Hey guys! This is gonna be a longer, serious blog but it's relevant to the discussions being held over the last couple days, I'd appreciate if you give it a read. First and foremost, top20fan33 let's forget about the game, it's a good thing to start dialogues about such important topics so while I may not agree with the way you went about it, thank you.
I think it is important that people not only be held accountable but that they hold themselves accountable. So today that's what I'm doing.
https://tengaged.com/blog/TheEmpress/8001743/on-bright-side
This is a blog I posted on my old account before it was hacked from me. What I said was inappropriate. I was fighting with another user because she was being incredibly transphobic towards me. For some context, this was at the height of the bathroom bill mess. This blog was a poor attempt to get a point across. What I wanted to express was that POC & trans people should be in solidarity with one another and that POC shouldn't support such sort of bathroom measures when there is a history of segregation that affected bathrooms. People it happened to before shouldn't support this version of it happening to a different group of people now. That was what I meant and being as it was in the middle of an argument, I never slowed down to think about what I was saying.
That has been an issue of mine for a long time. If you've read my Get to know Heavenlee blog, I talked about struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder. This is not an excuse, but it is why.
"She proudly said she voted for Trump and then told me to kill myself for being trans, so I'm just saying she won't have to worry about it when Trump makes segregation a thing again." - me, being stupid and insensitive.
When I was in my last year of high school (spring 2017) I was in a friend group of extreme liberals. There was really no in-between in my hick town, everyone was either conservative or extremely liberal. Well, in this echo chamber, there were genuine discussions about fears of Trump bringing segregation back, and I believed that might be something that happened. I see how these comments come off as some sort of pro-segregation or mockery of segregation, and all I can say to that is I've absolutely never thought positively of segregation or thought it was something to joke about, it is a horrifying part of our history. I was a dumbass and I made insensitive comments. I apologize to the black community for the insensitivity of these comments.
Let's talk about transphobia, internalized or otherwise. I have made hurtful and exclusionary statements towards another user that is trans identifying. I've apologized to them privately and I will again now. I am very sorry for the things I said to you. They were ignorant and unsupportive. That is not the person I want to be and I hate that that's the type of person I was to you.
I have "passing privilege" with most people. Most people are not aware that I am transgender unless I tell them. Having this, it has been easy to forget sometimes what my life was like without it. I didn't start transitioning until almost a year after I came out as trans. I didn't start hormones for 2 years after that. I've only had one transition related surgery. For me to tell someone that they weren't trans because they weren't transitioning was incredibly stupid of me. I guess we want to forget our darker days, but I've since pulled my head out of my ass. Trying to tell someone not to label themselves as trans was wrong and was the same sort of thing that has been done to me, and fuck, with my own messed up thought process from before, still could be done. The fact that I had the audacity to do that has opened my eyes and really paved the path towards self reflection. Everyone in the trans community has different life experiences. Everyone socially and medically transitions differently and that's if they choose to transition, a choice that is every individual's to make and does not change whether or not that person is trans.
Again, I'm not in the business of making excuses, but I want you to understand why, which is that growing up I was constantly told that trans people are only valid if they transition and pass. I'll just leave it at that example to show you that the thought process I was subscribing to was one ingrained into me from a young age that I slipped into once I reached a place of passing privilege.
I've made mistakes and I've said stupid things. My promise to you all is that I am always striving to educate myself and grow as a person. If you have any questions for me please, ask away.
Comments
wait why is this negged LOL i feel like this is actually genuine!
Thank you for being so honest ❤️ You’re honestly one of the more genuine people on this site and have a lot to be proud of in yourself and look forward to
It’s not my place to accept the apology, but I do hope that you show you mean this with action.
For example, Chance’s friend has been making derogatory statements all day about race. I’d appreciate it if you showed that you do want to show solidarity between PoC and trans people by condemning these comments. But I feel like you don’t want to risk your spot in a game to do so.
I still have issues with you and I’m sure you do with me and it’s understandable but I respect this
this is literally all I wanted when it came to the transphobia issue.... every time I said it you acted like I was just belittling your upbringing when that wasn’t true.... I was simply trying to explain to you that you can’t validate your internalized transphobia... you have to unlearn it and admit it but you didn’t listen to me and it caused a lot of frustration on my end
I will apologize for being extreme as I’m simply a passionate person at times but I won’t take back a lot of things I’ve said regarding other issues we have and I think your racism scandal doesn’t look good when you are sheeping Chance atm
Noelle, this was very open and honest and I appreciate it. Admitting you make mistakes and apologizing for them is a good thing.
But while this was good to address, a lot of people are upset by the actions of other people who do not apologize for their actions, and your current association with those parties is bringing your public image down.
