here's my problem with the internet, alright? we're all here out of boredom. you're sitting there at your desk, whatever, maybe watching TV, checking e-mail, burning a CD, nothing really.. you think, "hmm I'll just check my tengaged, see if I've got an e-mail, whatever." then you start clicking around on people's profiles, no specific reason, really.. something will just catch your eye, some skanky blog or a comment someone left & you want to find out more about that person. thing is, it gets pretty addicting & can soak up a lot of your time. time that could be spent doing other things. leaving the desk & cleaning, working, studying, who knows. when you go to these profiles, though, you'll click their blogs, read 1/4 of their "about me," see if they have some of the same friends as you or if their friends are hot, then right off the bat, you've formed this idea of what type of person they are. girl's hot? slut. she thinks she's hot shit. got black, messy hair? pft, they go to shows. scenester. has 10 friends? loser. but there's one thing all of these people have in common: insecurity. everyone is insecure, in their own way. everyone wants acceptance.
so yes, it's wrong to be so judgemental, but fuck. that's the world. that's how everyone works. everyone, no matter what they tell you or how much they try to convince themselves, judges a book by its cover. I do, you do, your parents do, everyone. and it sucks, but you know.. you've just got to accept it. not everyone will like you. not everyone will think you're hot. people will assume you've had plastic surgery if your tits are larger than an A cup. people will think you whore around the 'hood 'cause you wear short skirts. and that's life. suck it up, don't let it get to you, you can't please everyone. do what makes ya feel comfortable. if you want to wear makeup, do it. if you want to dye your hair, go get buff at the gym, stuff your bra, get your nails did, do it. if you wanna drive around pickin' your nose, fucking do it. who the fuck cares. not all "haters" are jealous, but most people want something you've got. if you're hot, fat kids wanna look like you. if you're fat, the hot kids wish they were confident enough in themselves to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and be as happy as you are knowing God damn well you're a tub of lard.
so here. here's my "bio," my "about me," my opinions, whatever you want to call it. my name is Clover. I'm twenty one, but I act older. I'm not just saying that, either. there's only one other person my age that I can stand to be around 24/7. I'm pretty sure I was black in another life, 'cause I am all about fried chicken, Kool-Aid, BBQ Pork sammiches, all that shit. I hate my car, really. I drive it like a madwoman, so it's only a year old & already looks like a piece. I'm going to school for business. I don't want a career, honestly. I hate the idea of college, but that degree can take you places. I'm very unstable at the moment. and that "moment" being the past year and the near future. I don't really know what's going on from day-to-day because my mom runs my finances, and she's loopy. I hate being lectured, and not just by parents. don't offer me or anyone advice unless provoked. people aren't going to follow it, they'll do what they want to & learn from their mistakes, so I'd just save my breath if I were you.
I'm so co-dependent, it's pathetic. it's too late in my life to change that now, but I have severe issues that stem from childhood.. but who wants to hear about that. no one has a perfect life. no one. it's funny, too when people envy the "in crowd" or whatever you'd like to call it. they're just as miserable as you deep down. everyone wants what they can't or don't have. and once they get it, they want what was theirs before. same with relationships. the chase. once it's over, hah, you don't stand a chance. as much as people hate games and whine about that shit, if there weren't games & arguments, you would be bored as fuck. there would be no spark. nothing to entice you or spice up the daily routine, etc. I don't know much, but I do know that with age comes wisdom. that excites me. we're all little sponges walking around soaking up shit. each individual experience in your life has such a major impact on you, your personality, and how you go about handling every situation. envy makes the world go 'round.
Comments
You really expect me to read all that? I don't have the attention span. Neg for you.
