ALBUMS:
🎼 Scaring The Hoes (Jpegmafia + Danny Brown) | 2023 | FromAWindow
🎼 Ungodly Hour (Chloe x Halle) | 2021 | turkeylover
🎼 What If Nothing (WALK THE MOON) | 2017 | Funny
🎼 I'm Not Dead (P!nk) | 2006 | BigBrotherStan2022
🎼 STARFUCKER (Slayyyter) | 2023 | MyMilkshakes
🎼 333 (Tinashe) | 2022 | Fritzyyyyy
🎼 Jurahevin Kuninkaat (Hevisaurus) | 2009 | SeaViper
🎼 Feed The Beast (Kim Petras) | 2023 | WorkBitch
🎼 It Was Divine (Alina Baraz) | 2020 | MelloJello
🎼 I Can't Wait (TiaCorine) | 2022 | Absol
🎼 Dirt Femme (Tove Lo) | 2022 | xBostonx
🎼 Blackout (Britney Spears) | 2007 | princesspretty
🎼 Gang Signs & Prayer (Stormzy) | 2017 | Danteman453pls
Welcome to season two!! Really excited to listen to those submission, I know most of y'all have gorg taste so I'm ready. I'm sure there will be some songs I'll obsess over for months.
As I stated in the signups blog, we're going to start by listening to one per album and rank them from best to worst.
Since eliminations are determined by the average ranking of the most recent two episodes, for this round we won't have any elimination! But this will never happen again. Got it?
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But of course let's go to reveal tonight's line up with each opinion on the songs.
(All of the chosen songs were randomized and won't be repeated again in the game unless an album has used all its songs)
💿 01) KIM PETRAS - Coconuts / FEED THE BEAST
◼ Well, what a particular start! She's feeding the beast in this record from what the title can tell me, or maybe she's the beast that's getting fed. Probably the first case since this entire song is about her coconuts that she's willing to put in someone's mouth. These lyrics are...interesting, but damn this is catchy, so you don't pay enough attention to them, or at least you try to. Interesting start, I see where we're heading with this. I don't know if those lyrics will penalize the song or not, it depends from what comes next today.
💿 02) HEVISAURUS - Läksyjä tulee / JURAHEVIN KUNINKAAT
◼ Aww okay this is soft little rock, in Finnish, which is better. They are a children's rock band so I'm not expecting anything too serious or powerful. This is nice, but kinda forgettable, hopefully we get a LISKODISKO soon enough, this felt more like a lisko-weak-o-badoo or smth. Anyways when is the cunty triceratops singing?
💿 03) SLAYYYTER - Purrr / STARFUCKER
◼ Alright I think I understand where this is going. A respectable start, my wish is to hear something faster and louder. This felt too weak compared to my expectations. I need some speed and power if you're gonna try to slay cunt. Production was nice and overall it was a pleasurable experience.
💿 04) TINASHE - Let Me Down Slowly / 333
◼ A slow (hehe) start but I enjoyed it. I didn't find this that extraordinary but there will be time to change my mind. The chorus was cute, probably the best part of these 3 minutes. The instrumental ending is a little weak, it kinda makes me impatient and ruins the vibe of the whole thing. It was chill though and I needed it.
💿 05) JPEGMAFIA X DANNY BROWN - Steppa Pig / SCARING THE HOES
◼ FromAWindow, submitting the winning album last season, had "Big Steppa" as the first song I listened to. This season he submitted this album, that I'm starting with "Steppa Pig", which is fun to me and a bizzarre coincidence. Now, onto the actual track. That production is INSANE. There were some parts where my jaw dropped, but this wasn't perfect. It starts really well, then it keeps quality in the second verse but it's not that convincing, and the ending is...boring? Nah not boring but like, unsatisfying, giving how great it started. But I'm rly excited for the next tracks, I heard this album was praised worldwide this past year.
💿 06) STORMZY - Blinded By Your Grace, Pt.1 / GANG SIGNS & PRAYER
◼ This is probably more "Prayer" than "Gang Signs" and I suppose this album is going to be a mix of calmer gospel songs and powerful productions with maybe r&b or rap? We shall find out soon. This didn't really convince me, it definitely has an emotional background but the delivery was very bland and I didn't feel that much while listening. This just sounded forgettable but he has a nice voice and the music sounded great, this whole mixture though rly ain't for me.
💿 07) P!NK - 'Cuz I Can / I'M NOT DEAD
◼ This and Britney's record will compete to be the new "Dignity" by Hilary Duff, so the late 00s album that SLAYS SO HARD. I love P!nk's energy in all of her songs and she sounded great here. She really gives you that boost of adrenaline it's sometimes needed. I expect this will be the vibe throughout the record and I'm good with it. This song might not be that memorable but it makes me positive on what comes next. Go Pink!
💿 08) WALK THE MOON - All I Want / WHAT IF NOTHING
◼ Very experimental and colorful. This album could go anywhere and I'd be glad if it went somewhere I'd appreciate. This first song sounds like it belongs in a movie soundtrack, and when I say this it's usually a compliment, so yay here's a "yas slay" point. This song didn't really have a chorus, since it was only some "oohs", which is risky, but ngl it worked pretty well. Both the beginning and the end of the song make sense and fit perfectly, pretty nice.
💿 09) TOVE LO - I'm To Blame / DIRT FEMME
◼ This track keeps it simple by also sounding really intricate. I loved the chord progression, and I'm curious to see how the song doesn't change its direction completely and stays with simple guitar, strings and I'm fine with it. This song and Walk The Moon's song I just heard before could work in the same movie soundtrack, so here's a "yas slay" point to Tove Lo as well. I loved this, her voice is gorgeous. This album might have the Song I've been looking for. Hope I didn't jinx it.
💿 10) ALINA BARAZ - My Whole Life / IT WAS DIVINE
◼ The opening track opens my journey with this record, which so far confirms the "divine" allegations the album title gave me. This voice is therapeutic and the music too. These were just almost 3 minutes of angelic vibes and ascending to heaven but I also need some context and a hook that will make me remember about this song in 100 years. I'm still really thrilled to hear more.
💿 11) BRITNEY SPEARS - Freakshow / BLACKOUT
◼ Yep, this probably is going to be the Hilary Duff of this edition. Of course there's no possible comparison between Hilary and BRITNEY FUCKING SPEARS, but the vibes are similar and it makes sense since both albums came out in 2007. This song sounds great to shake ass and do stuff like robbing a bank or smth but it's not that competitive sounding. I've definitely heard better today, but miss Spears knows how to make several hits so I'll wait patiently to hear the one that will convince me 100%, bcuz I know it's in there.
💿 12) TIACORINE - Birds / I CAN'T WAIT
◼ This started off immediately with a catchy chorus, that ends up being the hook of the entire song, it works well, I still remember it clearly while I'm writing this critique. The rest falls a little flat but it's alright. For some reason I expected hyperpop craziness but here we are and it still looks great. I sense nostalgia while hearing this, which is good. A little more work on the production and this would've went next level. But for now, a simple generic cute lil song.
💿 13) CHLOE X HALLE - Wonder What She Thinks Of Me / UNGODLY HOUR
◼ What an extraordinary ending. For a moment I thought this was a cover for some reason don't ask why, but these queens wrote this masterpiece with their hearts and souls and HELL YEAH they slayed that studio performance. I was sat and listened carefully, it only got better. I'm a fan of strings and vocals sounding that great in an harmony. The chords sound real good together, they're nothing new but delivered nevertheless. Stunning start, I lived.
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That's it for the songs today! Time to reveal my personal ranking.
Here we goooo...
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💿 SLAYFUL ALBUMS 2 | ROUND ONE RANKING 💿
1st / CHLOE X HALLE - Wonder What She Thinks Of Me
2nd / JPEGMAFIA X DANNY BROWN - Steppa Pig
3rd / TOVE LO - I'm To Blame
4th / ALINA BARAZ - My Whole Life
5th / WALK THE MOON - All I Want
6th / KIM PETRAS - Coconuts
7th / SLAYYYTER - Purrr
8th / P!NK - 'Cuz I Can
9th / TINASHE - Let Me Down Slowly
10th / BRITNEY SPEARS - Freakshow
11th / TIACORINE - Birds
12th / HEVISAURUS - Läksyjä tulee
13th / STORMZY - Blinded By Your Grace, Pt.1
Congrats to Chloe x Halle and turkeylover that submitted the album for the very first win of the season!
Those rankings will be added to the Round 2 ones and the average placement will determine our first eliminated album.
This was definitely a better first round than last season's. It can only mean good things, hopefully who flopped a bit today gets better, and who already was better today can keep on proving me right next rounds!
That's all see ya next round, maybe tomorrow, maybe in 100 years. Who knows?
Hahaha, I love where you think the album is going so far. I can assure you the album is probably 70% gang signs, with a one or two rnb tunes, and one or two gospel ones. Clearly the randomizer wanted you to speak to god first loooool. Stormzy's a rapper
