Now for the rest of you on how the killer managed to kill John...
Dear Guests,
John had peacefully been sleeping in his bedroom when unbeknownst to him, I used the vent connecting their bedroom to the hallway to shine a high amp flashlight down it in order to wake up a sleeping wasp nest I had placed there hours beforehand. When the wasps awakened, I instantly shut the vent connecting to their end to ensure they all flew towards John. John, having awakened to a swarm of angry wasps, ran to the only seeming place of shelter: the bathroom. As he fled inside and slam the door, the aggressive physical bang caused a carefully placed bottle of 650 ppm hydrogen sulfate to fall. While normally this wouldn't be a problem due to the fact it is heavier than air, the excess amount of water in the bathroom caused John to slip and hit his head on the countertop and knocked him out, where the hydrogen sulfate promptly caused the body to fall into a deeper state of unconsciousness. The prolonged exposure causes severe damage to the eyes, and 30 minutes later, John was dead.
Poor John. He thought he could outrace death, but ultimately just pulled the lever that made it that much quicker. May his smelly, destroyed body rest in peace.
Cordially,
The Killer
