I thought it was about time I spoke on a blog about this, partially because everyone else is already making their thoughts clear with valid opinions, but mostly because I really do want to be sincere about my stance and the concerns people have.
I have been accused of historically tolerating or allowing bullying of players along with the use of racist and homophobic slurs in the history of my games.
What I think is true - and that those who know me will attest to me admitting this - is that before recently I took a non-intervention stance in my games because I didn't want to cause drama and problems from forceful removals. This was a stance that is now so beyond outdated, that it required changing long before any issues arose or were allowed to take hold.
Instead I'd play the role of a 'mediator', trying to resolve the issues between the parties, who didn't really harbour any ill-will against one another, but had been in an argument that got out of hand.
In 2011 when I started hosting, these sorts of issues weren't even prevalent in my games in the slightest, and this was back in the days of Tengaged Mails only, with no use of Skype. With more advanced social engagement thanks to Skype, it allowed more opportunities for people to take things too far. This is of course not to say no one was problematic at that time, but as naive and young as I was almost NINE years ago aged just 15, it just wasn't something I experienced as a young white straight cis male. I was just a boy trying to host an online Survivor game.
In not adapting my rules in later years with Skype becoming more involved and the arising of more personal issues, I ended up ignoring problems which historically should have been addressed. I have owned up to this. I still own up to this. A few years ago I introduced some basic rules to try and curb this matter. They were still not substantial enough, which is why in 2020 I have moved to a zero-tolerance policy on abusive language.
I did not adapt to the changing temperature of situations. I kept the 'hands-off' approach going because it was quite literally all I knew. I knew a time where people COULD play these games without making things personal, and I still hoped I could mediate situations to create a status quo. I didn't know the right path to take when that was no longer the case. I still wanted to be 'just the Survivor host' who didn't intervene. But I know that's not good enough. I know that's not acceptable. I can't just be the host when I am in charge of a group of people I have invited to play a game.
I can't rewrite the past or change any hurt or anger people felt about me not addressing their valid concerns appropriately. But this isn't about me, this is about the people who do feel marginalised by other people's actions, and whose concerns about behaviour in groupgames are more than valid. I recommend to all other hosts to continue to make clear that abusive, threatening and offensive language including slurs is UNACCEPTABLE.
I do believe it is RIGHT that people make myself and others accountable for inadequate action. But people also need to understand improper action from hosts comes from the fact that we really are just here to HOST A GAME. We don't want to have to deal with these issues, and are normal flawed humans when dealt with situations we don't know how to handle. I have been oblivious to people's feelings, and I sincerely want that to CHANGE. I will strive to continue to ensure the my new rules allow a safe place for people to compete and play without having to tolerate abuse from anyone as best I can, and they will change and adapt if they become inadequate or redundant.
Anyway I just thought I'd say my piece so so speak. People are free and perfectly within their rights to agree or disagree with any of what I have said or done. I just had to get this off my chest.
I'm not a racist. I'm not a homophobe. I do not condone people being bigoted, nasty, aggressive or abusive. But I do own up to being ignorant of it occurring in my games, and overly hopeful that people can be just able to resolve their differences and move on. I sincerely apologise to anyone who has been HURT playing my games, or my lack of action of intervention when they have been in an uncomfortable situation.
I hope that what most people have been able to take a positive and fun experience from my games, and I hope that many more will be able to in the future without this being an issue. Sorry this was a bit long and late, I’ll go back into my hole now I guess.
Happy 4th of July even though that’s also probably shit coming from a Brit. Whoops?
Comments
you are not a biased host and you dont enable terrible behavior in your games, you are a decent guy at your core, you shouldnt take comments like this to heart :(
As I believe individual players (jury) should decide what decides a players fate. I've always felt as long is it didn't cross into personal lives (doxxing etc) it was up to the players what's get rewarded or punished. If it wasn't for me Shawn would of taken a stance of censoring a long time ago.
Seen shit, done shit, got my feelings hurts, hurt other people's feelings. At the end of the day, I've always felt you've done what was right for the good of the cast and I have nothing but good things to say about you and your hosting! There's a reason you're the only person who's games I put effort it, the respect you give to everyone is there and I feel comfortable with you.
I’m glad you’ve owned up to your actions. And to be clear, I don’t consider you a bigot at all. I felt hurt because you told me you “couldn’t do anything” and you never realized the severity of the situations because you asked me to play again and never apologized. As difficult as it is to do it through a screen, after reading this I do feel that this is genuine and I’m hopeful that your new rules are more fair. Thanks for taking accountability and striving to be better.
But I do want to say that certain people in the comments are speaking for everyone and as much as I am friends with some of them, that’s out of a place of privilege. You can’t invalidate how others feel by saying all is well for yourself and nothing ever happened to you. Of course nothing happened if you’re a white male, that should be expected. I hope this site as a whole becomes more open minded and aware.
As The Hero of one of your seasons, I didnt see bullying going on tbh. There are other hosts who I've seen ignoring far worse things and I hope they read this blog and change their rules as well. They know who they are.
If the hosts don't do anything, idk why the players stick around. It goes both ways. If I was outright offended and felt uncomfortable (i.e playing with a predator/pedo or whatever the most recent news is), I would outright quit if the host didn't remove them. Too many people expect someone else to do anything but won't do anything themselves.
suitman13 rigs his games and goes against his own rules. Rules apply to some players and and not others. He makes excuse to try to validate his decisions. And I quote “I only told you the rule not the main chat” when I call him out and show him where he did in fact say it in the main chat he said “well what of he didnt see the message” like what the fuck. Anyways, we had a 20 minute comp where we had to spam certain phrases in a 20 min time frame. I asked if I had to do all 20 minutes or could I start a few minutes late and only have around 18 minutes to do it. He said no and i must post at or before 4:40(challenge ended at 5 pm). So when results were revealed a player who started 2 minutes late was allowed to advance citing the excuses Shawn used above. He started at 4:42. So clearly the rules apllied to me and not him yet he still advanced in the competition.
