If you're reading this it means you've overcome the limitations of your tiny manatee brains and opened an blog. Now if you're asking yourself "DERR, wait, I'm confused. Is Jax talking to me? Am I a useless Whorehouse slut? Simply ask yourself the following question aloud: "IS MY NAME bowling4fun, Hannah_Banks2250, Robinhood99, FairyBoss, LovelyKiss or m7md26 ?" If the answer to that is YES then FELICITATIONS!!! THIS MISSIVE IS FOR YOU!! So, do you all remember when we agreed to meet at the campus pool and kill amf7410 and I got you all awesome new phones so that when it came time to meet, the phone would light up a certain color, and when it did, you didn't even have to answer it You just had to come meet at the aforementioned pool? And then do you remember NOT coming to the pool, despite me making it super easy for you by concocting a plan so simple that an orangutang could have figured it out? Like, literally a circus ape ( skyler1822) of moderate intelligence could have looked down at the phone sticking out of the single pocket in the front of his comical lederhosen and seen it light up and used his short little legs to waddle over to his tiny motorized shriners car and driven to the pool like I asked. Do you remember any aspect of this SUPER SIMPLE PLAN? That's not a rhetorical question. I'm literally asking if your tiny slut brains have the power to process ANY OF MY SUPER-SIMPLE ORANGUTANG LEVEL INSTRUCTIONS! Because what I remember is that NONE OF YOU SHOWED UP! Which meant I had to sit at that stupid pool by myself like a GRADE-A ASSHAT (like macken) with a bag full of enormous chains to drown Dean Munsch with and then have a super awkward convo with her where I was like "OH DURR I JUST LIKE BRING ENORMOUS CHAINS TO POOLS" and I looked like a total div. I don't entirely know what you whores could have been doing that was more important than helping your chapter president drown a serial killer, but unless that thing you were doing was getting enemas of pure liquid gold at a new local establishment called "LIQUID GOLD COLONICS FOR YOUNG SLUTS", like, if you were doing LITERALLY ANYTHING else, you all should seriously consider doing the human race a favor and getting sterilized. I'm not being facetious, I literally think you should consider undergoing a surgical procedure to remove your ovaries, thereby sparing human race exposure to your DNA. You four trollops ARE THE WORST SPECIMEN OF HUMAN BEINGS EVER BORN and you should all REALLY watch your backs, because if this serial killer targeting Kappa house doesn't chop off your heads, IM GOING TO DO IT!! So I can sell your tiny whore brain pans to science.
