so you know the deal, you find yourself drunk and at toys r us or toy stores or walmart. toys are a lot of fun when youre drunk, that much is obvious. you cruise the aisles, playing with toys, commenting on how anatomically correct barbie has gotten over the years...
and you come across the gigantic plastic cage of oversized bouncy balls. there they are, so big, and rubber, and colorful, with that slot jusssstt big enough for you to temporarily free one from it's skyscraping jailcell.
and here's what's not fair... the fact that you're NOT ALLOWED TO BOUNCE THE BALLS! every time you go and play with them, some employee hears it with their bouncy ball radar, and comes and says "please dont bounce the balls". well what the fuck else am i supposed to do with them?
i firmly believe that it is physically and mentally impossible NOT to bounce the giant bouncy balls. you cant just pick one up and hold it for a second, then put it back. once you remove it from its crowded cage, it MUST BE BOUNCED! they're like little puppies. except for you shouldnt bounce puppies. but they yearn for your attention!
im pretty sure that is one of the biggest pet peeves of toy store managers. so next time you find yourself staring in awe at the tower of king kong bouncy balls, grab one, bounce it once, and wait. i guarantee you that a toys r us ball guard will come to investigate. so just look cooly at the coloring books like nothing happened.
then do it again.
Comments
I always bounce the balls!! no one has ever told me not to!! they know better! ;)
