Because the last time I blogged before I came back was February 1, 2018.
But I need to talk about it. Because being on here now is hard. And I didn't realize how hard it would be.
Being on Tengaged gave me one of the greatest friends sammyforeverr94. We met playing a rookies. And we used to talk on Skype and go on calls with a few other friends.
I got to meet her twice. She was the first online friend I had ever met. I remember spending time with her in the hospital. We never did get to do something outside of there, even though we talked about it.
Sammy was a wonderful person. She was bubbly, kind, opinionated, and overall an amazing person. But she was also sick with cystic fibrosis her entire life.
On February 7, 2018, she died. This was the first time in my life a friend had passed away. And even though I knew she was sick, I was still shocked. It just feels like young people aren't supposed to die.
I had the privilege of going to her funeral. It was very...her. I think she would have loved it, which sounds weird, but they tried to add humor to it. I definitely felt her presence there. So even though it was just me there, I felt like at least it would have let her know how much she meant to this site, on behalf of her friends.
And I'm back on this site and I'm just so fucking heartbroken. I hadn't spoken to her in a while at that point, and I was just so mad at myself. Why hadn't I reached out more? Why didn't I see her once more time?
And I really miss her. I wish I had gotten to know her better. I wish I had told her thank you for making my teenage years more enjoyable with her friendship. There is so much I wish I would have said.
I'm sorry for rambling. I'm just....so sad. And I miss her so much.
I鈥檓 sorry for your loss, may she RIP. No matter who the person is, you鈥檒l feel like you always could have spoken to the person more, I can relate. But try not to be hard on yourself & feel too guilty :(
I actually didn't know she passed away until reading this :( I remember going on calls with her & she was always so sweet to me and everyone..... this is like so sad to read rn fuck
鉂わ笍 it鈥檚 never easy dealing with loss. Don鈥檛 beat yourself up for not spending more time with her, we鈥檙e all here for a reason and a season. I鈥檓 sure she appreciated the time y鈥檃ll had
