So I just need to type and get shit off my chest. So as nobody on here will really care it doesn't matter much what I say so I'll just say it before I post porn. Tengaged has been a part of me for 3 and a half years. People have told me how bad it is for me. Even people I met on tengaged. And my view of it has changed many times. As of right now tengaged feels like I place I've kinda let myself give up on life. And its not really the site in general that do that but some of the people I met. When I met Eoghan (Cosgrove ) he meant my entire world for almost two years. I feel like the me I've been trying to be in real life has been shaped with the relationships I've made. I feel happy and proud of myself when I can be this amazing person. With Eoghan, we had many problems. One of them was because I thought I wasn't funny enough for him. Because he had two otehr friends wo could make him laugh and our conversations were always serious. Now this same issue is something I felt irl, and to this day still do.
As most of you know, Keitho44 and I are great friends. And how this relates to my problem, Keith may have been the first person I've ever been able to be myself around and actually feel like I can be fun and joke around. In real life I have nobody. And Keith and my on/off boyfriend Matt (Mckewon1990) are the only two people I feel like I have.
I've been depressed and breaking down all the time for the past couple of months and I feel like what I really need is real life. But when I start to think about making the step into life, I freak out and I just want back on tengaged. I just want to message Keith or talk to Matt. Or text Ryan (Amelya ). And sometimes even I have Diego (db1994 ) there to help me... People on this site are who I depend on most. And I know by being off tengaged it won't really stop that. I can still talk to all of them by other means. But its a first step to not making more of these friends. These people mean a lot to me and I don't regret meeting them. I've burdened them all by my problems and have angered all of them by my constant lack of motivation and just complaining. All of them have tried to help me and they're all getting fed up with me and I'm hurting the only friendships I have.....And I'm really sorry to them all. I have nobody in real life, but thats my own fault.
I start therapy Monday and I Pray to god that I can remove this negative frame of mind from my life. I have no hope right now. But I hope I can figure this out soon.
Don't do this. I know we have never met besides in games when I got you evicted, but that's not the point. If you need some time off. Just don't come on for a while. Don't do something you'll regret later on.
I don't think you should post porn Chels05
Just change your password. You can leave tengaged for a while, and come back when you think you're ready to. Things will get better though :/
You may not want to come back. But we'd want you to come back. Just change your password to something ridiculous so you won't remember until you feel like its time to come back. If your wanting to leave just leave. Don't post porn to get away from this site. Just leave and don't come back. Or come on occasionally to say hi or something.
Don't do it chels05 one day you'll regret it and want to be back, you can't just stop suddenly you have to be on less and less each day and then when you barely come on quit. You can't just perm yourself and think "okay I'm banned now I'm never coming back" cause you will still be addicted even if your account is banned
I just read it. I know how you feel, friendships with people also affect how much I want to stay on here, but I would never post porn because I know I'd regret it and hurt people :/
Just take a break. A week, a month, just a couple days..think about it.
i wouldn't suggest posting porn because that would be silly :S you've had this account for so long and giving it up isn't the right thing (tbh this was tl;dr for me)
i read it
i just feel like porn is a cop out
Tengaged isn't a bad site if used in moderation and i'm sure your an unchanged person in the midst of it all Chels05
I didn't know you felt this way, Chels05. :(
I don't think anyone hates you.
I understand the feeling of being burdened, but I don't hate them.
I know they needed someone to talk to.
I fully understand why you're doing this. And I am glad you're getting help.
I almost lost one of my best friends because I burdened him a lot. But things turned around. I found another way of releasing my problems. :)
I really hope the therapy works out. You will be fine. :)
Chels, I can tell you from experience, a year off of tengaged does wonders. Quitting saved my life and I hope it will help you recover yours. Get the help you need, this is very serious, but you'll get through it.
Aww Chels, you were and always will be an amazing person. < 3 :)
Getting off the site is not a bad choice at all, considering it will help you concentrate on your real life even more and develop necessary skills and experience to succeed. Gl. :)
