I see a lot of one sentence blogs on this site. I dislike that, so here's me ranting about Jonah Hill.
I was forced to watch Superbad in high school because my friend looked exactly like a character called Mclovin. This was the firs time I has ever seen Michael Cera, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, or Jonah Hill. I didn't really like the movie, but I didn't find anything horrible wrong with any of them at that point. Cera went on to do Scott Pilgrim and Youth in Revolt, Christopher went on to do Kickass, so I'm not okay with both of them. Jonah Hill went on to do Funny People, which I liked, but didn't like him much, Get him to the Greek, where I was entirely focused on Russell Brand, and 21 Jump Street. I absolutely loved 21 Jump Street, because Channing Tatum was outstanding, however, this is the movie where I discovered my hatred for Jonah Hill. His character went from weak bullied kid, to popular asshole, to potential pedophile. Nothing in his character's transformation was a good thing, and I wanted to strangle him by the end of the movie. Then I realized it wasn't his character, it was him. I watched Superbad again and, once again, wanted to kill him. Everything that sack of shit does makes me want to chop his fucking head off.
All right, so I had a really bad year in 2012. I lost a lot of pets, had many fall outs with friends, a really messy break up, and 4 people close to me passed away, including my grandmother. So, understandably, I was upset. I was talking to a friend of mine when I heard the news of my grandmother, and instead of saying "Oh my god" "I'm so sorry" "Are you okay?" or anything else, this is what happened.
Me: "My gramma just passed away."
Her: "...Oh." And then when I got home I found out she deleted me on Facebook because she "didn't want to deal with my shit".
This was confusing, but I hadn't know her very long, so I brushed it off. When I heard the news of one of my friends dying over summer vacation, I was talking to my best friend from university over Facebook. I knew her really well, she talked to me about everything.
Me: "I just found out my friend Alyssa passed away :/"
And then she deleted me on Facebook without telling me why. I still have no idea what I did for that to happen.
In regards to the last blog I made, which was in response to another one, I noticed that this user made three or four other blogs about that one, the last of which saying that too many Canadians were raging at it, how it was posted as a joke, etc. The only thing I'd like to address about this is one comment: "Go watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding and eat some gravy covered fries, take a break and then re-read the blog and tell me what BAD things I said about Canada. (Besides the French speaking comment LOL)".
It isn't that she said anything bad about Canada at all, it's that it was all wrong. I have no problem with insults to Canada (I listen to Rucka Rucka Ali), but I dislike it when people insult it for things that aren't true. It's essentially on the same level as saying "Mexico sucks because the police force is run by daleks."
As for why I made the blog so long...... I have no good answer to that.
Hi Nicolette, nice to meet you, my name is Jordan. I couldn't help but notice your blog had a few errors, so let me clarify this for you.
"Every major Canadian city sits within 50 miles of the American border. If America moved its border north just 50 miles, there virtually would be no Canada."
This is going on the basis of three things. One: That America can just move it's border whenever it feels like. Two: The the border is a straight line. And three: that these Canadian cities will be effected at all if the border moved north.
Let's start with 2, as this is the easiest one to explain. The American border of Canada is actually almost a perfect straight line from the mainland of BC to Manitoba, and then it becomes a fucked up messed. It also bends to allow Vancouver Island, and because a border wouldn't just include a small piece of that island, I have decided that Canada will keep it.
Moving to 3. Nicolette is under the persuasion that the only two cities in Canada are Vancouver and Montreal, which is strange, because Toronto is quite famous here. Here is a list of Canadian cities that America would not take:
Toronto
Hamilton
Quebec City
Yellowknife
WhiteHorse
Prince George
Calgary
Edmonton
Regina
Saskatoon
Victoria
St. Johns
Saint Johns
Halifax
Charlottetown
Oshawa
Kelowna
the list goes on.
And for one? Yeah, the last time America started something with Canada it ended with 1812. I'd like to see you try to take Vancouver.
"We can stuff one dollar bills into a strippers thongs. Hell, we can pelt those bitches with wadded up $1's and not get in trouble, I'd like to see a Canadian do that with their "loony" or wtv the fuck they call it. Unless of course you're actually allowed to pelt them with your dollar coins, in which case Canada wins this one."
We use fives, strippers, we tip fives.
"We can grow oranges."
.... Yeah, so can we. I don't know where you heard that we can't but..... we can.
"We don't consider 55 degrees summer weather."
And that's because you're fucking stupid
We use celsius in Canada, America uses fahrenheit. 55 degrees celsius is around 130 in fahrenheit. If THAT'S too cold for you, we have a few nice volcanos you may like.
"When people speak French here, we think it's fkn weird."
I don't think you should consider it a point of your argument to say that Americans are unable to accept a wider variety of languages. Can you speak Spanish? How about Punjabi, Mandarin or Cantonese? If you answered no to any of these, then all you said with this was "In America, we think other countries are fkn weird."
"The three highest grossing Canadian films ever: My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002), The Hurricane (1999), Meatballs (1979)
Need I say more?"
You forgot Porky's, but that's besides the point. These films were produced in Canada, while the next one was produced in America, this is true.
But come on, when it comes to movies, who do you remember? The producer? Or the director? And you know what famous director was Canadian? James Cameron.
"The three highest grossing American films ever: Avatar (2009), Titanic (1997), Avengers (2012)
- Need I say more?"
Cameron movie, and Cameron movie. We'll be taking those, thank you very much.
When it comes to what country a film belongs to, you know why these are listed as American? You give money to them. And this is true, without the American companies, it's very possible these wouldn't be as big as they were. Still, it was made by a Canadian, all you did was pay for it.
"CANADIAN'S YOUR HIGHEST GROSSING MOVIE WAS "MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING" LMAO."
That's because horror isn't that big of a genre. We also have Saw.
"All bars in Canada have to stop serving alcohol by 2a.m. I don't even START drinking till half past midnight, so tell me how that's gonna work out."
Last call in BC can be 4, depending on the bar. Quebec's is 3, Ontario can go to 4, Nova Scotia 3:30. I'm going out on a limb by saying you didn't care to look most of this up. Also most bars here have people partying from 9 on. Why? Because why not.
Also our drinking age is 19.
"We don't add unnecessary extra letters into random words, like "color" and "favorite" aren't "colour" and "favourite". Even my Firefox is pissed off about this."
You are aware the British did that, and not the Canadians, right? Besides, we use both here.
"Las Vegas, Hollywood, San Fransisco, Hawaii"
I've been to these places. The thing about America's hotspots over Canadian's is that yours are fucking crowded. We quite like having our casinos spaced out, and Osoyoos and Penticton are quite nice. Also, word of advice, don't use San Francisco as an example if you can't spell San Francisco.
"We have a viable military."
The definition of viable is working successfully, and in that way Canada's military is actually fine. I'm very aware that America has a huge military that is spends a great deal of money on.... but why? You have the highest military expenditure in the world, more than the next 20 or so countries combined, and only one of these countries you aren't already allied with. This isn't bragworthy, it's a waste of money.
"Also, I happen to love our gun laws lmao. (NOTE PICTURE)"
We have guns here. Why do people think we don't? Hell, I've shot six, and own two. We have guns here.
Due to the fact that people disliked my last blog, I have decided to draw an elephant to mark my apology.