WELCOME TO THE FINALE STAGE OF RUBES AND JOCO'S DRAG RACE.
Now we've all been here a long time but it may surprise you to know that whilst you've been playing this game, there has been another game waiting to be played and this is finest stage of them of all to play it on.
We've had 4 regular seasons of this race
We have 4 stunning queens
Every queens needs 4 skills- C. U. N. T
4 is the magic number and we have decided on FOUR key areas we feel we need to be able to see a well-rounded queen and only when we have seen these 4 side by side by side by...side, can we make our final decisions on who will take this crown. We have picked on challenge to represent each season on our race and an associated skills the queen needs to show to stand out from the crowd.
Here is your task for this finale:
Season 1: To present season 1 we want the absolute finest in runway demonstrations with the very best HIGH ELEGANCE ROYALTY looks being served.
Season 2: For this globetrotting season we want to see your unique brand baby! Each queen needs to create a FLAG to show your brand and creativity. Explain the colours, styles, design choices and what it represents about your aesthetic and message as a winner, baby.
Season 3: Lights, Camera, Lipsync. Fairly straight forward- You have free production and style around how this lipsync looks and is presented but it must be from a movie soundtrack and relate to you somehow (whatever this means to you).
Season 4: Time to land the knock-out blow- with your mouth! We want a stand-up comedy routine that incorporates the finest reading skills every queen should have. You must include all the finalist, the other girls that have left, Talian and your mothers in this reading challenge.
ALL GIRLS WILL PRESENT ALL 4- No one will be eliminated before the crowning takes place; this is wide open and anyone can win.
You have 7 days.
We will also crown our top fashionista during the next week as well as our miss congeniality.
Hello my ugly me wanna-bes! I come in peace even tho… I feel your wigs aren’t for the way they are fighting your head.
Either way as sole fashion icon of the world *sideeyes Enobaria* I am here to present one of the girls with the prestigious TOP TOOT AWARD and who better than me? Season 4 crown and top toot award winner?
So… this season the award goes to the girl who had the fire and the hunger to get her mind in the game, accept criticism and apply it to better herself, reaching levels I think she didn’t even knew she had inside her. So it’s with joy and pride that give the TOP TOOT AWARD to…
My flag is based on the idea that sometimes enough fiery desire and pure pressure can create someone who can become powerful, strong and maybe even become royalty
Season 4:
Hello ladies, gentlemen, others and neithers!
My name is Miss Plai Statión, much like the gaming console except with a lot less bytes and lot more RAM, take of that what you will.
Now if you've been living under a rock, or your mum's basement (you know, like I have) you'll know that I'm a massive nerd and what better way to roast my fellows lady bitches than by referencing nerd culture and the like.
Let's start with Miss Kamora. Oh, Kamora. She's like Cyberpunk 2077, so much potential, but just never truly realised and end up in a glitchy mess. Don't get me wrong, I love you Kamora, but you've still got a long way to go until you're ready for release.
Lilla! Now, we all know someone like this. Someone tipped to be the dark horse of the competition but ultimately flopped when it mattered. Who's ever heard of Blinx The Time Sweeper? No? Well I'm not surprised considering she's poorly aged.
Who's next on the docket? Ahhh, Reality Warped. Looks so beautiful and so stylish, but at the same time, so boring and uninspired. She's obviously The Last Of Us Part 2, which would honestly explains the mushroomy smell she has, although that might have been the risotto I ate earlier.
Gemini! The no-skype queen. That girl needs to get with the times! She's like the newer 3d sonic games. Not one specifically, like, all of them. Honestly, she just needs to get with the times and get out the 90's. Or was that sonic? Ah well, point still stands. She must be waiting for the Drag races to move to Discord or something.
Let's move in to Maddox. What would be the best way if describing her? Oh, I know, boring. You know those old game that use those static images you usually get in McDonald's? Yeah, those are a lot more interesting than Maddox, less noisy too.
Ruby Ruby Ruby. So avant garde with her looks yet she never went anywhere due to her having some issues behind the scenes. She's No Man's Sky. Well, at least until it got good with the updates, wish its something that could be said for Ruby.
Caia! My sister! And much like any good sister, I have a deep undying rivally with you. You are the Bowser to my Bowser Jr, in which I mean you're a huge old dinosaur. And I can't wait for the time when you kick the bucket and I can take all those crowns you've collected over the years.
Madame Monroe, the kiwi queen! I'd ask for a smile but your teeth look like they haven't seen a brush since the British invaded. Let's play a little drag queen DnD with Madame here. Hips: 15 Breasts: 16 Personality: 19 Face: Natural 1.
Speaking of natural, that's a word that doesn't describe Enobaria. Have you seen her dancing? She looks like a malfunctioning android from Detriot: Become Human! And the less said about her slots the better. I've seen inflatable tube men with better movement than her.
Now onto the inflatable sex doll herself, T'Kay Runwae! Good thing has got a high charisma stat on our drag dnd because her intelligence and wisdom are probably both 1s. Honestly, is you tell her to point out China on a map she'll probably point to Pluto.
Now let's talk Talian. A good, strong pair of hands! Literally, have you seen the size of them!? You could carry water in those things! All she needs is no arms and legs and she'll be just like Rayman! Or would that be Raygirl?
Finally, our wonderful hosts and judges Eden and Rubes! Those two are just inseparable! They're like Ratchet and Clank, one's a mass of hair and the other one is a robot who always speaks in pleasantries. I'll let you decide which one is which.
And there we go! It's been great but all good things must come to an end. In that case this season will probably last until Christmas. Good night everyone!
(Season 1) Runway: https://prnt.sc/1arh2m5
This look is giving royalty to a tee and I'm also changing things up with my silhouette while also giving you exactly what you'd expect from a T'Kay runway, which is polish and perfection. What more could you possibly ask for?
(Season 2) Flag: https://prnt.sc/1argvmw
Honestly this flag is super woke and also personal to me! The four leaf clover obviously is a reference to my username nateCLOVE and has been known as a good luck charm in the past. It's golden to represent my royal status if I win, of course. Additionally, the other colours in the flag are also representing other aspects of myself. The red represents my dynamic nature and my refusal to give up, which is not something most of the cast can relate to. The white represents my polish, as can be seen with my runways and my challenge performances. Lastly, the dark orange is representative of my fearlessness and determination to win and my freedom of expression and sexuality.
(Season 3) Lipsync: https://youtu.be/yVfULwWFFb0
This song was featured in the "After" soundtrack and although the movie is trash, the song is fierce! I think it represents me because I'm a dangerous woman in this competition.
(Season 4) Stand Up: T'Kay Runwae's Business Class for Idiots Part 2: The Remix
Heyyy students, it's moi, your milf-y business teacher, T'Kay, and welcome to T'Kay Runwae's Business Class for Idiots Part 2: The Remix.
Now, some of you might be wondering - where the hell is part one? Well, what imma need you to do is head on over to Rubes and Joco's Drag Race season 4 and read through that cause bitch, this the damn sequel!
The first thing we're gonna be learning about today is a PEST, and no, I'm not talking about Plai Station being in the final 4.
PEST actually stands for Political, Economic, Social and Technological! But if that's too hard you can always remember it through the analogy "Penis Enters Sex...um... Tooch?" Yeah... let's go with that.
If you still haven't grasped the concept... then, well, you're kinda stupid, but I'll explain it more in detail now!
☆ Political - This is an analysis of the political state of a country! So think Donald Trump, vaginas, old white men - things like that. Fun fact, Gemini told me that SHE actually grabbed Donald Trump's pussy once because of her attraction to old men! *whispers* Watch out, Talian.
☆ Economic - This includes stuff like the GDP (Gross Douching Products), GNP (Grandma's Naughty Pu[CENSORED]), and importing of foreign porn stars for white people to fetishize! Almost like Caia Alexander changing ethnicities every other season!
☆ Social - This is the boring stuff like demographics and age range. For example, Joco thinking its funny to prank the cast and tell them Enobaria wasn't being saved helped me to determine that he's actually in the 65-75 year old age range! Talk about boomer humor...
☆ Technological - We have no budget this season and therefore can't afford any good technology. Just look at the app Rubes uses to make all of her looks. Also, girl, they had to cast Kamora. Damn. The budget really fell through huh...
Class isn't over yet! I still have one more thing to teach you about tonight! It's a model I developed myself called the MDC (men dot com) model! It helps to determine a person's psychological state and porn preferences based on their names and looks! Here's an example!
☆ I've calculated that people named Reality Warped have a 96% chance of watching teacher-student videos because he's such a bad, bad boy. *winks at Reality* See me after class...
☆ Next up, people named Talian have been typing "how to make hole tight again" into xvideos because they don't know how the internet works!
☆ Lastly, people who are named... and quite frankly who look like... Ruby Velvet are likely to search up "daddy" porn because... well, I'm sure I don't have to spell that out for you. I hope you're not THAT clueless.
Class is almost over! Yay! Now all that's left is a pop quiz!!!!! *class groans* Oh don't be like that! This quiz is super easy!
☆ Question 1: Which one of the following is TRUE?
A. Maddox and Lilla not quitting every season that they compete in.
B. Enobaria not being a pussy and deleting her shady comments towards Caia after her elimination.
C. turkeylover actually being talented.
D. None of the above!
☆ Question 2: If x^2-2ax+a^2=0x2−2ax+a2=0, find the value of {x}{a}ax.
A. 155
B. 1935
C. I sent nudes to Madame and now she stands outside my house at night, please send help.
D. 7
☆ Question 3: Fill in the blanks!
R&J Drag Race is rigged for E_______a.
Bam! That quiz is over! If you passed, I'm very proud of you! But if you failed, you're fucking dumber than I thought. Damn, no wonder your parents like your brother more *dodges tomato* Oops... too close to home? *bites nail*
Well, that's it for me kiddies! Reality, remember to meet me after class! Everyone else can leave! This has been T'Kay Runwae's Business Class for Idiots Part 2: The Remix. Byeeeeeee!
Season 1: My elegant and lux finale look is fit for a queen
Season 2: God Save the Flags!
Madame Monroe, and infamous Haus of Monroe, represents beauty while not being one dimensional. Madame in particular is a mix of Sex, Horror and Elegance. My flag had a red Fleur-de-lis ⚜️, the symbol that represents Royalty and Power. The main flag is Matte black with many small stars shining in the dark, to represent the struggle for me to shine bright in this competition as well as taking my skills and sharing it to my daughters. The shape of my flag almost looks like a royal banner on its side, which almost gives it a Game of Thrones style.
Season 3:
This is song is “Diamonds” by Normani ft Meghan Thee Stallion. I chose this song because it’s got lots of lyrics which I have memorised, as well as the overall theme of Diamonds and elegance in this final challenge.
Season 4: Comedy Roast
Welcome everyone to the roast of R&J’s All Stars! Our victims?
Everyone who had to put up with Rubes and Nijoco!
I’m just kidding 🤭
Rubes and Joco may seem like the RuPaul and Michelle Visage of drag. In reality however, they’re more like Bert and Ernie.
Moving onto the fashion queen of the season, Plai Station. For someone named after a console you sure weren’t the main character of this story. We’re still waiting for you to update your software, and by that I mean your wardrobe.
The Lipsync assassin, T’Kay Runwae. The queen giving bisexual tease when she can’t decide on sims, photoshop or IMVU…so she gets confused and fucks the judges. With an annoying name like T’Kay Runwae, you make LaGanja sound normal. Okurrrrr.
Next up, the Barb herself Enobaria. The queen who’s strength is her taste of fashion yet doesn’t have the best track record despite half the challenges being runway based. Enobaria is such a white twink she cums when the transition from Chromatica II to 911 happens.
Talian the It Pennywise of Italy. This old hag is so blind she gave Plai a top toot. Talian is so Italian she smokes weed with Penne Pasta instead of papers. Talian is so bad at singing when she sung “I’m the Star” a third of her cast quit AS1.
Now the eliminated queens. Buckle up bitches.
Kamora! Who dat? Congrats on being apart of the cast? I guess *shrugs*
Lilla, my sinister sister. Of course by sinister I mean your makeup looks that of a man.
Reality Warped! You being in the cast didn’t make sense with my French vanilla fantasy anyways.
Gemini. The sign of two personalities. Which is ironic because we saw zero this season!
Maddox. My sweet former drag daughter. Based on your track record I’m glad you aren’t a Monroe.
Ruby Velvet. For such an expensive name you couldn’t hire a ghostwriter for your raps.
Caia Alexander. The big boobied queen. It’s a shame the air from your inflated tits went to your head. How is your head?
If you like me my name is Madame Monroe, the expensive and sexy queen of the season. If you didn’t like my comedy my name is Rubes and Nijoco. Thank you 💎.
For this look I wanted to embody what I love the most: Art. I am a white canvas and I use myself as a way to expression.
Season 2:
For my flag, I wanted to portrait a lot of the things I feel represents me:
This isn't a squared flag cause I don't feel I can actually fit in a rectangle. My life got ups and downs that gave me an unique shape, such as everyone of us.
The dawn represents that no matter how bad things are for you right now, the sun will come up every single day, and you'll have a now chance to do things right. I always try to be optimistic and think on how bright the sun will be after night.
All the colors of the pride flag represents that light always brings joy, and that there's always a pot of golf at the end of the rainbow, cause there's joy on being yourself, and I feel so authentic right now.
The clouds represents those things that sometimes wanna hide the sky from us, but the clouds are also passengers, they're little in comparison with the sky, and won't stay long.
The water is patience, our deep thoughts and our dreams, and the reflection of the sun talks about how combining those two things we're gonna be able to fulfill our dreams.
Season 3:
For my lipsync, I went for My Immortal form Evanescence. This song always touches my soul and speaks to me really close right now.
Season 4:
Hello everyone!
What a beautiful evening are we having tonight, right?
My name is Enobaria, yes, like the girl from the Hunger Games. You know, the one that's mean, malicious, with her pointed teeth, willing to do anything for the win. And you could say we are the same. But you're wrong! I'm not actually a girl, so...
But let's stop talking about me, please. Let's just look at the gorg... *looks at the girls* the... cast of this season.
When I look at Caia, all I can think of is the film "Titanic": Big production, seventy Oscar nominations... And every time I see it I hope the ending is different, but it always ends up with the protagonist sinking in the ocean. I guess silicone doesn't always float.
Let's just be honest for a second. This time, Gemini deserved better: Better looks, better challenges, better personality. She can have a lot of flaws, but we all know there's something she will never have... A Skype account.
Sometimes it's hard for me to differenciate Reality and Maddox. I don't know why, it's just a struggle that I have. But then, I remember Reality had a poor track record, she quitted, and she was part of the prison break and Maddox... too.
Oh... Ruby. It's so hard for me to read Ruby. I mean, she's my girl. But really, she write in f*cking hieroglyphs, I can't understand anything she says or does! She's taking the "conceptual" thing to another galaxy, to me she's like "C'mon Backyardigan, teleport us to Venus!" (The original phrase is subject to copyright, my lawyer Suzanne doesn't let me use it).
Talian... Another one of my friends and the girl from Drag the Hags...
Talian is so nasty that if someday she decides to give her body to the Lord Jesus Christ, the archangel Gabriel will descend from Heaven to tell her: "Please don't".
I said to myself "don't make jokes about Talian's age, that would be too obvious". But, seriously, the main reason she's still alive is that neither God or the Devil wanna take charge of her.
Now our lovely hosts! Rubes and Nicky! Let's give them a round of applause.
Rubes and Nicky remind me to the Javis, you know? The judges from Drag Race Spain. They always work together, one of them is old, give wise advices and has good taste but weird hair, the other one is young, it's more spicy and is kind of a mess. And both pairs have some seasons with very controversial characters. Except the Javis do have success.
And I can't forget my fellow companions on the Top 4
Something I really, really admire from Plai is that she always stands firm in her convictions. "Plai, do an entrance look, it can be anything you want" And she appears as a Geek. "Plai, can you try to be a little more elegant?" And she appears as a Geek. "Plai, you literally have to wear a gown this time" And she appears as a Geek. I mean, she's like pikachu: after 24 seasons, she still refuses to evolve.
I must admit is not easy to see T'Kay. Yeah, seeing her fail constantly in every race she's in is painful to watch. Luckily, she will always have the Title of "Most side prizes's winner": Miss Congeniality, Top Toot Award, Ball Winner, Most hot dogs eaten at Untucked. Congratulations, sis.
And last and certainly least, Madame Monroe. Madame is the living proof that if a movie is gonna be a flop, a couple of good sex scenes are enough to get a blockbuster. She's certanly gonna make more money with her side career than with the crown. Instead of "Only cash", she said "Only fans".
Well, I think that's it!
And remember, if you liked my show, my name is Enobaria, and if you don't... it's also Enobaria. It doesn't matter if you guys talk good or bad, just keep talking about me, okay? That's what gives me money.
Tik Tok, the memes.. that's where the cash is now, you know?
Welcome to the finale stage of Rubes and Joco’s All Stars 1!!!
We saw what our queens brought to this finale and tonight based on their performances throughout the competition AND their finale performances we have made some decisions and will crown a WINNER!!!
Ok…we have made some decisions…
Enobaria, Madame, Plai, T’Kay
You have all worked amazingly hard this season and showed Joco, Talian and I what you can do and I am extremely happy with this final 4 and what you produced in this last challenge!
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I’m sorry girl but you will have to clench your arse a little longer because you one of the Top 2 All Stars of the season!!!
Condragulations!
