ended up being sexually abusive. Stories and stories of him trying to force himself onto women, being put in jail at 18, fathers wanting to literally kill him because of him forcing himself onto their daughters is basically all i've heard these past few days and I have knots in my stomach and so many emotions. Maybe it's shock? i dunno.
obviously i cant post this on facebook. The reason he would ditch me constantly was because he didn't know if he could manage to not do that to me when we were alone. I don't know how to feel at all. I got the answers I needed so badly but now i'm even more confused and sad. Because he's going to end up committing or be in prison for his entire life. I care about him so fucking much though and even if I try to make myself not care, it doesnt work. Ever.
I'm glad he watched himself when we were alone, because there were lots of times when that kind of thing could have happened. And everytime, he backed off and ignored me for a few days for it to start all over again. What even is my fucking life right now I didnt ask to fall for every fucking dude that I think needs "saving"
