I DID NOT COME UP WITH THIS. I STOLE THIS IDEA FROM DONAAM.
if i call your name, please step forward
ornn.
warwick,
neeko.
lux.
twitch.
xayah.
you 6 represent the tops and the bottoms of the week. the rest of you are safe and may leave the stage.
ornn (victory): i was feeding tryndamere all game but i got carried by my superior everyone else. jinx died once to tryndamere and was like "ugh if ornn didnt feed i'd have an S." im like honey im having a bad game in a normals, take a chill pill. i got my revenge by not upgrading her infinity edge. NEVER disrespect miss ornn of house freljord.
warwick (defeat): i just honestly dont understand how people can throw such a lead. like we had 6000 more gold than them, i pressed such a hard advantage and then my team went and threw it all away and surrendered. i couldnt do any damage bc i built tank bc i thought my team was fed enough to do damage. i mean they probably could do damage but we would never know that bc they ran into them and died without doing anything.
neeko (victory): once again i snnnnnapped! same story, different cast; people just run into me when i disguise myself as someone on my team who's literally DEAD. like, girls, use context clues. but also, don't, cuz i want to win.
lux (defeat): um so i was filled support and i had no choice but to play lux even tho i swore i wouldnt play her support unless forced, and what happened? i flopped. against a yorick x mordekaiser bot lane. but one good thing did come out of it, when i got my ice form and started to recall i learned that lux says "let's get the HAIL out of here!" ...queen??
twitch (defeat): im not even gonna speak on my twitch gameplay bc it was exemplary as per usual. i just need to rant about how people go into a normal expecting to play fuckin mordekaiser or udyr or qiyana and have the win handed to them on a silver platter. that's not how it fucking works. im so sick of getting matched with people who give up the moment theyre in a losing situation. i cant do anything with crybaby teammates. boohoo, im not having fun, let me ruin this for everyone else on my team?? excuse me?
xayah (victory): someone finally picked rakan with me!! yay! but they were also kinda bad with him! also we had to face a monstrously fed irelia who did 73,000 damage but zed carried us and we won! the only reason they lost is cuz irelia kept targeting me in teamfights. haha CUNT!
i have made my decision.
neeko, your performance this week was inherently glamorous... condragulations, you are the winner of this week's challenge.
xayah, you're safe.
ornn, you're safe.
lux, your impact this week was very...dim. im sorry my dear but you are up for elimination.
warwick... you're safe.
that means twitch, im sorry my dear, but you are also up for elimination.
two champions stand before me. lux, twitch, this is your last chance to impress me and save your nexus from explosion. good luck, and don't fuck it up!
lipsync: the curse of the sad mummy
*lux and twitch deliver a chilling emotional portrayal before ulting the sky in unison*
wow...simply breathtaking. i have made my decision.
twitch...shantay you stay.
lux, my dear, shine on and be a luminous force in the world. i would say farewell, but i dont think this is the last we'll be seeing of you...but for now, sashay away.
*lux exits the stage twirling her baton*
congratulations to my elegant eight. neeko, xayah, ornn, taliyah, rakan, brand, warwick, and twitch: all of you have made it to the halfway point of this competition. im afraid i have some...irksome news for you. i have made a mistake. one of the eliminated champions built a guardian angel, making them exempt from elimination. but i dont exactly remember who... but be warned, soon you may be seeing a familiar face in the workroom next week...
