I soon found myself in an alliance with Eliza, Jerri, Chris, and Parvati, holding the majority, but this was not without concern -- Chris had only selected Tom of our former allies, and Tom was now on the outside. I had made a pledge to Tom, and I had no desire to break it. Tom was, indeed, selected as one of the first targets to go home by the majority alliance. This made me uncomfortable, as did the facts that I had no prior relationships with Eliza and Jerri, that I hated Parvati, and that Chris had separated us from Brandon and Jay (a particular concern when they both got voted out). I had no qualms about voting off Edna and Cindy first, because they were utterly worthless competitors. But now, my majority alliance wanted to see Sugar and Tom as the next two boots. I couldn't do this in good conscience, so when my alliance planned to split their votes three and two between Sugar and Tom, I knew that it was the time to act. I trusted and respected both Sugar and Tom, and I had absolutely no trust or respect for Parvati. My alliance planned to split the votes three and two between Sugar and Tom, but when I teamed up with the two of them, Parvati was instead sent home by a vote of 3-2-2. Sweet revenge was finally attained for her haste in an early challenge and her horrible manipulation during the twentieth season. My ex-alliance had questions about who flipped, but they never came to anything. Sugar, Tom, and I targeted Jerri, simply because I had a relationship with Chris and Sugar had one with Eliza. We tried to get Eliza to flip to the truly noble group of myself, Sugar, and Tom, but when she disagreed, the vote was a deadlocked tie. Eliza herself was eliminated, thus showing that valiance and honor are always the right virtues. I hope that this is shown later in the game towards such insolent, dishonorable scum as Jerri, Laura, and Brett.

This caused a problem, however. I was revealed to have flipped. Chris knew that I was still loyal to him, even if I hadn't been to Parvati and Jerri, and I explained my motives. Jerri assured me that it was water under the bridge when I explained to her that we had only targeted her because Eliza might have been willing to flip. I have since learned, however, that it was not. A new alliance formed between myself, Chris, Sugar, and Jerri, with Tom as the next boot if we had lost the final pre-merge challenge; however, thanks in no small part to my ability to excel at virtually all tasks set before me, this didn't happen, and all five of us made the merge. We vowed to stick together.

I had been communicating on and off with Sandra, Danielle, and Erik for a while at this point. When the two tribes merged, I named the tribe Voyabeyo -- a reference to "Voyage Beyond Reason", my autobiographical tale of courage. All three of the people with whom I had been communicating assured me that the first two boots would be Andrew and Kelly -- the two people who were undeserving would be the first two to go. They had no right to be in the game, so it only made sense to eliminate them. As you all saw, Andrew was gone, but deception had taken place. Chris was eliminated, and the game lost its strongest warrior other than me. I knew that, because Danielle had had no sense of honor or capacity to judge the worth of others, I was now in a very precarious position, and I didn't even have Immunity.

But, wait -- suddenly, I did! Sugar, the light of this game, the most honorable woman ever to have played Survivor, willingly gave up her own Immunity simply out of respect and fondness for me. She knew that it would put her on the spot, but she did it anyway, and it saved me. I was Immune, and it looked like Sugar would go. As shown by Eliza's elimination after her ignoble move, however, the divine are watching this game and reward nobility. Kelly failed to change her vote in accordance with the change in Immunity, and Tom received a vote instead of Sugar. Todd, due to fears that he had had an I

Todd, due to fears that he had had an Idol, was eliminated, along with Sophie in a tiebreaker. Chapera paid with their blood for betraying me by voting off Chris instead of Kelly, and their numbers fell to two. It was now the final twelve, and the game was afoot.

As I've said before, I had been communicating a lot with Sandra. This proved crucial at the final twelve. Sandra told me that Airai was going to split their votes between me and Danielle, in the hopes that Danielle would play her Idol, I would go home, and the two biggest threats -- me and Danielle's Idol -- would both be out of the game. Sandra told me that my best chance to save myself was to make Danielle feel safe but to vote for her, and to have her go home with her Idol. However, I didn't hold any ill regard to Danielle for eliminating Chris (I am known for being a very forgiving man), and I knew that I would just go home next if that worked. Instead, I took advantage of Airai's pathetically stupid decision to split the votes. My four all voted against Kelly, and just to ensure the result, we brought in the two Chaperans to do so as well. Kelly's failure to adapt and vote out Sugar cost her, and she went home, due to her own incompetence as well as Sandra's assumption that I would play for Sandra to win. After this boot, Sandra's immediate reaction was not anger at my flip, but instead gratitude -- she thanked me for voting off Kelly, saying that it had just saved her the trouble of having to backstab somebody and lose a jury vote. Kelly, take note of this.

When the fourth Tribal Council happened, I knew that I was going to get the votes from Airai. Sandra had told me that I was now in the majority and I was safe, and it was incredibly clear to me that that was her subtle way of telling me to not play an Idol. Naturally, this meant that I was going to get the votes, so I did play an Idol -- or, rather, Danielle did. I told Danielle that the best move during this round would be to not talk to anybody at all from Airai, play the Idol on me, and eliminate Sandra, because she had an Idol. It would have taken out the game's biggest threat and worked perfectly, but Danielle... had other plans in mind. And now I'm going to break character for the first time in the public chat, because this round was the most irritated I'd been in the entire game.

Even though it's kind of an obvious plan -- play the Idol on me because I'm clearly getting the votes, and blindside Sandra because she has an Idol and won't play it -- Danielle didn't want to do that. She came up with a convoluted plan of getting Erik and Laura to waste their votes on Sandra, and she started trying to do that before I could talk her down. As soon as she did that, Laura and Erik knew who was getting our votes, the information immediately went back to Sandra, and Sandra was pretty likely to play an Idol (which she's told me since then she almost did). And.. I facepalm'd. A lot. Danielle, you're cool as shit and thanks so much for being loyal to me for as long as you did, but.. holy shit, you were frustratingly stupid this round :| There was absolutely no reason why Laura and Erik would ever go along with Danielle's plan, but Danielle insisted that getting the powerful majority alliance to eat into their own numbers would SOMEHOW be effective, and by being so stubborn in favor of a clearly stupid plan, she revealed to Erik and Laura that Sandra would get the votes. This meant that Sandra couldn't get the votes, so we had to change the target to Ken, because he was the least threatening and the least likely to get an Idol on him... so we went from targeting the biggest threat to the least threatening. Fortunately, I managed to convince Danielle -- after four and a half straight hours of wanting to rip my fucking hair out -- that playing the Idol on me when I was going to get all of the votes would make sense. She did it, and Ken went home, but it never should have been Ken. It was supposed to be Sandra g

andra going out that round, but because Danielle decided to spill the beans to the other alliance for no good reason whatsoever, Sandra and her Idol stayed. And um......... there's no reason why that should have happened :|

Back to Coach mode.

Once Ken had gone, although he had never been the ideal target, I thought that I was in a good position. I was in a five-person alliance of myself, Sugar, Tom, Danielle, and Jerri, with every intention of taking Sugar/Jerri to the final three, in accordance with our original alliance. Nobody had any reason to flip. My plan here was to deceive Albert a bit. I was telling him that Sandra was the target, in the hopes that he would vote for her. My group of five would then put all our votes on him, and he would be eliminated as retribution for having backstabbed me by casting his vote against me the last round. This should have happened, and then Sugar, Jerri, and I should have been the final three.

Instead, however, Jerri flipped. I do not know why she did or at what point she began to spy on me, but she flipped (Sandra confirmed to me that Jerri, not Danielle, was the one who flipped). She may have been skeptical that I was taking her to finals, which is foolish. She may have wanted revenge for a vote that she had said she was over, which is petty. Whatever her reasoning, Jerri flipped and voted against Sugar for no logical reason. Sugar went out, and Jerri proved herself to be the most duplicitous, two-faced, manipulative, ignoble player in this entire game. The rest of the game is history -- I was lucky enough that Tom went next, and then I was predictably voted off due to jealousy. I take it as a massive compliment every time I am referred to as a "threat", because I truly do believe that I was the best player in this game. I dominated in the challenges, I excised secrets from Sandra and Erik at crucial times, I made the best strategic move at every round, I got Danielle to play her Idol on me, my stories provided massive entertainment, and -- indeed -- had Danielle not told Airai of our plan at the final eleven or had Jerri not flipped at the final ten, I would probably still be there.

I fought my heart out for every second. I gave my blood and my soul and my pride for this game for every minute of every hour of every day like a true warrior. I never once stopped thinking about the prize, but I never once stopped thinking about my morals. I never lied to anybody besides those who had backstabbed me first, whether it was Parvati due to Heroes vs. Villains or Albert due to his vote against me at the Ken round. Although I was a strong strategic player and -- indeed -- a manipulator, I was NEVER a liar, and I hope that you all remember that. And, indeed, I outlasted all the members of all of my major alliances.

If any of you have any hopes of getting my vote in the Final Tribal Council, then you will post an opening statement similar to this. I want a full explanation of what you did and why you did it at every single stage of the entire game, and I want it before I ask my pivotal question. Failure to do this will lose you my vote and, in all likelihood, the votes of others. (Complimenting me, my new mistress Sugar, and my gameplay in detail cannot hurt.)

Before I sign off (though I will still be around -- do not for a SECOND assume that you have excised my presence simply because you have excised my masterful gameplay), I would like to go through a brief overview of all of you -- as players and as warriors. I can think of wholly legitimate reasons not to vote for any one of you, so I hope that you can dispel these; now, however, is not the time to do so, for my jury vote is still several weeks way. I will go in the order in which you signed up.

Sandra, you are.. an interesting specimen. I was closer to you than anybody in the game, and yet you refused to go with the planned "Warrior's Alliance" of you, myself, Danielle, and Erik on this boot. You w

You would still have made the end -- and, indeed, with stronger characters. Instead, you wish to go there with the weak. Whether I can support that, I do not know. However, I do admire your honesty with me. I do not believe you told one lie to me excluding the final eleven when you tried (too hard) to convince me that I was safe, and as a warrior, I respect that. You are quite possibly the most noble, true, open person left in the game. That is a strength as a warrior, which I admire -- but as a player who I wish to see win the game, it may be a weakness. If any moment had been your downfall, then it would have been telling me how the votes were splitting at the final twelve, for you were nearly eliminated at the final eleven. That is a crucial, underlying flaw in your gameplay -- the extent to which you gave out information to the opposition -- but it does make me admire you as a warrior. "Warrior" and "Smart player", however, rarely overlap (I am, naturally, an exception.)

Laura and Brett, I fail to see any difference between the two of you. You have attacked me and cast shadows of doubt upon my nobility. That is poor gameplay as it will not earn you jury votes, and it is poor conduct, for it is incredibly rude. I will need an incredibly lengthy explanation of any moves that either of you have ever made at any point throughout the entire game if you wish for any chance of forgiveness or getting my jury vote (and, of course, an apology for what you said). All hope is not lost, but as of right now, you both appear wholly and utterly ignoble and worthless. I sincerely hope that neither of you has an ounce of pride in the identical path that you both have taken.

Erik, I admire and respect you more than quite possibly anybody in this entire game. You have always been thinking ahead, you have always been attempting to form good relationships with everybody, and at the end of the day, you were honest with me. You told me that I was going. Nobody else had the courtesy of messaging me and saying "Coach, it's you." You did, and I will remember that for the rest of my life. You are a strong player and a truly noble warrior. I thank and congratulate you (but, like everybody else, you will not get my vote without a full, in-depth explanation at the start of the Final Tribal Council that encompasses your entire game, as the one that I have done here.) You have truly earned redemption since Micronesia.

Jerri, you are worthless as both a player and a warrior. Flipping on me served absolutely no purpose. You were going to be in the final three with me and Sugar. You were always going to be in the final three with me and Sugar. I thought that you were a savvy, underrated player. I thought that you had class. I thought that we had built a strong, romantic relationship in the twentieth season. You spat in my face and flipped on me despite our strong background. It was classless and, indeed, a poor move, as you were always going to be in the final three with me and Sugar and would probably have won. I would not spit on the ground upon which you have walked. I have nothing more to say.

Albert, I have very little opinion on you. Indeed, when I was tabulating numbers for votes in my head, I frequently forget that you even existed. You backstabbed me, and I do have some animosity here because of that, but not as much as I hold towards Laura, Brett, and Jerri. As a player, I fail to see what you have done but side with the majority. Inoffensive, yes, but unimpressive. Perhaps you can wow me at the end. As of now, I am apathetic.

Danielle, you are a loyal, noble warrior, but an utterly hopeless player. I admire even the fact that you lied to me and voted off Chris -- it was simply because you didn't want to break a pre-existing bond with Kelly. That level of nobility is almost as high as something that I would attain. Indeed, you remind me of myself there, and I am still indebted to you for having played yo

played your Idol on me. Strategically, however, you were a bit of a wreck. I have rarely seen such pitiful gameplay as that which I observed from you at the final eleven. I have explained it before and I could explain it again, but the point is that you are a weak player despite your nobility and the extent to which I enjoyed your company. However, this is all ultimately irrelevant, as I trust that the players of Airai will continue to be utterly boring, maintain their numbers, refuse to shake anything up, and you will be joining me next. I hear Ponderosa has wonderful mimosas.

For the first time in the entire game, I have nothing more to say, and with that, I bittersweetly depart this game and its players -- for now. You have neither seen the last nor the best of me. My presence will be recurring, and I trust that you will all take note of me and enjoy what I bring to the Final Tribal Council.

I can only hope that the inverse is true as well.

Now that the seven consecutive rounds of people directly targeting me have ended, you all must find a new scapegoat (though that will probably only happen after Danielle is out.) You all must play new games. I am looking forward to seeing this final battle.

I wish the best of luck to the true warriors.
I wish the worst of luck to the rest.

-Coach

P.S.: At last, I can give the Queen's libido the full attention it deserves and demands.

You done?

I actually liked reading this. Very descriptive, but i kinda wanted u to go more indepth during the merge phase.

lol, k.

Btw, Coach, you never once wanted to talk to me. I tried talking to you one on one once and you didn't make any effort to talk to me. So I find everything about me false, but apparently that's just me.

Very entertaining speech, if i make it to the finals ill try to do the same

tl:dr

Besides coach, you probably would've won if we were stupid enough to bring you to the finals.

wow that was very interesting to say the least.....and to get the record straight coach, you never once told me that you were looking for me, you and sugar to be the final 3!  I always thought i would go before Tom!  And then when you brought Danielle in our alliance it just screwed everything up!  I never said one bad thing about you and no I was not being petty and taking revenge.....and i was not a spy! Several people said my name was being thrown around as being voted out and I had to make a move to look out for myself!  Your words hurt because I stayed loyal to you after my original alliance was gone and even helped you in a challenge, but i see you didn't mention that in your speech!

I'm a weak player? Geez thanks Coach.