The point of mental illness is suffering through things you cannot control. Like voices, like doubt, like self-hatred. Does anyone think someone WANTS to be this way? ITS NOT A CHOICE. Try to make your heart rate speed or slow without any outside effort. Just in your head. You can't. It's involuntary, your body just does it.
My emotions, depression, and anxiety are not something I can control on my own. So I will not ever be sorry about the way I think negatively constantly, its unconscious. It's automatic. It's engrained, and it comes from bullying from a very young age when you are developing. It permanently fucks your head and the way you think up. People need to realize the smallest thing can and will fuck some more sensitive people up for LIFE.
Boo hoo, I had a depressed friend that i struggled to stay friends with for 9 years - my life is SO hard, much harder than the person living with these issues inside their heads constantly.
I do have a victim complex, its called mental illness, and it's not a button you can turn OFF/ON. It's not controllable. but I have therapy for that. It doesn't change in 1 fucking day the way you feel about yourself and the negative voices you hear constantly.
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i've had depression and life problems for years but you have to make a change for things to change
I understand where you're coming from and its easier said than done (a lot of ppl dont understand it isnt an easy spot to be in) and I hope you recover nicely as soon as possible, but at the same time I put myself in Johnny's shoes and I dont know if I can actually blame him for doing what he did. I dont know the full story but I read both blogs and it seemed like a really exhausting journey on both ends, my conclusion is it was better for both of you to separate for each other's good so none of you is wrong if that makes sense and yall should stop blaming each other because for the other person you did something wrong but something right for yourself, and therefore detaching from the other was the only answer. And on that note, look for a therapist and not a friend to shelter yourself in bc drawning in your own thoughts is a self-destruction weapon
If you have mental illness you still have to think about the impact you have on others. I had a friend with mental illness, and a lot of what Johnny said is true. It not only drags down the person with mental illness, it also drags down the person they are talking to. I told my friend that I couldn't help them anymore, that I wasn't emotionally prepared to do so, and that they needed to seek out professional help. You need to get help, but you also need to keep your friends out of it. Think about it - mental illness is causing you to be negative. You wouldn't want your friends to also drown in that negativity as well. You can confide in your friends, but your friend can't be your therapist. Johnny isn't emotionally trained to be your therapist, he, like any normal person, can't deal with all that emotional responsibility, especially when he cares about you in a different way than a professional would.
It's not anybody's fault. You were both kids who didn't know any better, but you need to talk to a professional. Posting blogs about how depressed you are in a self-fulfilling prophecy. You are cyclically reminding yourself about how depressed you are; and cementing it in a place that you can continuously revisit. Writing is good for some people, yes, but I can tell from your blogs that these are only making your situation worse. I would log off, and seek professional help if you can. You're not doing yourself any favors on here with these people who only comment for the drama.
alexclow345 for sure! I've taken the steps to become better, but its not easy changing your entire mental state in a very short period of time. All I can do is try and i've been neglecting part of it for a bit so it feels like its getting worse especially in times of panic. :(
saraj10 I understand how you could see it that way, trust me, I do, but I don't get this either. It's not supposed to be an "excuse", it is literally just something I have to live with that I don't actively consciously choose. My point is I would love not to think negatively/victim mentality but it is what comes natural, for some reason. If I could change it in a fast way I 100% would in heartbeat.
And, I wasn't taking anything "out" on anyone. I had just found closure with the best friend thing, where that blog served as the last thing said on how I was treated for 9 years. He, himself, will tell you he was and is an absolute asshole and those feelings (his as well) needed to be addressed and not bottled up anymore. You can't let go of it if you don't get closure. (at least in my case)
sihz you're right. I had been dealing with that loss for the past month or so (after other things I had to deal with were also dealt with, he was the last one) and wrote it out. When i'm emotional I always do this but I realize also I shouldn't have sent it, jsut did that thing where you write something out and wait until you calm down to decide to send it or not. Lots of things in his blog were embellished, but i'm too sick of the energy that comes from him. I do have a therapist and therapy, but honestly ive fell off and missed appointments which should have been the warning sign to it going back downhill.
pokemaster see above comment. I actually said this to him awhile ago when we were still talking. About how I knew these next few years were going to be hard as hell for me, and I haven't honestly went on calls with friends from tengaged due to the negativity. I know they'd let me rant/talk about shit but I do not like making the conversation come to a hault or a "lag" because I said something depressing :S. But again, yeah, I'm in therapy but admittedly I fell off.
sabrinarayexxx - lol what, who are you and why would i care about your input
mental illness can be treated