I saw a lot of harsh realities about what people thought about me. So here we go.
1. I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself, but until you have lived the life that I have lived, you have no idea what I have been through. An abusive husband, a man who locked you in a basement without food and literally pissed in your face. (wretch) I have severe PTSD and borderline personality in addition to the schizoaffective disorder. I'm on a boatload of medication.
2. I admit it now, I AM an addict. I'm addicted to pain pills. I have been sober for a month.
3. My "personal hygiene" is really no one's business, but since it was the talk of the site, yes, my hygiene at one time was lacking. I also suffer from physical disabilities. I cannot walk without a cane. I was prescribed several narcotics to help with the pain, which made the addiction worse. At my last GP appointment, I asked him for a NON NARCOTIC and he said "If I could give you a pill that would magically take all your pain away, I would." For now, he wants to put me on Cymbalta, as he thinks that my depression is contributing to the pain. I'm willing to do whatever it takes.
4. I took a lot of people in because of the lonliness. I'm not used to being alone. I come from a big family.
5. My daughter is well taken care of, and now it's up to me to take care of myself. I don't feel that I have to explain myself, but I was kinda rattled seeing blogs about me, especially when I wasn't around and trying to get myself on track.
6. I'm now living back with my mother because I couldn't handle living on my own, without someone living with me....who always turned around and stabbed me in the back.
So yeah, I'm a month sober, taking care of myself and my daughter...no one has anything to worry about. Worry about yourselves. Check yourself in, before you check out.
*EDIT* I took a cute pic of me and Piper.