I've been intending to make this post for a while now, but since my final group game is over, I'll finally post this.
Basically, I'm gonna be walking from this site permanently. I'll log out from my account permanently (even if I still have the password). And I'm doing this for 5 reasons:
1) My grades. I failed Junior Year equivalent in an extremely rigorous high school programme and I don't want this site to be a reason why it happens (I went from Dean's List to failing). Perhaps TG was not the cause but if it isn't I don't want it to be.
2) My mental health. Over the past year I've suffered a lot of anxiety and personal issues which have resulted in my extreme and erratic behaviours in the past 6 months, since the lockdown and subsequent reopening. Ryan right now, is not the same Ryan when he first joined Tengaged. My mental state has been completely crushed to smithereens and I need time and space to find myself.
3) The toxic behaviours perpetuated from this site have resulted in me doing and saying things which I feel I am uncomfortable with. Top blogs have been completely full of shit and even talking to some players makes me question why I continue to play on this site.
4) This site is almost dead. Randomize promised big changes but it was just a site logo. Since lockdown is long gone, there are only a handful of players left on this site, which makes these games extremely boring. I'm not gonna slog away on a site like this.
5) I feel this site has become a waste of my time. I'm waking up at 4-5am for each group game because I'm ahead of everyone by 12 hours, and that has radically changed my body clock in ways I do not want it to.
But with that being said, I had fun for some group games.
Firstly, I'd like to thank the hosts of the various group games I've played: Purplebb4, Suitman13, iYBF, s73100 and two other hosts who shall not be named for the fact they caused a lot of harm to me.
And Vlad21 and IceBeast for bringing me onboard the V&W Production Team to work as a logo designer. The best times came from these.
As well as the friends I made on this site: Duffybutt11, my absolute ride or die, DarkTyphoon23, Natepresnell, sihz and harrywasnak for being the absolute kings they are during SARS1, and BringBBUKBack for being the first person who I talked to in my first castings a year back in the gym while I was cycling. You've been gone for 369 days now but I still treasure our friendship.
With that being said, once this blog has completed its 24 hours I will permanently leave the site. I will also be blocking everyone I know on Skype and leaving all group chats. Thanks for the memories, but I feel and know it's my time to leave, for my mental health and sanity.
Ryan, Eclipse9, 24 October 2020.
Comments
i didnt know you but best of luck man! hope you find whatever you’re looking for
Ryan, you were an absolutely joy to play with and to get to know and im sure your life will be filled with great things cuz youre a badass king
Leave for as long as you consider it's appropiate for you, maybe one day when things settle down you'll wish to come back and we will welcome you back. The Kingz will forever live on.
Regardless i wish you the best of success and happiness Ryan! ♥
Im sad to see this site dying but honestly best of luck, really hope things works out for you. I did the same and I had the best semester of my life. You made a good choice
Much love Ryan, I wish you the absolute best with everything. It was so much fun playing with you and I hope that you'll pop around on skype every once in a while to let us know how you're doing, take care!
Thanks guys. It’s been a great 382 days (if you don’t know the 9 in Eclipse9 stood for 9 October 2019, the day I created this account at 3.46pm). I guess this is sayonara and, goodbye. Eclipse9, logging out for good.
