I kinda feel like i need to reply to that. Not to start any drama with Greg or to get some attention, but just because you are both my friends and very important to me.Im sorry if i hurt anyone's feeling by saying that or if i'm getting on your nerves, if so... you can neg or just don't read. What's important for me is for my friend to see this.
Manda, the first time i met Dan, my boyfriend, people told me ''don't go with him, he will break your heart''. And at many times, he did. He was getting on my nerves, he was hurting me with some words and actions, but i knew. I knew what i was doing. I knew who he was inside. I knew who he really was, how pure his heart was. So when people were asking me ''what the hell do you see in him'' i was smiling and replying''Everything you can't see''.
I spent the most amazing 10 months of my life. It was not always easy, sometimes it was so difficult that i didn't knew what to do, i was about to just give up and run away, but still... Each time, Dan gave me a reason to stay. You know what was that reason? He showed me who he was inside, and then i knew why i was there, why i was with him, and no one on heart could have make me go away.
When something happened and he dissapeared, people were always telling me to not cry. They wanted to help me to ''forget my pain''. They were the same people who told me not to love Dan. How hypocrite was that? They wanted to help me to forget. But i didn't wanted to forget.
That day, i realize that, even if i was suffering so much, i would have suffered more if i've walked away from Dan. So never did i regret my choice to be with him. Never. There is not a single day that i don't miss him. Not a single day that i don't think ''what if?''. What if i was with him when the tragedy happened? What if he was with me? Maybe he would still be here... by my side.
I remember the very first day after he dissapeared... I was sitting with one of my bestfriend, and she said to me «It must be horrible, i understand». I was trying soooo hard not to cry. Crying would have mean that he was really gone, and i didn't wanted to accept that. All the color had dissapeared from my face. Somehow, i found the strenght to reply «It's not horrible... It will be horrible in like 10 years. Right now it's worst. Right now, i only wanna die». And i broke down.
I cried for what was, what's been, what could have been.
So, the only thing i can say to you Manda, sweetheart, is that you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be love. You are an amazing human being and i sincerely adore you.
If someone came to me and was talking about Dan, i would flip also... It is not cool when people talk about the person we love. It is not impossible that he may break your heart, but if so then you will enjoye the time you can have with him. If he do not break your heart, then it means he is the good one. By the time, i came to realize that it just doesn't matter if the person we love break our heart, the most important thing is to love, as much as we can, as long as we can, and never regret anything. So if you love him, go for it honey, don't let the other people bring you down
You have all my support, and you know, at any moment you can count on me. So don't be affraid, go ahead and never look back Manda17_xoxo and Rdude_1 you deserve all the happiness in the world. Don't ever let someone tell you what to do. Listen to your heart.
Well, i saw your blog, sweetie: http://www.tengaged.com/blog/Manda17_xoxo/2341491/faygo