"I'm ready for my close-up Mr.Demille!" she says as she blows a seductive kiss.
Please welcome Aphrodite Starchild! She is an amazing queen, and will blow you all away! Welcome, you may make your way over to the queens.
We are now back at TOP 9!
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Wow, dedicated queens here. But, some of you look kinda broke. Well I have a solution. H.O.E!
W-wait, that sounds wrong, H.O.E stands for Hustle Over Everything!
You are all pretty girls, and you can use that to your advantage! For this week's challange, you have to make up your own product, advertise it, present it, tell me why I should buy your product. I want you to use your personality, and be yourself. Hustle girl, get that money and make me buy it!
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On the runway, I want you to present a HUSTLER, that's right, if you don't know what a hustler is, google it, research, be amazing. I'm a hustler, so follow in momma's footsteps. Be a legend.
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and since this week, it's about girls hustling and getting their money, let's get together as girls, and be powerful! The lipsync song is...
Runway Voiceover : What hustles the most other than a bee? Definitely the working hours are a little hard, but chances of a job upgrade are many! Serving you bee with a Yuckier twist.
She been from the streets to satin sheets, but she still got her ghetto side, gotta get that gold bitch! Call 0800-HUSTLE and you'll get this bithes hotline bling!
I am a hustler because I’m a bad bitch that will do anything until I get what I want and clearly I have because I look rich as fuck! I always know how to work my way around problems and I may not be that hard working but my daddy certainly is!
I am paying tribute to Fiona Gallagher, for anyone who doesn't know her she is the lead character in the series Shameless. She practically raises her 5 siblings since 16 when her parents spiral from alcoholism and drug addiction. She takes care of them by hustling between 3 jobs and even attempting getting into hosting club events. From dishes and tables to the main bitch ranking cash, from trash to treasure fittingly.
*The camera pans into an alleyway, where someone is in the trash can, the camera looks in and there’s Crystal looking at her phone!*
Huh what? Get that light out of my fa- Oh wait you must be the advertising crew! Well welcome to my home!
*Crystal hops out of the garbage and burshes herself off*
Sorry about the mess, I lived here ever since Lynda booted me off her show because she refused to pause her game, the nerve of some people
*Crystal smiles*
Anyways I’m supposed to sell you something right? Uh let me see… Oh right!
*She pulls out a random ass lipstick that says Tiffani on it*
How about this? Never got the chance to use it but it’s got to be worth at least something… No? Ugh okay fine I know what you’re here for
*Crystal throws the lip stick behind her and goes over to a box where pulls out a Crystal ball*
Here we have the Crystal Clear Crystal Ball, for all of your need, now I know what you’re thinking? What is so special about this Crystal Ball? Well Let me tell you, it can make you see your future!
I’m a huge fan of tarot and psychic stuff, so with this Crystal ball you can see into the future! You want to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you? Done. You want to see if you will murder your boyfriend after you find out he’s cheating on you? Obviously done. The answer is yes by the way.
Wanna know if you’re ever going to win any drag race group game… Sadly I did that on myself and I’d rather not tell you the answer…
But that's not all, if you give me 200 dollars right now I can throw in a second one for free! This one isn’t even for future telling! It’s for killing people! That’s right this normal crystal ball can be thrown, bludgeoned, and shattered onto people so they regret crossing your path.
So for the amazing price of 200 dollars, you can get Future telling ball, and the weapon ball but wait I’m not done yet. 500 dollars will get you a third ball that you can use for bowling! Your very own special bowling ball!
So that’s three balls for the price of one… I think I can't really do math but I’m sure it adds up!
So call 555-555-IMDESPERATE immediately and you’ll get your balls as soon as possible, I’m trying to find a home and buy more drag supplies… please please just buy it please…
*The camera begins to walk away slowly as Crystal notices*
Oh no you don’t!
*She throws the ball at the cameraman’s head and the camera falls showing Crystal run away with his wallet*
Tired of this boring ass reality where everyone seems so normal and boring you caught your dog yawning too when you came home last night?
Then, I have something exactly for you!
Presenting YuckieVision 3000. The first ever hyper reality visor that makes your reality worth living!
From “Everyone naked” (where you’ll be able to see all the people walking around you naked) to “Zombie apocalypse” (where you’ll be actually able to say “I see dead people”) no more dull moments! Don’t you trust me? Let’s hear from some of our most satisfied clients!
“I was so tired of my husband coming home and be so bossy and distant, you can’t imagine how much time I spent indulging on the knife before cutting his bread to cut his throat instead, but thanks to the YuckieVision 3000 now I can murder my husband any time I want and no need for the police to be involved. With the “murder mode” I get all the relief I need to bear another day with that pig”
Call now, for the first 10 lucky callers, I will add an amazing skin for your YuckieVision 3000 that will make you look awake and aware of your interlocutor even tho you’ve been watching porn this whole time! Don’t worry... your bulge is so little they won’t even notice!
it's design is based off the most: angry, sexy, pornstars and dramamakers... the clock destroyers.
they are SO controversial that police recives at least 10 reports a day.
they are SO controversial their living room is daily visted with a hoe telling: "finish what you started be######ch"
they are SO controversial they are the guru of lesbian sex and wrestling.
this newest model has plenty of funtions:
- tells you the time in case u have a dick appointment.
- speaks in 11 languages.
- has 5 rotation options.
- [NEW!!!] gps in case u got lost.
Honey, listen up, this is an invention just about any gay man on the planet has probably thought up. Well mama, who better to give it you than a dead bitch like me?
You see, this device, for only a price of $69 dollars, will create a mold of any mans penis you can get your hands on!
Want a mold of that big beautiful cucumber? Honey, I’ve got you in the mold.
Want your mans cock when he’s off on that business trip? How about when you are? Ladies can I get an amen!
Not only is this about increasing the pleasurability of woman worldwide, its about empowerment! Empowering the world one slut at a time.
Not only is this product entirely made of cum and silicone, it’s actually creating conversation amongst the bisexual community. Once our daddies got a taste of this shit they realized what they’ve been missing.
Why buy this product? Because it is a design by queer people, for queer people!
Out of ideas for valentines? Honey get romantic and freaky in the sheets with the DoUDildo.
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