#25- Caramoan (26): I debated between this and some of the next few seasons on the list for second to list, but I realized, that this is the season, I most passionately dislike. Compared to RI, it most certainly has it's redeeming factors, but while RI is just a complete fuckup, this season showcases EVERY SINGLE THING that's wrong with Modern Survivor. The editing is at its worst this season, in multiple ways which include but are not limited to: a. not well distributed air time, b. barely any character development or story lines at all c. the only story lines are contrived and forced or d. so badly edited that you wonder how people care about them.
Not only this, but it also has returnees, way too much talking about vote splitting, over the top camera hogs, a Hantz and is loved/overhyped by Jeff Probst.
The pre-merge, I think we can all agree was horrible, with the airtime being pretty much completely split between Fillup Shepard, Brandon and Shamar. (Hell even Cochran had a low-key edit at this point) and the post swap just being painfully boring, the only redeeming part of it is the fans (specifically Sherri and Laura) but Laura goes out 4th and Sherri is inv for pretty much the whole post-merge. So while we all hated the pre-merge, the post-merge was praised by quite a few people (and believe or not, I get that), for it's 'exciting blindsides' or whatever, but the post-merge forced a horrendous, contrived storyline with Cochran (Who I actually like but editing made it so obvious he was going to win and made him completely unlikable) and just fucking weird editing. I mean there was quite a few blindsides, but why the hell am I supposed to care that Brenda, who was barely present in the season, was voted off? Because sad music was played?
Oh my god, Andrea got voted off with an idol in her pocket, so exciting, except it's already happened, and Andrea got no development outside of the game. The three amigos vote, to me at least, was incredibly overhyped as a move and a moment, barely mattered in the long run seeing as the 'three amigos' all went out with a whimper, and was completely unsatisfying.
The only legit character arc this season, other than Cochran's disney plot, was Dawn. I like Dawn a LOT, and her moral struggles/heel turn into a villain this season were the only part that I kept watching, but editing gave a very simple portrait of her as a middle aged woman who cries and lies a lot, and again why am I supposed to care about Brenda? Not to say there aren't people I like this season, but they're all screwed over by the shit editing and decisions much like all of Caramoan.
I stand by my idea that Survivor is a show about people, there are multiple ways you can watch it, whether for the survival aspect (lol @that idea in post Guatemala survivor), the strategy, or the drama and fights, but the thing that should connect all of them, is the people in the game, and when for the whole season they're portrayed as nothing but robots playing a game, ott characters or not even shown, how can you care about them?
It's not fun watching a computer play chess.
~highlight~ FTC I guess? It was pretty fun.
Cast Ranking:
20th: Phillip Sheppard (Bottom two seasons in my ranking have this guy on them, and in dead last place. Coincidence?)
19th: Brandon Hantz (Bottom two seasons in my ranking have a Hantz in the bottom four. Coincidence?)
18th: Shamar Thomas
17th: John Cochran :( (Like him irl, but by default, he kind of has to go here)
16th: Hope Driskill
15th: Allie Pohevitz (Post-show Alli love forever < 3)
14th: Julia Landauer
13th: Matt Bischoff
12th: Francesca Hogi
11th: Michael Snow (If only on a different season...)
10th: Reynold Toepfer
9th: Erik Reichenbach (Should've gotten a sympathetic edit tbh...)
8th: Brenda Lowe (NO BUILD UP TO HER STORYLINE OTHER THAN ONE. FUCKING. SCENE)
7th: Sherri Bietham
6th: Corinne Kaplin
5th: Malcolm Freberg (I'm over him by now, but I can't deny I enjoyed him on the season, maybe some philippines bias)
4th: Andrea Boehlke
3rd: Laura Alexander
2nd: Dawn Meehan
1st: Eddie Fox (Dogbar 5ever)
That top 4 are all pretty close, and they switch pretty constantly, so don't go around saying Eddie's my definitive favorite.
None of these would probably in my top 100, but maybe some of the top four, would be close. (It really has an okay cast, but ugh editing)
Thanks for all the people who read last blog, I expect a few people to disagree with this one. #Survivorjackyboy
#26- Redemption Island (22): This season was an obvious last, everything about why this season is so poor has already been said, but, the reason I put it dead last is because it has no redeeming factors.
There were a few likable people on Zapatera and there was Francesca, but the edit completely made them irrelevant, and Francesca was the first boot. There is no character development at all, something even Caramoan has a little bit of. This is the only season other than maybe Samoa, where the plot of the season is completely carried on two characters, Phillip and Rob, and they both suck in this season.
Phillip is obviously a try hard, from the start, and never once seems to be being real, as well as being completely irritating, and possibly racist, the only person with any sort of air time other than BR, and the biggest enforcer for Rob getting a huge edit. Rob is just a gambot in this season, and completely tarnishes his legacy in my eyes. Plus, how many times do we need to hear Jeff Probst praising him during and after the season? It's the only point where I believe the whole Jeff Probst sexism, bad host accusations are actually true. (Although of course he's a horrible producer overall)
Ometepe is completely boring other than two people, who are hatable, Zapatera is mildly likable, but for the most part uninspiring and boring, and RI serves as an excuse for dumb story lines that go no where for Matt other than him getting voted off again. (Which in perspective, be my least favorite vote off again) and even more of an airtime vacuum. This is the only season where legitimately everything was done poorly. The only possible good thing about it is Russell Hantz being voted off, but it just fueled his fans even more, to call Zapatera idiots and etc. (although really, they barely mention RI when they discuss him)
Season Ranking (no write ups for this):
18th: Phillip Sheppard
17th: Natalie Tenerelli
16th: Rob Mariano (You know a season sucks when the final three are your bottom three)
15th: Russel Hantz (You know a season sucks when Russell Hantz is on it and he's not in your bottom three)
14th: Matt Elrod
13th: David Murphy
12th: Krista Klumpp
11th: Sarita White
10th: Grant Mattos
9th: Kristina Kell
8th: Mike Chiesl
7th: Stephanie Valencia
6th: Ashely Underwood
5th: Andrea Boehlke
4th: Steve Wright
3rd: Ralph Kiser
2nd: Julie Wolfe
1st: Francesca Hogi (You know a season sucks when the first boot is the only really likable, non boring person)
None of these would be in my top 100 #survivor
Lex: “Without fire, you can’t boil the water. Anybody knows that you don’t just belly up to the stream that you’re camping next to, drop your canteen in it and drink the water. You don’t boil your water out here, you end up with what they call amoebic dysentery, which basically has you puking and crapping your guts out.”
- Episode 1
