I am the proudest loser of the world

Jan 7, 2012 by Ozzy297

I'm gonna set this straight; i'm not writing my blogs to get any attention. My blogs are kinda like a chronicle for me. I'm writing what i think about life and everything. I don't care if they are at -12389794 or at top1, i really don't. It is for me, and to share my experience with some people who might need it.

Tonight, i was siting at a table, at one restaurant of our city (named the ''ptit mousse'' it's a french place so don't try to understand lol) with 3 of my good friends. We were talking about love, how love changed our lives, how love is amazing, how love change everything. And then one of them looked at me and said''Ozzy(i won't say my real name) is such a loser. It's been like what? 11 months since you are alone?''

Yeah it's been like 11 months since the boy i loved dissapeared. It's been like 11 months since i am alone. I love listening to the others who talk about love, saying ''love gives me the strenght to do this or that''. My story is completely different. Wanna know why?

My story is completely different because the fact is that death doesn't scare me. Death would be a much easier choice for me. Thats why i tried to commit suicide 2 times after... everything. I was weak, i was a coward. No death doesn't scare me. It's here thats hard, it's getting up and fighting for myself. Because there is not anyone else, it is just for me. So i have to believe that i'm doing this for a good reason. I have to believe that i'm here for something wayyyyyyy bigger than death.

So i guess that, at 21 years old, fighting agains't a pain who will always be there, somewhere inside of me, makes me a loser.

If so, i'm proud to be a loser. Because being a loser makes me realize the value of life, of love, of everything.

My name is ozzy, and i'm a loser.

His hello was the end of his endings
His laugh was their first step to happiness
His hand would be his to hold forever
His forever was as simple as his smile
He said he was what was missing
He said instantly he knew
He was a question to be answered
And his answer was "I do"
-C.B

Dan, i was a loser when i met you. But when i saw your beautyfull eyes i knew. I knew it was the look at me that i always needed. When i heard your voice, i knew it was the voice i always needed. When i saw your smile i knew it was everything that happiness means. I was a loser, i will always be a loser, i'll always be your loser. I love you and i always will.

Comments

ily

Sent by AxKxAxBatman,Jan 7, 2012

awww ozzy297, im sorry < 333

Sent by egaga911,Jan 7, 2012

Don't ever give up hope. I'm glad you continue to want to stay alive. I know I've been where you are before but you have to pull through. Don't worry, the pain won't always be there. Your life is going to be amazing. Trust me.

Sent by Jazmyna,Jan 7, 2012

ur not a loser ozzy! UR AN AWESOME GUY AND ILY

Sent by ulicesgreen,Jan 7, 2012

This sounds similar to my story. +12. I have been through A LOT in my 20 years of existence. People don't know.

Sent by Matthew09,Jan 7, 2012

ily
Sent by AxKxAxBatman,Jan 7, 2012

Sent by Sheena,Jan 7, 2012

Not very original sheena

Sent by Ozzy297,Jan 7, 2012

but i love you too

Sent by Ozzy297,Jan 7, 2012

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I am the proudest loser of the world

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