From the Book of “Clueless Dipshit” in The Bible Part III
When my virgin wife, Rebecca, had told me she was pregnant I was livid. How could she!? Then she explained that no affair had taken place. Like our friends Mary and Joseph, we too were being blessed with a child of God.
I couldn’t believe how fortunate we were! Why us? Certainly we weren’t anything special! Rebecca insisted that she was telling the truth and that it was important for me to just believe and stop asking so many goddamned questions. It was a wonderful time in our marriage!
However, as the years went by and our child continued to grow, I began to become impatient with how ordinary he seemed. I guess I had hoped that having a child of God would somehow bring me closer to understanding him, but here it was six years later and I didn’t really know anything about God except that apparently he was black and kind of looked like my neighbor, Charles.
