i have only the finale left in my rewatch and there's a 99% chance that that won't change anything unless jerri is like way better than i remember or something so here is my cast ranking
DISLIKE
20. Candice -- Candice's contributions to the season were totally cockblocking a power play to get Russell out, some boring gamebotting confessionals pre-merge that could easily have gone to Rupert or Colby, and then a jury speech where she compares an alliance to domestic abuse. No thanks, Candice! I will say that I don't even /strongly/ dislike her because she is basically irrelevant, so the fact that she's dead last for the season showcases that this really was a strong group of 20 where a lot of people delivered. And also I find her vote-off pretty satisfying and hilarious.
MILD DISLIKE
19. Stephenie -- #TeamJames She is annoying and I am happy she was out early. Didn't contribute a lot to the storyline other than being the object of James's ire. w/e.
18. Amanda -- She was fun in the fight with Danielle but that is it. Amanda seems like a nice enough person but she is just so bland on TV 95% of the time. In a season like China I am willing to overlook it because just being nice and likable actually makes her an okay presence when the other contestants include bores like Denise, but in a star-studded season like HvV it makes me wonder why she is there. As with Candice, I wish more of her generic gamebotting air time had gone to virtually anyone else on her tribe and I don't think it's a coincidence that the episode where Amanda got the most confessionals on her tribe was the weakest episode of the season.
NEUTRALITY
17. Tyson -- meh
16. Cirie -- meh. Very mild points for her fun opening confessional and the fact that she played the same exact game and it almost worked out, but really those are just nitpicking. It's more than Tyson brought but still, she was toneless and irrelevant. Still love Cirie Fields the human being but Cirie Fields the HvV character was barely around at all.
15. Sugar -- meh. Very mild points for the brief Colby obsession but that was one scene out of the entire season.
MILD LIKE
14. Russell -- What a hard fucking character to rank. The reasons why he is this low are pretty obvious: He was overrated and won fan favorite, he was a self-aggrandizing delusional ass, he was a sexist pig. The same things that are always present when you have Russell, basically. But the reason why I actually /like/ him overall this season is because unlike in Samoa, where we're supposed to root for him, and unlike in RI, where his loss is painted as the reason why his tribe doesn't win.. in this season the entire point of the jury phase was that Russell was an idiotic douchebag and let's just sit around and watch him make horrible decisions and everyone else laugh at him and then trash him at FTC. It is a fucking beautiful storyline. For the only time in Survivor history we were given a semi-accurate depiction of Russell and I HAVE to appreciate that. I don't like Russell but I would be lying if I said I didn't fucking adore all of his contributions to this season. I got more entertainment out of watching him do things wrong than out of watching anyone else do things right... however, he is also still Russell Hantz, so I find it hard to put him above the people I unreservedly enjoyed.
13. Danielle -- Much shorter write-up for her because she fits the "mild like" label better. I feel bad for her in her boot episode and I really like her jury speech, but those are the only two times she was ever on screen. I think there were something like five straight confessionals where DDL didn't get a confessional and I did not even realize it until I looked at the chart for something else. Blown away by how irrelevant she was to this storyline.
12. Randy -- Sympathetic boot episode, but that's it. It's kinda hard to appreciate someone who is crazy UTR in two of his episodes, but I like him in the CPP boot. Every time I watch it I feel bad for him and wish that he had gone further, but at the end of the day I hardly think of him as a member of this cast because he was out so soon and got so little focus.
LIKE
11. Parvati -- Maybe opening up a can of worms by putting her in my bottom half but oh well. The fact is that going into my third (and probably final?) HvV watch, I remembered her as being surprisingly irrelevant the second time I watched it, and coming out of it.. I feel the same. I will give her credit where credit is due and say that she was fun when she was around, which is why she does so well in this. Her blatant anti-Russell sentiments in the last couple episodes, her constant embracing of the villain role, and her in the F11/F10 episodes were all very fun.. but a majority of the time she just wasn't a huge part of the season. She was fun but not nearly one of the biggest characters.
10. Colby -- This is probably a fuckton of Australia bias that made me pay more attention to Colby than I had any reason to, but whatever, I like the guy. I root for him as an underdog, I'm happy he's the last Hero standing, I find it hilarious when he has over-the-top celebrations on the sideline, and never forget that it was him who dreamed up the Candice boot -- Rupert came up with the fake Idol but Colby knew how to use it effectively. He also has some unintentionally hilarious moments at the family visit, in the premiere when he has no idea who anyone else is because he doesn't really care about Survivor anymore, when he watches Treasure Island, and when he gets crazily indignant about Candice in her boot episode. His contributions to the season may have been small but they were among my favorites and I am happy he was there.
9. James -- I strongly, unreservedly like HvV James as a Survivor character. I think this was his best season. First of all people who say "James sucked, he turned into a villain" are REALLY overstating it. Even if you think James was the scum of the Earth in his villain moments, guess what, those still only last half of episode two and approximately twenty seconds of one challenge in episode three. That's it. For almost all of his six-episode run James was the same character that he was in China or Micronesia and it gave us some fun moments. He made random Superman comparisons, he dropped Simpsons references, he talked about banana etiquette, he talked about his grandma ripping chicken heads off. He was the same James 90% of the time so even if you hate him with the Stephenie thing, that's barely significant in the whole James storyline.
And of course I am also firmly #TeamJames in the Stephenie storyline, for a number of reasons, which bumps him up even higher. But even if it weren't for that he still would place at like #11 because the whole "James was a douchebag in HvV!!" thing is way, way overblown because it only applies to like two scenes out of the entire season. Most of the time he was Regular James and I like Regular James. To me it's just the cherry on top of the sundae that he called out Stephenie for her obnoxious self-aggrandizing overhyped rubbish, but even if you don't feel that way, well, there's still like five and a half episodes of James doing other things and I don't know why people only talk about the half an episode where he was presented in a less favorable light.
Also I guarantee you that if he were smaller and white, people wouldn't have hated him as much when he fought with Stephenie. Jussayin'.
8. Courtney -- Barely on screen but whenever she was it was awesome. Her role as a simultaneous foil to Jeff Probst, Russell Hantz, and Coach Wade was, although minor, a glorious one indeed, and Courtney/Sandra becoming BFFs is the kind of thing that seems so obvious in hindsight but is unbelievably awesome the first time you see it.
STRONG LIKE
7. Tom -- Loved his morph from the absolute dominant badass of old-school Survivor to the underdog who had to adapt to new-school Survivor. It showed him in a totally different light that I found very interesting and I am happy that they gave such a strong edit to one of the all-time legends even though he wasn't from a recent season and only lasted five episodes. He's charismatic and had a good storyline. A lot of it was gamebotting so I can't put him higher, but gamebotting the way he did under the circumstances in which he did it hardly feels like gamebotting at all so he deserves top seven.
6. Jerri -- With more air time she could easily have been in the top two for the season. It is a testament to how much natural charisma and star power Jerri has that she managed to do so well in this ranking even with a fairly small edit. Jerri managed to fill so many different roles throughout the season. She was the cutthroat player who was willing to cut Danielle's throat for her own game while Danielle was sobbing; she was the emotional person who immediately felt bad about betraying Rob. She was the same old bitchy character who gave us hilarious quotes about how Rupert is incredibly stupid; she was the adorable sweetheart who proclaimed herself to be "swimming in yay" when she won a challenge. I really wish I could put Jerri higher but she just didn't get a big enough edit, but she definitely got a bigger one than I remembered so I'm happy to put her in my top six. Just about every time she was on screen, it made the scene better. And who would have thought 10 years before this season aired that eventually freaking Jerri Manthey would be the person who got the Rudy/Kathy/etc spot of being too popular and strong of a player to take to the end?? After watching the finale and reflecting on it more I could see her going one or two spots higher in this ranking and with a bigger edit I have no doubt that she would have been in the top two.
5. JT -- My problem with JT in Tocantins is that he played very, very well while being very, very inoffensive. This season, he played very, very poorly while being very, very entertaining. He seriously could not have done more of a 180. He went from being the guy best known for playing a "heroic" unanimous victory to being the villain who completely sunk his game and tribe. Also he owns Russell in the FTC. Basically, I thought it was a really fun new angle to watch him form 100 alliances and betray everyone on the Heroes tribe, I thought it was hilarious to watch him give up the Idol, I thought he had way more TV charisma this time than the time before, and above all else, if JT hadn't given up the Idol then we would have had an endgame featuring Amanda and Candice rather than one featuring Jerri and Sandra. So basically, JT single-handedly made the season awesome. Way to go, JT!!!
< 3
4. Rob -- I know that after HvV aired, Rob was pretty much unilaterally beloved in the online community. His reputation obviously tanked in that community after his cringeworthy RI apperance, but to me RI Rob doesn't affect HvV Rob at all -- I still love him as much as I always have in this season. He provided an awesome, likable foil to Russell and I loved watching the guy who single-handedly made Maraamu a train wreck come back as a grown-up father and complain about being on the "buffoon tribe." Was his positive edit totally out of line with reality? Sure. Was he a blatant production pet? Of course. But it made the season better, it made the storyline better, it gave us someone to root for against Russell, and it ultimately set up Sandra's killer winning storyline, so I'm totally okay with all of those things. Rob was a great and vital addition to this storyline and I'm happy he brought everything he did.
< 3 < 3
3. Rupert -- Say what you will but I fucking love Rupert Boneham. I think that he is one of the most unique, fascinating, complex, entertaining people Survivor has ever cast. He could sit down and read the phonebook and he would probably be more compelling than a third of all other contestants could be talking about absolutely anything. The guy has so much natural TV personality and star power every time he opens up his mouth. That's something I can't even really convey in a write-up; just watch your average Rupert confessional where he goes from 10 decibels to 100 within the span of a single sentence. We see that more in Pearl Islands than in HvV, but it is definitely still present. He is ultimately the same melodramatic guy and the same guy who I think provides such interesting moments as he tries to play black and white in a game that is often morally gray and as he tries to be an asset to the tribe while having no idea he is really a nuisance.
And when it comes to this season specifically, Rupert was a huge foil to Russell, which is just marvelous because I don't really like Russell. I mean here you have the self-proclaimed "biggest villain in Survivor history", and he has a running feud with the most popular contestant (besides Jessie Camacho) to ever play the game. I love every second of it. That is the kind of thing you can only dream of having happen in an all-star season. His storyline with Russell is the total picture of what should happen in a returning player season, and it was mixed in with all the typical Rupert traits: the melodrama of him calling Russell "Satan" and a "disgusting human being", the black and white morality of his total astonishment that Russell would lie on the name of his family.
Rupert was freaking amazing this season and I am so happy he made it as far as he did. I don't love him in the same way a majority of fans do. The guy has so little self-awareness and I certainly don't want him to /win/.. but I want him to stuck around as long as possible because somebody like this is inherently great for any storyline you throw him into. Rupert is the kind of contestant who will always, always deliver and this season was no exception. I wish he had won Fan Favorite and I think it is fitting to have him as my favorite Hero.
2. Coach -- ..what do you even SAY about HvV Coach? I loved Coach this season. Totally exceeded my expectations. I know that he became MUCH more popular after HvV than he was after Tocantins and really it's no wonder why that was the case. Somehow they managed to take Coach this season and simultaneously give him a more complex, humanizing edit while also treating him as an even more blatant joke than they had in the past and it was glorious to watch. He was ultimately the same comic relief character he was in Tocantins -- which I love because his Tocantins incarnation is one of the greatest characters in Survivor history as far as I'm concerned -- and this time nobody even pretended to take him seriously for a second, not even Probst. But then in the episode where Rob went home we actually got a TON of complexity for Coach where he was so torn as his ideas about what was moral conflicted with the objective, strategic mindset he was supposed to have, and his desire to please everyone led to him talking himself into a hole.. that's fucking vintage Survivor right there! That's total old-school stuff about moral struggles! How the hell did COACH became an old-school moral struggle character? While ALSO being laughed at openly by Jeff Probst? I don't know how they made it work but they did. Coach was fucking great this season.
< 3 < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3
1. Sandra -- Could I give the #1 spot to anyone else? No. Not even close. Sandra in HvV is, point blank, one of my absolute favorite characters in the history of Survivor. Basically when this season came along, Russell was at the apex of his popularity. Nobody in Survivor history has EVER needed a fall as badly as Russell did in HvV.. and Sandra gave it to him like nobody else could. NOBODY else could have filled Sandra's shoes this season. She openly insulted and targeted Russell "insult or target me and you go home next" Hantz every single day for over a month, and then she won. She totally got away with it. She burned his hat, she told him he sucked at math, she pushed him away when he tried to micromanage, she burned his hat, she talked down to him primarily in confessionals but also in his face, she talked about how he smelled like an ass-crack, she got him to vote out Coach based on absolutely nothing, she BURNED HIS HAT. I love it. I love, love, love every second of Sandra hating Russell and it makes her win one of the most satisfying ever in Survivor.
Sandra herself also got a lot of complexity in the last couple episodes that I didn't even remember. I totally forgot about Sandra's sympathetic upturn at the end. I vaguely remembered something about her husband being in the war but I forgot just how much it played into the way they sold her to the audience, and I didn't remember anything about her mother passing. Adds that much more complexity to her and makes her that much easier to root for.
Sandra's winning storyline is also one of the most unique ones because it was told through two people. In episode one, they clearly linked Sandra and Rob. Then in episodes two through seven, they built up Rob as this big anti-Russell force who was going to totally kick his ass and take him out.. but then, oops, Russell wins the feud. And the very SECOND that Rob is out of the game, Sandra starts getting air time, Sandra starts fighting with Russell every single episode, Sandra starts making him look like a douche. They totally had Rob hand the torch off to Sandra and I cannot think of anything else like it in the history of Survivor. And they foreshadowed it in the very beginning in what was ostensibly a "people laugh at Coach" scene: Sandra told Rob to write her a check... to Sandra, the /winner/, from himself, the /loser./ Love it.
And then, best of all, you have the fact that Sandra became the official Queen of Survivor. You have a horrendously unathletic mother who doesn't know how to swim and never won a single challenge being the first and only two-time winner in the history of Survivor. And I fucking LOVE that. I don't care about it from a strategy standpoint -- I care about it from a character standpoint. In Pearl Islands Sandra is fun but not one of the biggest characters even within her own season -- hell I'd say she isn't even one of the two biggest characters in the finale -- but after HvV Sandra turned into a bona fide, unquestionable Survivor legend. She is a huge, legendary figure in Survivor history and always will be and nothing can ever, ever change that. Sandra winning once despite being the most obvious first boot in Survivor history was awesome; Sandra winning TWICE despite being the most obvious first boot in Survivor history is even better. And to top it all off and make it a legitimately connected two-season story arc, the one jury vote she gets that's most emphasized is that of her old Drake buddy, Rupert, tying back her win here to the protagonist alliance of what is widely considered the greatest season in the history of Survivor.
In short, HvV Sandra is fucking awesome. I know most people think she was too low-key here or an inferior character because she didn't swear as many times, but as far as I am concerned the reincarnated Sandra outdoes the original thing by a mile. The whole three-way storyline of Sandra, Rupert, and Russell in HvV is the absolute pinnacle of everything a returning player season ever can hope to accomplish and she is the one who ties it all together. One of the greatest characters Survivor has ever had.
sandra wins everything of course
I like James in HvV also, so what if he was kinda a dick to Stephenie, he treated her how she treated almost everyone else
Oh hello no you did not just put Parvati below mother fucking Colby... he was boring as fuck in that season, heck he is pretty boring in most of his seasons.
