01. anders bagge - starting off with the trade of the season. the visual attack. the sex bomb. i know me and hellocat moved so much. this song has quite the nostalgic quality to it. everytime i listen to it i think of that BLM pepsi commercial. it also reminds me of the safaris at disney world. very majestic very regal but u can also taste the ketchup on anders' beard as he's belting out these words. u know? mcdonalds. this is all to say that this song is AMAZING (which is to say.. it's horrendous, but oh so good<3).
02. sandy lam - PAROLE? her french<3lurv<3 era? amazing. even though i haven't returned much to it, i'd probably slot 'speechless lady' as one of my favorite sends from last year. so i had high hopes! and wow i must check out this project in full. this built so well and so sexily. women with perfect pussies giving birth. u wouldn't get it. this is a SLAAAY.
03. maría isabel - smooth and subtle and a lidl bit of mhmmmmmmmsex. in a bloated week like this (BRING BACK SEMIS PEOPLE ARE DYING...) i find songs like these to be a little hard to stand out but i can tell u i did playlist.... and u know what maria isabel u are a survivor. and u will survive this.
04. alisa xayalith - i've never heard such a specific demographic bait song LMAO cause the sarah kinsley girls are going to claw their eyes out and yank out their wigs for this tune. the sender is so big brained launching this landmine for all u little gay men to feast AHHH. and i get it i do! it's not a terribly exciting song but it's also not trying to be one, deeeefinetly feels like a slow burner. could see myself levitating to this three months from now. as it stands? very good! we liked!
05. RARIA - the irreperable damage tate mcrae has done to the music industry. this was very middle of the road and bad. it was giving lauren spencer smith. do you know who that is? precisely. BOOOO TOMATO TOMATO. this is why we need communism
06. froukje - this was nice! maybe a bit TOO lowkey for my preferred taste range, but i respect it through an objective lense. yes. a bit delicious. when skam france gets their grubby little paws on this. is that still airing i wonder? i loved that little gay boy. but yes this is too nordic for me i'm afraid! but i like it :)
07. moses sumney - he is so gorgeous. not in this weeknd old man drag. but if u've seen the clips and the media and the news u would know. is the song? well. started out as one of thooose songs which i RESPECT more than properly want to listen to until it all picked up the pace and came full circle in the end. still respect it more than i like it, but i like it quite a bit!
08. LUNA - o_o no... never this. absolutely not. maybe if she wanted to be like JANET instead she would've slayed! booo!
09. MUNA - im glad theyre still alive and kicking. not for me but for jacksonjoseph99. i wonder where she is right now. probably looping this on repeat and u know what? i'll pray for her. i really will. anyways this is mmmmmmmhmm it is awright! cute! a bit... unmemorable? honestly MUNA do always get sent every year at least once and get their respective 11th-15th placement. maybe it's time to hang it up, no? but then again this wasn't BAAAAD. just ok! they've done better:)
10. ibeyi - now this is what i'm talking about. woof woof WOOF. im so into patrick319 alt rnb beats right now like yessssss give me exactly what i need. i do love canada. i have no idea who ibeyi is but i will be checking more from her stat! and i did grin at my FATHER pa salieu being here like yessss. obviously he did his thing here. very very VERY good very solid very up my alley i like this a bunch mhm mhm mhm!
11. natalia gordienko - gets locked in
#that wine cellar sm. iykyk. u know i do like this, although i do think time is not doing this piece justice. the BEATS are the forefront of this tune like u know the bit where the synths are WRESTLING with each other and there are no vocals oh a recap bait if i ever heard one. a very camp song but i do not know if it will make my TOP TEN in a week so stacked. with songs!
12. misscatylove - AHHH this avant garde ambient masterPEACE. when will aphex twin?? when will sarah brand. when will bjork?!
13. sub urban & bella poarch - and as of right now bella poarch's entire discography has been sent to tengaged song contest. RAINHA! QUEEN OF POP! vem ao brazil? never that. not until she releases her bop with loren gray that me and ian are wandavisioning into reality. this is urmmm... hahahahaha... ok! actually it's quite bad but certainly an improvement over her first song. but the fact she gets referenced as the only ''''good'''' artist to come out of tiktawk by the Culture™, this is why addison rae is gatekeeping her f*ckin music!!!!!! FOUL!!!!!!!!!!
14. school gyrls - keeping the spirit of tv+film week alive and u know what? i respect that. this is an amazing tune. it was giving me GIRLICIOUS..... it was giving me PARADISO GIRLS..... a bit of SARASWATI...... a bit of MOTOMAMI....... if u know u know. i just find this to be so highly intelligent.
15. mondo grosso - a delicious house bop for those introverted girls who loooooove mitski. i'm of course the exception because i do not like mitski. but i love this. like yes. built so nicely and rocked my world upside down. is there an extended mix? i want an extended mix. i am seeing MIXES i will dive into them later. UA has a writing credit.... ofmggg.g this is so serious to me right now. VERY GOOD!!!!!
16. barns courtney - THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS. an opportunity for u girls to STEP the HELL out of my neck and let me breathe. this is a funny little tune, an intermission if u will. this reminds me of that very dated bishop briggs pop that has aged like a... *rolls wheel of milk* ...sigrid project on a hot sunny day. that is to say BUTT SWEAT MILK. disney world cart ride seat milk. and u know i did get some mileage out of this but did i enjoy? hmmmno. but i know the sender is a slayer whoever u are... i love u.
17. primo the alien - designated synthpop woman with the nasty odorous beats a small group of u will stan.... honestly the irreperable damage drew sycamore has done to the community. this song is so funny too like it's just the hook over and over again. she was so proud of this and honestly? u go primo the alien. keep on being ur smelly self. not for me but i know others will love u
18. yola - i find yola to be someone i can enjoy in the right mood. thankfully u got me ready to listen to some neo soul beats. i like this! i honestly cannot remember how starlight goes but i remember not particularly moving. having been told that this is basically that song with drums then i think we should put those drum machines in the studios stat!!! i enjoyed this mhm. very intricate and beautiful and also like... bopping? my hips were swaying to the march of those drums. like a dungeon dragon
19. the maine - i hate seeing white men happy. the irreperable damage *rolls wheel of milk* ...DNCE has done to the music community. all these men with trite nu disco songs and their SMILING FACES i have had about IT. dermatologists stop dabbling in music challenge. this is alfie templeman's fault by the way
20. naomi sharon - ouuuu how long until the tiktok selina kyle edit girls find her. this is very zoe kravitz spotify playlist MHM. i find this to be very very very beautiful. like i said, not particularly EXCITING but that's not the point at all. a very groovy, cater2u piece. very good.
21. mother mother - i mean............ this was definetly recorded
22. tank and the bangas - absolutely will always eat up a slice of rnb funk done well and yesssssss yes yes yes absolutely. like jessica simpson i am a girl stepping out on a public affair to THIS beat. so funky and fresh and groovin and happening.... i think i'm in love quite frankly. she is so pretty
23. josef salvat - i used to have time for josef. i really did. but it's 2022. growing up and moving on is essential towards living a fulfilled life. and so is getting a job. anyways i was ready to eat my words and reluctantly stan this but aside from the running 80s beat that was interesting for all of 30 seconds, this really didn't go anywhere did it? bit WHELMED O_O
24. sex whales & roger geezer - i was so excited to listen to this when i saw the thumbnail and it did not disappoint. an avant garde ambient masterpiece part two. gorgeous instrumentation. alan walker was ended yet again
25. chase icon - this is probably one of the most straightforward [polite word for generic] pieces of music chase icon has produced, but i still got a fair amount of mileage out of it. it was giving me 2010 myspace music. tila tequila before the gnazi allegations. chris crocker beats. i like it! a bop!
26. dolores forever - i feel a bit icky speaking on this because this is just aly & AJ. this reminds me of the little kpop groups they used to form in the 90s to copy TLC and steal from them. but it's white on white crime so u know, who is really losing? and who is really winning? i am with this symptom of your touch ripoff oh WOW how gorgeous. a very very gorgeous piece of indie pop for the girls who like a bit of sunshine and a bit of drama in their peugeot rides to the beach. i am living laughing and loving so much! the final chorus in particular did grab me by the neck. gorgeous! and u know what they say. finders keepers cc @alyson and aj michalka HA HA HA.
27. stray kids - just gonna say this outfront i can't make the music not bop. i really cannot make the music not bop stop making that face i really cannot make the music not bop. can stray kids make the music not bop? oh yes. but they didn't here. was hyunjin as the only slayer from stray kids given creative control? in a world post aespa - savage every kpop group wants their little piece of rah rah '''''noise''''' disjointed masterpiece. case in point, these verses are ASS. stop rapping. stop letting the ugly men RAP. take.away.their.mics. ohhhhh the little screechy one ... that's eminem's son DEROGATORY... i'm gonna step on his grizzly little face. however the CHORUS? the BRIDGE? oh yes. quite scrumptious. kangaroo jack and hyunjin really came together to bring some CUNT into a stray kids song and where were you? where were you when they slayed like this? i remember where i was. like wow. the collapse. my grippling parasocial relationship with one of the members of stray kids (me and hyunjin talk every day!!) has unfortunately made this song bop for me. let this be a cautionary tale. cause i think these men slayed! u know what i change my mind unironically this song is a HIT front to back do not make that face. because i'm right LIKE IT OR NOT. and i forgive them for every malice [song] they've ever done. but will God? well,
28. MONOIR - AHHHHHHHH. i mean. what can i say. i do love the irish! ireland is a very beautiful country. i love their music landscape i love their artists ok i love SOME of their artists. and even though this is the greatest musical achievement to be exported from ROMANIA, i can't help but feel like denise chaila was in the studio in the making of this? because it comes across as so evil sometimes. very demonic energy. but we stan monoir irish here we do. ill always have a very tiny, pending space for it in my heart.
29. rob rackstraw - i honestly do not feel comfortable looking at that train face and i never have. is this what u all grew up with? how scarring
30. samuraï - heard of her! and heard this as well. like froukje i think this is for the more SCANDINAVIAN girls although froukje did outsell by quite a bit in my. opinion. it just feels quite uncooked to me idk. a very dour appetizer. it just does not bop for me :( but it's like ok. she has potential
31. rocket punch - had this on my list! i was skeptical towards giving it a send myself because as far as 80's sounding kpop goes u all like to mention dua lipa's name because none of u have any other notable reference to 80s sounding music like okay. this is ACTUALLY very 2nd generation. and u'd know if u were there. KARA would've been so proud like this is basically a sweetune production! they made this for ME with ME specifically in mind. and i am eating it up like honestly this is just the greatest piece of music ever recorded with like recorded machines. whoever sent this come get ur big fat smooch but also watch ur back .