We ended up together because when we went on a date together, he was desperate for something to work. He never has sex on first dates, but we did. Did I just catch him at the right time or are we actually soul mates? :(
When I asked him on a date, I was drunk and I was in the most desperate and turbulent and emotional time of my life. Since meeting him, the quality of my life has increased by a million, but my deep rooted problems are still there and they cripple me sometimes.
We met on November 11th, 2018 at 7pm and we decided to be official boyfriends on November 18th at noon, almost exactly a week later. Since I’ve met him, we’ve never been apart for more than 2 days, unless on some very rare occasion. My first few weeks with him were the best of my entire life, and I wish I could play them back over and over again.
i met my boyfriend of 3 years drunk at a bar on the DAY after he got back from a year long deployment and he had a wife who had cheated on him and a rebound gf he met while overseas.......... LMFAO so he was just looking for an escape. I obviously did not know any of this at the time when i decided to agree to a drunken dance and it was a LONG FKN ROAD full of trust issues. but I've always known since I met him that he was the one. and we have worked through everything and I could not imagine my life without him. if you are happy that is the most important thing. if you see this relationship as something special and that you would fight for it I would just enjoy the relationship. It might not have started for the best intentions, but does not mean its not meant to be <3
Fucking on the first date would be a red flag for me. It almost happened to me once, but I couldn't do it. I dated the guy for 3 months and I thought I was in love, but it was anything but love. The beginning felt great but after time passed we grew further apart and it was not good at all. It took time for me to realise he was just confused and lost, as was I. We had rushed into something because we were both lost and lonely. It was like we wanted something to fill in the hole we both had, to avoid the fact that we both needed time to become happy with ourselves.
Some of the stuff you mentioned takes me back to that time of my life, like everything happening so fast. Some would say that is way too fast, but I've come to learn everyone is different and there is no specific time one must wait to move forward in a relationship. So, it all comes down to your individual situation, because every situation and person is unique.
Every couple argues, everyone has problems and we all have bad days. But deep down, are you happy with him? Can you confidently say you're happy in the relationship? It's not easy, I know, it's OK to not know, but try and figure it out. The one thing I do believe in is one must at least feel content on some level before entering a relationship. You can argue that you don't, and that getting a boyfriend can be the cure to all your instability, but I think this can lead to an extreme reliance on a partner.
You have to love yourself first. If not, how can you truly love somebody else? It is important to help one another and be there for each other, but it is also important to be able to do things on your own and be independent. I've known people that need to be around their partner to be happy and it just turns toxic. Be happy with you, and then you will know whether the relationship is meant to be.
I hope this has helped a little, like I said I've experienced something like this before and I know how awful it can be. I'm always here for you if you need me!
@Phillip13 Kaylabby
