for all the kind words, they really do help tbh. i鈥檓 very appreciative of this site even though i haven鈥檛 been on it long since i still feel like i have met such an amazing group of people. i鈥檝e been trying to take it one day at a time but it鈥檚 hard. never did i think i鈥檇 ever have to go through something like this my dad has always been one of the strongest people i know. also yay my child鈥檚 birthday was/is today.
Seeing my father like this has been one of the hardest things i鈥檝e ever had to go though, not a single person told me it was this bad. finding him passed out in random places, having him scream and break things because i won鈥檛 let him drink, the fact he can鈥檛 hold a conversation, i鈥檝e been trying to keep his business afloat but i鈥檓 not sure on how to anymore from here, l had two employees quit because they can't take it anymore and I don't blame them. I still have my real job to worry about but i have everyone calling me, tonight he was a drunk mess, shit his pants and a customer called the police, idk what to do anymore, i told everyone to just go home and that i was sorry but im so tired, this is my dad it fucking hurts seeing him like this he was never like this, i came here because i don鈥檛 know where else to go anymore i have an ulcer in my stomach from the stress and i can鈥檛 sleep at night, what the hell am i supposed to do the days i don鈥檛 work at my other job i鈥檓 there for 12+ hours babysitting him and running the business i鈥檓 understaffed and i鈥檓 overworked, i don鈥檛 even have time for my own daughter. i want to throw in the towel but i know it will haunt me forever. i鈥檓 lost, i鈥檓 broken, but i have to stay strong.
a very heavy heart, i found out today that my father tried to kill himself last night, im the worst person in the world because he tried calling me but i was busy with Easter stuff and let the phone just ring knowing it was him saying i'll just call him tomorrow. Im broken, and don't think i will be in the right mind set for this site for a while, today i have to rush over to his restaurant where they found him and clean up the mess and cover for him for a while. This isn't a forever goodbye for me but for right now i need to go, i can't deal with the drama on this site at the moment and i wish everyone well, and to let you know to call your dad and tell him you love him because you never know when they will be fucking gone. ttyl
