Reality shows have dominated the airways in the UK for over a decade and this week we take inspiration from some of the biggest and best- X Factor, BGT and I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here!
But before we jump right into the challenge we need to bring in a few things, or should I say people, first. Yes that's welcome back your eliminated queens! Sharon from HR, Trashy Bunny, Tara Toma, Barb B. Doll, Mrs Sazzy Qweer, Plai Station and your latest brexiter! Calamity Janet.
Ah yes we have have a special guest judge joining us and helping us make decisions this week! She's run 8 season of her own, plus 2 all stars and she's about to win Omen's all stars! Please welcome Analiese!
The returning queens and the current queens will be judged separately for this challenge.
The top 5 current queens and the highest ranked returning queen will automatically take the first six available slots in the contest. But the last slot will be up for grabs too.
The Lowest ranked of our current queens with go one on one in a LS with the 2nd highest placed returning queen to see who nabs that final spot.
So it's all to play for this week as you all take to the stage in:
Yes that's right, we are holding our own talent show! You can sing, dance, lipsync, rap, tell jokes. Basically whatever you want but make sure you entertain us! Oh and because it's reality tv week we want you to strut down the runway in your best jungle queen looks!
Just got back from being there, just finished doing that
Went Wild West and tied a bitch to a train track
My beats are phat, my lyrics are skinny
Trap these bitches like mice so they call me Minnie
I’m bitch number 3 after Rubes and Joco
Making talent show choices like my name is Coco
Snatch a couple wigs, collect a couple edges
Burn bitches in the oven like potato wedges
Yeah I burn them into coal and I turn em into diamonds
Fuck em so hard think I broke they hymens
Double dragon dildo, vibrator function
Keep my name out your mouth like superinjuction
You wanna keep your mouth busy then suck on my titty
Dick massage, sabotage when you tell me I’m pretty
Camouflage like mirage when I hide under the sheets
Make a mess, get dressed, then we rinse and repeat
Yeah you know that I’m a hoe, aint gonna try and hide it
Make my pussy shed a tear when you stick your dick inside it
I like dick like my coffee, long black and iced
Cause my first name Thiccness and my last name McChrist
I have Brown cow stunning dress but duhhhh I’m Barbie hello so i have my hairstile and a lovely pink necklace I got from being better than all of you
my talent is being an actress.a few years ago I starred in “Most Popular Girls In School” and played brittany matthews. here is Some clips https://youtu.be/0xZlR1iDuEw
Madame Monroe’s the name
And taking hoes down is my game
Barb B, bah-bye!
Calamity, girl what a travesty!
Madame created of the Haus of Monroe
Miracle is my star, first daughter to our haus
Monster, Mystery, Medusa
Those spooky and mysterious girls I adore
Michelle Minxx, Miss Mo’Nique and Madison Maddox
Elegant as hell and will make your jaw drop to the floor
Mustard, Merida and Morticia
Can’t forget these queens that bring life to the party
We’re a family and-
*Bebe Zahara Benet comes onto the stage after hearing it’s a Jungle episode*
Bebe:
Rrrrra-ka-ta-ti-ti-ta-ta
Yeah, I'm pussy, bitch!
Ooh-la-la-la-la-la-la
C'est bon, c'est bon
Do-go-choco-la-ta-la
You can't take my snatch
Drag it up, wild it up
Give me more, bring it to the ball!
I’m pussy bitch, don’t push me bitch
I’m pussy bitch, I’m pussy pussy!
*A big-game hunter looks at Bebe from backstage*
Hahaha CAMEROOOOOON! *gets shot and killed by a wealthy hunter*
Madame is serving Jungle Queen, a huntress but also has a supernatural side, she sprouts vines from her back to capture any hoe that tries to come for her.
My only talent is writing so i wrote a poem about an experience i had. this is where my emotional storyline begins and i cry
^ background music
"Ginger"
Walking down the streets looking down
Gonna buy some cheap shit in china town.
waiting for a call from my new boss
Listening to old Dianna Ross.
Remembering the days ive been locked underground
hearing the same "lets go for another round"
lying there and touching my tits
knowing that at least i don't look like Dida Ritz
Smoking crack and riding his pony
I think.. his name was Johnny.
he was a cute ginger boy
with really red pubes
he always told me how he liked my boobs
we used to hang out untill one day it stopped
I still remember the day my cherry popped.
he stopped coming and calling me too
I was ready to tell him i do!
Suddenly the room went dark
all i was hearing is my dog bark
it looked automatic
i felt like anne frank in the attic
One moment im hearing a voice
it's calling me... sounds like marina joyce
im walking towards it. its feeling so warm
realizing i woke up in my dorm.
The ginger boy appeared. he told me hello!
i was like.. dad? is that you? what are you doing here though?
he said he came here to visit
it hit me that what i was dreaming about was explicit
i realized the ginger boy was my dad.
the only man in my life i've ever had
it felt so sensual but girl im a fucking homosexual!
i don't have tits and i don't have a clit.
it's hard to admit.. but turns out i was thinking about my dad when i was dreaming of.. it. it's time to commit.
