Are you ready boots?

Congratulations final 2.

I am not going to lie, getting voted out one round before the final 2 stings like a bitch, especially considering all the effort I put into this game. But, for every game I made finals in, someone had to be the last person voted out, and so my success came at somebody else’s expense numerous time; today it’s my turn. I’d be lying if I said that I am not slightly heart-broken, but it is what it is, and this was a very fun season regardless.

However, now I have to make this hard decision about who to vote for, and there’s the good news, I am still undecided. Here’s the bad news though, I have plenty of reasons detracting me from voting for either one of you. You have to understand that every time I am juror, I vote according to one metric: which person will I feel better about voting for? This person is ideally the person who played the best game, in terms of having an effective charge to the end rather than stumbling ass backwards there, as well as having enough decency to not have alienated me regardless of how well he player. This time will be no different; this is my criteria again. This time, however, the person that I feel I should vote for is different than the person I deep down want to vote for.

Jordan, you are no one’s goat and no one’s sheep. You played a respectable game that was low-key but in no way where you someone who never showed up, never talked to people, and never had input on the game. Whoever calls you a goat is a hater, and I hope you don’t let them get to you, especially the piranha sitting next to you who will discredit you at every chance to curry some favor with the jury. With that being said, I would be lying if I said that LeQuisha’s game wasn’t stronger because in my opinion, it was. Maybe only slightly, and she may be, in my opinion, the 2nd least deserving person out of all F5 only behind you, but she did just a little more than you to make it here, and this is why although I want to vote for you, I am struggling with finding a good enough reason to do so. You played a cleaner, neater, less flashy but also more consistent game than LeQuisha, but it just felt that you didn’t try hard enough because you didn’t have to, as I have seen the way you really play in Link’s Survivor and that’s why I got you out right before F2; you scared me. This time, you didn’t. You still deserve a tremendous amount of credit for making it here, but you made it lacking the necessary ammo to lock down my vote.

LeQuisha, your ego is far beyond where you are, far beyond where you are. I respect the game you played and the moves you made to get here. I respect the fact that you were an early threat who survived on the merit of her connections rather than just winning comps every other round. I respect a lot of things about your journey to the end. But, it is not what you did that bothers me; it is how you did them. Let me break it down to you: you were a fake and a phony, and not a single thing you said sounded sincere. Not that first Hi on day 1 and not the final “oh it was amazing to play with you” that you only sent because I am on the jury. Your ways were tired and downright appalling, advocating cheating in challenges (wanting to Call Ryan on Skype midway through a POV, trying to get answers from jurors in Part 3 of the HOH), lying about your intentions when there was clearly proof of what you said, and just your overall sliminess; at your worst, it took a conscious effort to be nice to you. You are also, imo, a professional liar and you couldn’t keep a secret if your life depended on it. You need this win more than I do; I have double digit group game wins and a record that speaks for itself. You have been around for just as long as I have and you have only registered 1 win. If I were you, I’d begin to draw a link between my abysmal final vote failures and the way I carry myself in these games because for some reason, your actions frighteningly mirror a used car salesman way past his prime; reeking of desperation. I don’t fault you for not taking me to the end because trust and believe, I would have beat you, but what I fault you for is checking every ounce of your morals and your humility at the door for a game with no stakes in it. KC took Tyler to the end and risked losing half a million dollars because of loyalty alone; I am not surprised you didn’t have the balls to do the same in a game with nothing on the line, but I am surprised at how proud you are of yourself for lacking the courage to do it.

Now that I have addressed you both; here are my two questions.

Jordan, you threw the word “Social Game” around when defending your game and I have to disagree. Social game doesn’t mean that a person survives for being non-threatening; this is called floating. Social game is when you form close enough connections with people, and have them both like and trust you enough, to not only be influenced by you but also share whatever information they have with you, granting you knowledge about everything that’s happening in the game and benefiting from the moves they make. I don’t think you did that. What I do know, however, is that you once told me that you find it hard to connect with people or have dynamic, free-flowing conversations. And I completely understand that; I never took your rigid approach to conversing personally ever since you explained to me back in Link’s Galapagos that is just who you are. However, I literally know nothing about you. I don’t know what you were thinking or feeling or who you were in the game. All I knew was that we had a good bond and that we voted together most of the time but that was it. My question to you is, forget the big words like “social game” and “under the radar” because they’re not going to win you any jury votes without clear illustrations. But please do tell the jurors why you have more input than LeQuisha in how the season turned out. Talk about the votes you were swing in, the connections you made that LeQuisha didn’t bother to, and tell them a little about who you are and why you want to win. Why should we, as people, vote for you? Why would I vote for you when I feel like I don’t know anything about you.

LeQuisha, you might still be reeling from my address to you, but I advise you to take a deep breath. You have an equal shot at my vote. It goes without saying, however, that I don’t want to send a vote that sends sour chills down my throat. I want to be like “hey Shawn, I vote for LeQuisha, smiley face x 1000, perfect satisfaction”. Tell me why, without sighting ANY game related reasons, as I believe you played a better game so we’re not debating that, but tell me why I, Shadi the person that played with you 26 days, should vote for you. I am a juror, and I have a sour taste in my mouth because of you; can you manage that? This is, at the end of the day, part of the game.

When I said at the beginning of this speech that I feel like I SHOULD vote for someone but I WANT to vote for someone else, you both assumed I should vote for LQ and want to vote for Jordan but it is the opposite. I feel like I should vote for Jordan because it makes me feel good about my vote, and because I find him to be more of a decent person than LQ, which always factors in my choice, but I actually WANT to vote for LQ because when I make f2 and I push people to vote for me because I played the better game and so I want to pay that forward and vote the person who played the better game. And it’s hard to do so when you are THAT turned off by their demeanor and the way they carry themselves.

So this comes down to a simple zero-sum equation; if Jordan convinces me and the jury he played a better game by not throwing empty words and instead connecting to us and actually explaining to us why he feels he had a greater mountain to climb and how he climbed it; he will get my vote. If LeQuisha can be even remotely genuine and is able to get me to turn in her key and vote for her while feeling not-so-shitty about it, I will vote for her. If both of them succeed to do so, I will ask one more question or go with the person who convinced me the most.

For what it’s worth, this shall all be forgotten tomorrow, but you have the blood of 14 evictees on your hands and before we let bygones be bygones and reward one of you for it, you need to be held accountable for the things you did, LeQuisha, and the things you didn’t do, Jordan.

I wish you the best of luck.

Okay shadi let me address you now, unfortunately I don’t have the capacity to consistently lie to people, and the connections I made in this game for me were real! And shadi tbqh I think all of this that your saying is coming from hurt and I understand that believe me I do! I took your chance away from you to get to the end so yes be hurt! But to discredit me the way you are I mean it’s quite dramatic know but I shouldn’t be shocked because as a player you are quite dramatic. No shade it’s the truth. If you want to tell people I cheated my way to the final okay... because that’s a dam right lie! And if it was so difficult to speak to me on a daily basis why keep me around then get rid of me but I did what I deemed the best moves for my game! I was genuine with you shadi and what I said I meant I respect you as a player and your game so it does really hurt to here you say that and to me feels like you want the best speech in jury and it’s at my expense. All game aside I liked you shadi and it does sadden me how much i affected you and how much deep seated hatred you have for me! Never once have I ever thought that about you

Also if you think I have an ego because I said I played well, I’m just proud of myself I think I played a good game yes it has flaws but to me I played well! The fact that you have to bring up your past credetionals and talk about how you would win, that’s your ego and if you think bringing someone else down to make you feel better cool do it at my expense but I personally think that’s mean and that’s what you call a bully I’m shocked at your question shadi I am because I never thought YOU  would be like but bitterness affects people in different ways

Can I just say I know I have blood on my hands I’m covered in it and I knew coming into this game I couldn’t be everyone’s friend and not do anything! When I started group games I was the quintessential goat! I was the queen of sleeping people. I made finals a lot yes but never won and I just didn’t understand why? Like I was a nice likeable person why was no-one voting me and it was because I didn’t do anything I played yes but the better player who made enemies always beat me! And I vowed okay I have to make moves and if that comes with enemies than okay you have to do it!

But I can sit here and say I have blood on my hands because I got dirty and played in the trenches Jordan, and I’m not discrediting him at all, did not. I do believe Jordan was gonna be here regardless of who got to the final because everyone was gonna take Jordan some for strategy for me it was loyalty I chose Jordan because he was the first person who I made a person to and he was the person who I was gonna fight with to bring!

You were doing so well until you said that you brought Nordan purely out of loyalty which we both know is not true.

Anyways, I am not going to have a back n forth. I made my speech, you made your response. If you have anything to add go right ahead, but I am not going to engage in a banter.

Thank you for your response

Shadi I don’t want an argument i don’t want a back and forth but Shadi that is true I was aligned with Jordan on day 1 before anyone else and I said it’s us two till the end and I honoured that promise what about that don’t you understand! Jordan was my biggest ally this game so why is it such a shock that honoured our agreement

Also I just want to clarify this whole cheating debacle so it’s cheating for me to distract someone in a veto and mail people for answers to make my job easier but it’s not cheating for me to send answer to you shadi and Jordan at the veto?

And to further clarify I didn’t distract that person at all and I didn’t get the answers so.... I didn’t cheat

someone summarize shadi’s speech bc i don’t want to read all that

Ok, I just woke up. ready to answer questions again

ryan5676
Congrats on both of you for making the final 2. My question is what was your lowest point in the game and how you managed to overcome it to get to the end?

Hard to point out my absolute worst moment but there is some I can point out. I was always on a low point everytime I was nominated for eviction, especially when I was a post veto nom. It was never fun being told that i'm up as a pawn or if I was one, Idk, I could have been a target at one point. I did get 3 votes at chandler's eviction.

I did hit a low when lequisha and Patrick were the final noms. Both of my Envelope allies were on the block and one had to go which was a decision I had to make earlier then wanted. So I had to think long term when evicting Patrick as he was the biggest comp threat of the season and knowing that if he and I were on the block and he took himself off, I could always be the plan B.

I guess the moment I wasn't happy about was having to evict mari. because I do think I had a bond with mari when I talk to her a bit about my life of always being alone nowadays in the real world. and because  a longer then expected meeting stopped me from making the final 4 HOH, I had to win the veto to secure my safety and for the best of my own game, I had to evict mari. and as expected, she was hurt that I lied to her in that round and for me, that wasn't fun at all.

I cant really regret that choice as it was best for my game but I have a heart and I don't like having to hurt people's feeling and all. But that's my personal low point. My professional low points were being on the block 5 times and when I was forced to pick an alliance member to leave.

Chastain:

ok I hope by swing, you ment had a impact. I knew that I had to make sure that Patrick was evicted because last time, he was saved to be people's shield and he can go against other physical threats, but at the final 9 that was the time where you had to think of the end game and if he was near that point, he would have easily won his way to the end so even if I had to pull the "i heard patrick's name" to have people vote him, I needed that to happen which spared Lequisha. So, I think one was the Tico vote. After the whole coop d'état thing which had you and Tico on the block together. I knew that Eli would want you out for being the bigger threat, but I did not have any trust in Tico as he seemed to be the one playing multiple sides. I knew that I needed people to go for tico, especially when Lequisha wasn't around to vote and she gave herself a penalty which never came to play. Then there was the Mari vote which I did myself with my one vote. And at the final 3, I had my final 2 deals with both you and Lequisha so that if I didn't win HOH which was the intention, I would at least had someone that wanted to take me. I'm actually surprised that I wasn't busted for making deals.

I'm actually glad that you brought up Link's Survivor because I took that game into account when working with you. I knew that you saw me as a big threat in that game so I intentally had to down play a bit at times so that you weren't try to go against me again. I remember you saying that one of the reasons you went against me was becauase I never told you about my hidden immunity idol until I played it and you felt that you lost a little bit of trust in me. So I took that into account and after buying the "Vote Nulifier" prize from the shop the day it was closing, I told you about it I think the next day so that you would still have that trust in me in this game. Also, you the only person I revealed this prize too. No one else knew about it, even Lequisha did not know about it. Mostly because I never use it as it was never needed. I always felt that if you are just gonna use a twist, just for the sake of using a twist and not to advance your own game then you're not doing it right.

And I guess this is the time on the site where I should talk about myself as you claim to not know me personally. I am a 22 year old guy that has lived in Canada all my life. I have said that I found it tough to talk to people at times, because when I was very young, I was diagnosed with Autism which made it very difficult for me to talk and be close to people throughout my life. Even currently, I find things tough in the social aspect as when I do get close to someone, I end up driving them away unintentally. outside of jokes of having a girlfriend that I never had, whenever I talk about my life, it was true and sincere. I'm not one to lie about my personal life. I don't talk too much about me being autistic because I don't want to judged or just be known as "That autistic guy", I want people to know me about my personality and not for my disorder. Whenever I do tell people that I have autism, they stop talking to me like a actual person, they talk to me like im a stupid child and eventually they do not want to be around me anymore. So I let people in my life know me first before I ever feel life I want to reveal it. Though that does not seem to be the case here.

And about why I want to win this game: I have been on this site since around the spring of 2011, and since then this has been my escape from the real world when life took a real toll on me. I would have my fun when I play group games like survivor or the reality RSF/TTRS/NB Reality Series. I only played in one Suitman reality game so I couldn't include it. The last time I won something was in May 1st, 2013, the day that I won Chantras Survivor Tokelau. and since then, it was 5 years of never making a final, usually getting eliminated for tough circumstances, leaving very early or in the middle, rarely near the end and usually being told that im weak and not good enough. The one time I truly made finals was RSF Gauntlet 2 and that was 2 years ago which I did not win. Can`t really count BestHero`s Survivor where I was the only one that gave a shit in that game, or the Suitman Big brother Trial game  where that was just something to get someone in a survivor game.

When 2018 came, I wanted to show that im can hold my own on this site despite Tengaged having gone through some serious changes. So every game, I would give my all physically and mentally. Half of the time was a forth place finish, and other times it was a miserable finish which would set my confidence down at times. So I finally decide to play in a Big Brother game where I would play Day be Day and plan my way through and decide what was best for me. My motto that I would tell myself everyday in this game was to Never Give Up. The moment that you doubt yourself is when people will get you out and you lose again. That is why it was very important for me to play so that I make the final 2 and win. Because after this game, I don`t know if I will ever make the finals on this site again. This is the clostest I have come in a very long time and I am happy for it. I want this win for my own reasons so that I can prove to myself that im not terrible or weak or worthless.

As a old tengager, as a fan of Big Brother, as someone that is playing not to prove to others, but to myself, I just think that it would be great for me to have this win to show to struggles on this site and in real life can have success in this day in age.

But that's just me, i'm not a juror. Yall are. and it's up to you to decide how you want to vote. I can only try to convince you if I am worthy. Weather or not you were convinced, it's up to you. Thank you for your time.