Every year i normally make a blog about my mum's death so here it is. I normally do it on her death day anniversary (28th February) but this past year has been really hard for me. 4 Years i walked up the stairs to wake my mum up because she was already late for work and she was stone cold and pale, the bed was wet and i was taken aback and my dad walked up and confirmed the thing i was dreading; he tried to wake her up but it was too late, way too late. My Mum died in the middle of the night from a heart attack from a stroke. My dad wouldn't of felt the cold from her because he slept on the couch as he was knackered. The weirdest thing was he just got up and phoned the doctors. The doctors came and confirmed what we already knew. The police also came and asked some questions. All my relatives came round to mourn but i just went upstairs and lay on my bed for hours. I think it was at an undertakers my dad asked me if i wanted to see her one last time, i said no,thinking i would just break down, i regret it so much. i really want to see her face and hug her nice warm body again. It didn't really hit me until 3-4 years later, probably November 2018, my birthday is the 18th Nov as my mums is 29th Nov. I just couldn't be happy for either events and it got worse to the point i wouldn't even go outside because i couldn't be bothered. I would call in sick from work (my job is a teaching assistant so not the best idea to call in sick 50% of the time). It got so bad Corey told my boss and i received a call about my health and i confessed to everything and diagnosed myself with minor depression and being a coach potato for 2 months. i'm still sort of like this, yes i go to work but about 10% of the time i call in sick an just lay in bed.
It's been 5 years since my mum tragically passed even though she was perfectly healthy, I miss her deeply and if anyone is going through someone that im going through please try not to turn into me. i even gained weight.
Samantha Northey-Hughes (29th November 1966-28th February 2015) age 48 should be 53
Comments
This has really broken my heart I can鈥檛 imagine how you鈥檙e feeling to lose ur mum is awful I wouldn鈥檛 be able to handle it if I lost my mam I鈥檓 so sorry I鈥檓 an emotional wreck after reading this I鈥檓 always here if you need to talk about anything my heart goes out to you <333
