviction, yada yada yada."
"THEN comes the power of veto competition, same thing as head of household but with. extra cunt. this veto holder will get to veto one of the nominees, meaning the head of household has to name a replacement. then, everyone will vote to evict one of the two nominees and the nominee with the most votes will be EVICTED from the ashley nicolette frangipane big brother murder forest song race. and by EVICTED.. i mean executed. hehe!"
jeffree star's eyes widened, "EXECUTED??"
"well yes!" ashley beamed, "but that's not all! there's…. more!"
"a small group of you will be chosen at random to be TRAITORS. each night, these traitors will have the opportunity to MURDER a fellow player. they will be able to decide who to murder from the rest of the group, with a few exceptions - the current head of household cannot be murdered, the current veto holder cannot be murdered, and the surviving nominee cannot be murdered."
"and the rest of you can avoid these murders happening if a few things are fulfilled! if the head of household average score is higher than the previous episode, the traitors will be unable to murder that night. if a traitor is evicted, the remaining traitors will be unable to murder that night."
"the end phase of this game will take place when just four of you remain. you will have one last chance to send a song, before deciding whether you want to END the game, and share your winnings between the four, or continue voting out players that you believe may be a traitor. if you decide to end the game, and no traitors are remaining, everyone left in the game will be the winner and split the £15 paypal reward between you. if there is a traitor, or traitors, remaining, they will win outright and take it all for themself. so, you want to get those traitors OUTTA here, or.. die trying. hehe!"
"do you all UNDERSTAND?"
montserrat bellido durán was shaking, eyes widened like O_o, "no….."
"okay amazing! let's get started with our first head of household competition RIGHT NOW…"
✵✵✵
HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD 1 - BEST OF BRITAIN
okay like for this first head of household competition it's a simple one - send a song from the united kingdom! i want something that really feels representative of the british music industry, something it's so well known for, something it has pioneered, something that makes it really stand out from the rest of the world. or just something that serves cunt like… either works rly
oh and for those who don't know me that well… here's my last.fm to get an idea!!
https://www.last.fm/user/Yoshipaws the traitors will shortly be informed of their responsibilities and allowed the chance to confer. for this head of household competition, you must as a group achieve an average score of 7.5 or more to deny the traitors an opportunity to kill tonight.
you have like 24/48 hours maybe until new years eve or something to send your songs!
good luck everyone! blow me away.
