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Big Brother and online Hunger games.

1 year ago today

3rdJun 4, 2020 by TheSexiestDude990
I tried to start medication for my anxiety. Instead, my body had an awful reaction to it and my heart nearly stopped as a result. Laying in the hospital bed, life leaving my body, was easily the most terrifying experience of my life. Ever since then I've been kinda stuck thinking about it. Why did I survive, when there's not much value to my life to begin with? What kept me here? I just don't know what to feel honestly.

Comments

TheSexiestDude990

And one month ago I played your org and had a fun time and meet new people all because you decided to host it. All because that day YOU SURVIVED.

It is hard sometimes to realize the impact you make on people, and you can find yourself thinking you made no impact at all, but because you survived you have continued to bring happiness in peoples life even if it was through something as small and trivial as an org.

Remember that.
Sent by koolness234,Jun 4, 2020
^
You seem like a good guy. I don’t know why you appear so hard on yourself. I really hope things get better for you. I’ve been a cunt to a lot of people here but I’ve never had anything bad to say about you < 3
Sent by Danger,Jun 4, 2020
you're alive for a reason and it's because your life does have value, a ton of people on this site love you, everything will get better given time and you'll come to realize why you're alive
Sent by ashszoke,Jun 4, 2020
your life does have value
Sent by Jasoi,Jun 4, 2020
You’re life is very valuable. You have done soo much for me whether it’s giving me advice and coming to be a shoulder for me. I’m sooo proud to call you a best friend of mine. I love you sm. <3
Sent by pinkiepie512,Jun 4, 2020
💖💖💖
Sent by Aquamarine,Jun 4, 2020
I mean you always laugh and have snide remarks to say about me yet I still, to this day, have nothing against you or anything bad to say about you. You seem like someone who has a great circle of individuals who will always be there for you and I am thankful that you survived because I will never forget when we met when we said how excited we were about Legacy Survivor several years ago only for you to get eliminated early but we were both sad about the outcome. I always remember you as a funny dude in the nicest ways. Just let go of some past negativity on people who aren't causing you trouble. Hope you're okay!
Sent by ConstanceMarie,Jun 4, 2020
You’re loved though. I mean existentially yeah a lot of this doesn’t mean too much but... idk you impact people positively daily. Those interactions mean something.
Sent by dak236,Jun 4, 2020
lmao well nevermind to the idea of me trying to get anxiety meds rip
Sent by brookie_cookie,Jun 4, 2020
The amount of people you have touched and impacted on this website alone shows how needed and appreciated you are in this world. You are beloved in this community, with so many loving you and your hosting abilities. You believed in me and I believe wholeheartedly that you are here  and alive for a reason.
Sent by SmoothStalker12,Jun 4, 2020
Literally Brookie_cookie.... This gave me anxiety about getting checked for my anxiety?
Sent by zachbbs,Jun 4, 2020
Idk you that well man but every life is valuable I hope you see that with what's going on in the world today and wish you the best .... I'm really sorry that happened to you and I hope you have support irl but just looking at the comments here I think you def have support on this website and to piggy back off what the other people commented I think you have made an impact on this site so that's something to be proud
Sent by danyyboy67,Jun 4, 2020
That's painful to read as somebody who really looks up to you. I was in HS watching your stars games when you had multiple wins in a year and thought you were a legend. Not to mention all the games that you have hosted and experiences you have given other people, myself included. You've allowed so many people an escape from situations you didn't even know, and created so many positive experiences with the effort you put into your games. You're a great guy! Truly one of the more genuine people on this website. You deserve to be happy :)
Sent by Rocker917,Jun 4, 2020
TheSexiestDude990

As made extremely evident by the comments, there are countless people here who truly care about you and enjoy your company. From a personal standpoint, I know we've tended to fight with one another within the context of a game because, at it's core, I believe we're two incredibly competitive and dedicated players of the Survivor format. It genuinely upsets me that we haven't had many opportunities outside these games to actually start talking and really getting to know one another. You've stuck out to me since I first joined this site, and I do feel like we'd mesh better together outside of a game.

In any case, there's endless value to your life. Whether you are aware of it or not, people here are extremely impressed with your work and dedication, and many of these peoples are commenting above me expressing how deeply they do care about you and how much value you've brought to their lives. Even still, your life continues bringing value and spreads happiness to so many people. So don't give up. Times are tough but I know you can hang in there and make the best of things.

I hope reading through these comments helps you develop a change of heart. If it doesn't, I'm always here to listen and talk when I have a spare moment. This community would be lost without you, and the people here are happy to have you around. You are loved. You are important. You have value.
Sent by CheapCheep,Jun 5, 2020
That sounds like a terrible thing to go through! I am sorry you had to experience that, but glad you survived. Your life has value.

Life works in mysterious ways. You may feel right now that not much is happening in your world, but things can change in an instant. Maybe you are meant to achieve something brilliant when you're 60?
Sent by 75937563748,Jun 5, 2020
I wish you the best, and everyone has a purpose in life even if they dont know what it is

Stay positive and you'll find your purpose someday  💙💙💙
Sent by XxZaCxX,Jun 5, 2020
Julian you are among the few people on this site who always radiate an aura of warmth, always so welcoming just tries to be kind. Some of your comments in our Pokemon chat would make me laugh and I was really bummed out you weren’t able to take part fully in our nuzlocke because life was happening.

I know we haven’t spoken in a while and haven’t really chatted daily like that but I think you underestimate how much you bring to others. Maybe bring a fraction of the joy you bring to other people to yourself. Practice liking yourself, it’s hard and uncomfortable but like any other skill, it gets better with time. Stay strong, I hope these comments are a reminder of that and whenever you feel this way please come back to read these

We’ve all got you.
Sent by Anas,Jun 5, 2020

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