Nick24678 - We used to work the club together. I remember giving team lap dances once in awhile, but that was only on them slow nights. I remember we used to work for that money ;) That one time you got choked on the banana and you also super glued your ass to the pole. Fun times, but that was me before. We should reconnect sometime.
roachster10 - OMG gurlllll! You were back in my raging days. We had "fun" once in awhile. Oh wtf, I'll admit it, we were fuck buddies. I remember back when we went through our swinger stage. I was dating Janelle_Pierzina and you had a fucking creeper cunt and we swapped partners. I'd say I got the short end of the stick, but Janelle is a horny bitch. She just craves sex too much. But oh well. That's a whore for you.
babebee - You that butch bitch from the prison!! I was always scared of you for the fear of rape, but once you were released and we reconnected you got more normal. Even got a little feminem. I still think you have a penis, but hey, whatever floats yo boat sir!
Janelle_Pierzina - Me and you went through rough times, but in the end you're my main bitch. We went through a lot of stuff together. Your stage of alcoholism, our times when we sat around a bonfire and did doobies while I played the banjo and you blew the harmonica, or even when I had to take you for your butt implants. Yes I hate you and call you a stupid bitch sometimes, but at the end of the day me and you are ho ho whores till the end.
Donutdude556 - Remember that time we went and applied to "16 and Pregnant"?! We were ratchet ass bitches, but we didn't care! We partied like we were fly as fuck. Who says pregnant sluts can't party? We proved those losers wrong! NEVER SAY NEVER! Btw, Raqueesha called and said you still got her weave and you wouldn't give it back so she stole your kitty and said you can have it back when you put that weave on her porch.
MTman - You need a new face bitch. We will never talk again! Don't think you can steal my man then try to just give a sweater as an apology gift! I saw that sweater at goodwill, I ain't stupid bitch. Looked like you cut off your pubic hair and knitted it into that fucking sweater. Clean yoself up and maybe get some boob implants and then you can strut around like you the king of the hood. #RatchetAssHo
Glam - Glitter Glam Gleam!!! You my whore, my slut, my girly. So many memories, but one sticks out. We went to the strip club that one time cause it was my baby shower. We partied it up and you got me a couple lap dances. Never knew someone could give a belly blow like Javier. ;) Anyways, that night we thought it would be fun to hitch a ride with someone since everyone had left the club but us. Well this guy pulled over and we got in, but he was a little frisky and I was for it, till he pulled out the plunger. So then I had to sacrifice you and tell him he could have you and just let me out. You were mad, but hey, I payed the therapy sessions -_-
Sheena - I think you were that chick that gave me that massage on my vacation. We didn't do anything cause I don't sleep with the help. But I do have a tip. When you give massages, the vagina is the most important part! You just rubbed my ass and dug your elbow in my back. Hit me up though, I'm feeling pain tonight.
RachelReilly1 - Quit leaving your tampons on my kitchen floor! I swear my house is like a murder scene. You're always cranky too. Guess that's why there's so many fucking tampons -_- I know your "aunt" is supposed to only visit once a month, but damn girl! I think you got a 24/7 family reunion in your pants. Get that shit checked out.
luis_leal77 - I remember that time we were at your house and we were bored so we hired midgit strippers. I swear they were the cutest fucking thing! They were dressed as the seven dwarfs and you were Snow White. You didn't get a poison apple, you got a banana ;) but that was a fun night! Once the strippers left we got out some of our old toys.
gotanygrapesxo - You were always that girl anyone could fuck, but no one would want to! Haha, no but really, you are a great wingwoman! You would always take a bullet for your friends at the club. No one is as true a friend as you! You even forgave me that time I forgot you at the club and a hobo almost raped you! Good times :,)
manalord - OMG quit stalking me and my bitches! I saw you at Chi Chi's Saturday night. You were across the street in that Burger King dumpster with binoculars. I'm sorry I tweeted that you queefed at the reception! You a nasty ass whore who now thinks your whole life will revolve around getting revenge on me! You're just jelly of me and my boo. Don't try and break us up or try to give me your herpes. #byebitch
torimarie - Me and you used to be like tight bitches, but now only time I see you is when you post your whiny ass statuses about you getting dumped by your sugar daddy. Spoiler alert, we don't care. Just go talk to Ben and Jerry and cry yourself to sleep. He wouldn't abuse you if you weren't caught giving bj's to every Walmart employee who will accept. (facepalm)
